Even though the pre-release controversy surrounding Kid Nation, CBS's attempt to bring Lord of the Flies-style improvisational community-building to primetime television, seemed to indicate each episode would bring viewers harrowing footage of exhausted 10-year-olds mistakenly chugging bleach or sacrificing their weakest, most homesick citizens to a pack of ravenous coyotes for the good of an evolving society, the physical jeopardy in which the Nationeers were placed in last night's premiere exceeded anything we were prepared for.

This is the latest clip released from the voice-over-IP gadget maker and its creative genius, teen idol Ashton Kutcher. The creepy kid actor is back, and he nicely fills his role as a low-budget Damien from The Omen. Notice the video never mentions the product or company itself — probably a good thing. Better to keep the brand name as far as possible from the crappy production and bad acting. Even Michael Arrington at TechCrunch, who has given mostly favorable coverage to Ooma in the past, calls this video drug-induced. We agree. The question is, what kind of drug? I vote peyote — put your guesses in the comments.

• Sherri Shepherd Explains The World is Flat remark [YouTube]

Take a gander at CollegeHumor co-founder Josh "The Boring One" Abramson's new digs over at 13th Street and 6th Avenue! 15-foot ceilings! A marble-topped kitchen island! A closet as big as the craphole you live in now! But don't be jealous; use it as inspiration! Somewhere out there is an idea that could be your "posting pictures of drunk co-eds whipping their boobs out on the Internet": you just have to go find it and then watch the cash roll in!

Having subjected Defamer videographer Molly McAleer to a number of assignments on the filthy sidewalks of Hollywood Boulevard, we decided it was time she got to class things up a bit and tote her camera to a red carpet, so we dispatched her to the Maxim Style Awards at Avalon last night to see what would happen. Unsurprisingly, an encounter with party ubiquity Bai Ling ensued (who we're not entirely sure exists outside of the event circuit), as did some firing squad time with Brady-loving former Top Model Adrianne Curry. Part I of Molly's video report is above, while the thrilling conclusion—starring a dude from Weeds who discusses his co-star's recent adoption news—follows after the jump:

Trent Reznor, frontman for Nine Inch Nails, is on the warpath against his record label, Universal Music Group. In Sydney, Reznor kicked off the NIN concert with an appeal to the crowd to steal his music until the labels realize they're ripping people off. This follows his attack on the recording industry while playing the Beijing Pop Festival earlier this month. He asked Chinese fans who couldn't obtain legal copies of his album to download it off the Web. Reznor views labels as greedy entities — charging progressively more for records without passing any additional revenue to artists. Once the band's contract with Universal is finished, Reznor plans to sell music directly to his fans for about $4 an album.

To entice potential customers, Ooma created the commercial above to get viral attention about its product. Ooma "creative director" Ashton Kutcher — Mr. Demi Moore himself — produced the clip, which features an unfortunately dressed creepy kid actor and more quick cuts than an anime cartoon. We already had our doubts about the viability of the service. This doesn't help.

If you spend any time in the Union Square area you'll recognize this week's subject of our parade of the distinct and down-to-earth styles that keep New York realer than New York: He's the incense guy from Union Square. Richard Blakeley found out who he's wearing.

• Big Brother 8 Amber After Finale Interview [YouTube via RealityTVCafe.com]

When I first saw CollegeHumor's original "Internet Commenters" clip, my thought was, "Brilliant — but a one-hit wonder, and an exception to the rule that Internet video sucks." Not so. Now, with an even funnier sequel out, I'm thinking that this is an idea with legs — and that CollegeHumor could succeed, where so many others have failed, with original online videos.

"Chris first got on our radar a year ago," said 44 Blue prexy/co-founder Rasha Drachkovitch, who said he wants to develop a show that plays to Crocker's strengths.

While the scintillating debate about whether Fox's censors directed the profanity-erasing silence-rays of its Sphere of Censorship against Sally Field for either the "goddamned" or "no more...wars" portions of her rambling acceptance speech rages on, we thought it would be fun to share a clip of some the filthy, filthy things that the network's Standards & Practices allowed on the air during the Emmys telecast.

We have to admit that we're disappointed in Griffin's admission—we'd secretly hoped that we were witnessing a genuine conversion experience as the comedian publicly prostrated herself before that graven Creative Arts idol and flipped off the Messiah as a pledge of allegiance to her gilded new God, and not just a cynical attempt at seeing how many Tennesseean theater groups she could induce to bankrupt themselves by buying full-page USA Today ads decrying her blasphemy.

OH. MY. GOD. YOU. GUYS. Last night's "The Hills"? So, like, Lauren and ex-BF Jason are spending time together again and even though nothing's happened yet, it's like totally clear that it could? So they go to super-hot restaurant Ketchup? And who walks in right after them but HEIDI AND SPENCER? And everyone's like totally shocked even though this is a completely scripted drama? And there is like MAJOR uncomfortableness between them because HEIDI AND SPENCER SUCK? So the next day at work Heidi comes in and starts telling Elodie about it? And Elodie's all, Why do you think that is? And Heidi's all hurt and confused? Maybe she doesn't realize it's because SHE'S A TOTAL BITCH? Anyway, OH. MY. GOD.

On last night's episode of "Who Wants To Be A Douche?" the remaining members of pick up artist Mystery's Douche Candidate School faced their toughest challenge yet: They had to bag a stripper. (If you can bag a stripper, apparently, you can bag anyone.) In this scene, contestant Brady manages to convince a comely lass to accompany him to a waiting limo. But will he pull the trigger? There's only one more episode of "The Pick Up Artist" left and, frankly, we're kind of relieved.

As we briefly mentioned on our way out the door on Friday afternoon, the Oscar-winning Jamie Foxx, star of such big-screen entertainments as Bait, Stealth, and critically acclaimed prophylactic-acquisition farce Booty Call, received his very own slab of Hollywood Walk of Fame immortality. Confident that Foxx's star-laying ceremony would generate more local excitement than that of previous honoree Vin "America's Funniest Testes-Traumatizing Home Videos" Di Bona, Defamer videographer Molly McAleer once again decided to thrust her camera lens where it probably didn't belong, basking in the eardrum-bursting love provided by the enthusiastic throng of Fox fans who turned out for the event.

As A-list TV Gays like T.R. Knight and Neil Patrick Harris experienced the Emmy awards en ronde inside the industry-embracing walls of the Shrine Auditorium, their lesser-known counterparts piled into West Hollywood drinking establishment East West for an "OUT at The Emmys" viewing party. Defamer videologist Molly McAleer was on hand to capture the red carpet arrivals, which she edited together into a touching tribute to emerging talent she calls Gay D-Listers Spelling Their Names for the Cameras. Alas, it's but one on the minor job hazards on their way up Hollywood's slippery velvet ladder, one Logo-reality-series step at a time.

Intel has snagged videogame programming tools provider Havok. Its "physics engine," among other software products, is widely used in the industry to simulate real-world motion inside games. Havok will continue to operate independently, but is likely to offer Intel-specific products to aid in the chipmaker's gaming arms race with AMD. Intel needs all the help it can purchase to drum up support for its upcoming Larrabee graphics chip. So how does Havok fit in?