Sean Combs, a.k.a. (as of this writing) Diddy, is pre-pimping the October release of his new album Press Play. As part of that, he's launched a promotional video-blog on YouTube under the aegis of his Bad Boy Records label. Prepare for some of the most riveting celebrity camera-mugging ever seen. The clip above is an instant classic, featuring a just-awakened Diddy complaining about the crud that forms at the corners of his mouth when he sleeps, plus the most gangsta intonation of the word "applesauce" ever recorded.

[Via Jewish Conscience]
Earlier: Already Over: Jews

Actually, this video explains the spat between Valleywag and business blog TechCrunch as coherently as the intro to Battlestar Galactica explains the Cylon War — which is to say, not at all. But it sure was fun to watch.

David Brent, the "Office" boss played by Ricky Gervais, needs no intro. So here he is, in a special training video for Microsoft. (Thank God they didn't pick Steve Carell.)

• This Bud's For Me [Spare Room]

Sure, last night's Comedy Central roast of William Shatner was all about the Dick-licking. On the other end of the wholesomeness scale was proudly out Star Trek actor George Takei, having plenty of chuckles at Shatner's expense as well as his own. The camera went to him frequently, proving that the Comedy Central producers were just as fascinated as we were by Takei's joyous open-mouthed laugh-rictus. Above is a homage of Takei's best laughs, plus bonus man-smooch courtesy of roast comedian Jeff Ross.

The lust for fame and riches drives many a Silicon Valley aspirant to pull awesinine stunts. Take, for example, the videoblog that crashed this weekend's startup-studded TechCrunch party at the offices of Menlo Park firm August Capital.

Everyone buzzes about YouTube's crazy $2 billion valuations and founder Chad Hurley hanging out with moguls, but has anyone really looked at the company's day-to-day lifestyle?

As a fitting bookend to yesterday's Everything I Know About Drugs I Learned From Hollywood, Cracked.com has collected the "5 Most Obviously Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever." Included is this 1980 Richard Pryor interview on the set of Stir Crazy, featuring the comedian soaring out of his melon on what must have been a healthy portion of that day's dumptruck delivery of cocaine. Among his tooth-gnashing, head-slapping revelations, "I had seven pussies for lunch," "Gene Wilder is shit. He's a faggot. He can suck my dick I don't care," and the piece de resistance, an impromptu jerk-off mime at the 6:30 mark accompanied by sensual "aahs" and "oohs." The TV landscape has certainly mellowed since then, with the best we can hope for these days being the occasional Daily Show clip in which Owen Wilson acts like he's been mildly incapacitated by a green-room bong hit.

Pardon us for posting this a bit late — we've been following Stephen Colbert's tips for protecting our privacy on the Internet.

There are so many things about the world we don't know, and if we do know them, we don't really understand them. For example, we had no idea an entire subculture had grown up around voguing — i.e., sorta dancing and contorting and flipping your limbs around in rough approximation of Madonna's antics in the video for her song "Vogue." Though the dance style ostensibly predates her, even Madge is strictly "old way" voguing; sorry, Miss Thing. Above, witness post-1990 "new way" vogue aficionados Aviance and Mecca competing in a New York vogue battle, which involves alarmingly thin queens in spandex (and goggles) demonstrating a physicality we can only describe as alien to the natural human experience.

• Everything I Know About Drugs I learned from Hollywood [LAist]

OK, so maybe Shake Shack has no vermin problem, but the Starbucks on 2nd Avenue and 9th Street? Or 57th Street and Park Avenue? Not so fortunate. Employees protested this morning against the multitudinous infestations of rats and roaches, shown here lovingly in both photo and video (rats dead, roaches very much alive). Would you like some cucaracha with that biscotti?

Say what you will about Samuel L. Jackson, but he's really committed himself to selling Snakes on a Plane. While many members of his trade would now have a dead-eyed, faraway look after weeks of being on the messy end of countless press junket bukkake sessions, Jackson brought what seemed like genuine enthusiasm to his Daily Show appearance last night in pimping his airborne reptilian wares, even inducing a giddy stream of "motherfuckers" from Jon Stewart. But easily our favorite part of the interview comes toward the end of the above clip, in which [SPOILER ALERT] Jackson, who's never met a paycheck he didn't like, reveals he doesn't die in the movie, then nearly defecates with glee at the thought of the negotiations for his sequel contract—he knows he's going to get paid when New Line comes calling on Sunday to sign him up for Snakes on Two Planes and Snakes on a Space Shuttle in 3D.

• Haunted Mansion w/ Lights On During Theft - Part 1 [YouTube via BoingBoing]

If we were the more cynical sort, we might find ourselves wondering if a Comedy Central publicist locked Andy Dick in a janitorial closet with a handful of eightballs and a rolling yellow bucket filled with Grey Goose, refused to let him out until he'd consumed the entirety of his rampage cocktail, then whispered in his ear that the NY Post reporter wandering by just told her that she'd always dreamed of having the star of Less than Perfect give her a good, spontaneous fondling followed up by a solo watersports display. But as Occam's Celebrity Asshole Razor holds, the simplest explanation for a famous person's egregious public behavior is usually the best one, so Dick's biting and groping can probably be written off to the booze and drugs making him hungry and horny rather than ascribed to more complex PR machinations shaping his behavior.

[Second best Zinczenko-ism immediately followed, when he insisted that the sex appeal of actual fat-asses was a "tough calzone to swallow." That one's for you, Bobby Baccala!]

A new video raises the bar for the "we make crazy not art" set. Christophe Bruno feeds keywords into Google, which returns search results that are fed through a text-to-speech program to a human wearing headphones. The human spews out the text stream. The net result feels like watching Rocketboom.