clips
NBC's Ben Silverman Handicaps The Fall TV Season
mark · 09/25/07 03:58PMAnd as for the guy who challenged his manhood over the way he handled the aftermath of Reilly's unexpected firing, Silverman acknowledges there's some buzz on Pushing Daises, but does take a shot at Steve McPherson's beloved Cavemen, which internet blogsite Cavefamer has called "twenty-two rollicking, Cro-Magtastic minutes of laughing and thinking that will make you forget all about auto-insurance commercials!"
A Douche Is Born
abalk · 09/25/07 02:25PM
Last night was the concluding episode of the VH1 douchebag-training documentary "America's Next Top Douche," and, after an intensive course in douchery, pick up artist "Mystery" selected a new douche to join him and his wingmen as they travel across the country performing random acts of gentle doucheness. Here's the climactic moment, when one of the two finalists is transformed from simple douche-aspirant to full-fledged Douche. (We won't say who, but the clip does reveal it; also, you can see his demo reel here.) It's stirring and touching. And, thank God, over.
MySpace millionaire says "whatever" to high school
Tim Faulkner · 09/25/07 01:15PMMany parents are worried about their teenage children obsessively spending all their time on MySpace and other social networks. Not Ashley Qualls's mother — even though her 17-year-old daughter has gotten so involved with MySpace she dropped out of high school. Qualls has parlayed her MySpace designs into an ad-supported business worth millions of dollars. Her website, Whateverlife.com, has seven million unique visitors a month. The teenager has bought her family a new home and hired her mom.
Mel Gibson Chooses Costa Rican Bandit Country Over Malibu Beaches
mark · 09/25/07 11:18AM
We're know we're all still recovering from Kiefer Sutherland's drunken tackling of our collective Christmas tree, but, unfortunately, nothing but more heartache awaits: as noted in the above Today clip, Malibu land baron Mel Gibson, whose despotic control of the sleepy beachside community was undermined by some ill-chosen, tequila-drenched words about his Semitic and sugar-titted subjects, is abandoning our fine city for the badlands of Costa Rica, ignoring the warnings of a government concerned for the safety of our emigrating national treasure.
Spencer Pratt Just As Ashamed Of Heidi Montag As The Rest Of America Is
abalk · 09/25/07 11:10AM
YOU GUYS. POOR LAUREN. OMG. So, on last night's "The Hills," Lauren's ex-BF Jason totally drops the "I do want you to meet my girlfriend" bomb on Lauren, even though it completely seemed like he and Lauren might get back together? And even worse? He's all, We're moving in together, come to our housewarming party? And then at the housewarming party, they're like, Oh, yeah, we're TOTALLY ENGAGED, and you could just see the hurt in Lauren's eyes and you SO wanted to give her a hug and maybe punch Jason! Why are guys such jerks? Also, Heidi's all trying on wedding dresses for her engagement to Spencer and then she find out HE HAS SO TOTALLY NOT EVEN TOLD HIS PARENTS ABOUT THE WEDDING. And she's like, Why? Are you embarrassed by me? And he doesn't say anything, but you can fully tell the answer is either, Yes, you're a total bitch or No, it's because I am secretly gay. Sigh. We, like, hate Heidi so much, but the look on her face is JUST SO SAD. So sad.
The Button-Down Mind Of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
abalk · 09/25/07 09:20AM
You've read about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's famous "we don't have any homosexuals" routine, but you really need to see it performed live at his Columbia University gig to get the full effect: It's all in the delivery. As a bonus, he also breaks into his bit on women, which has the absolutely hilarious part about how Iranian women are so respected—How respected are they?—Iranian women are so respected that they're exempt from legal responsibilities. This guy kills us.
Amply Endowed Andy Samberg Woos The Lady-Loving Ladies
seth · 09/24/07 07:19PMBrian Atene Vs. Leave Britney Alone Guy
mark · 09/24/07 06:48PMEven though the clip's ultimate purpose is unclear—unless it's intended to create a viral abomination that will rampage through the internet, destroying every bears-in-hammocks video in its path—it did, like all provocative works of art, cause us to ponder an uncomfortable question: namely, how can we live in a world where LBAG can rack up 9 million views en route to his own possible reality show, while a gifted improvisational performer like Atene is forced to toil in development-deal-free obscurity? God, we are forced to conclude, has turned His back on the YouTubes.
Meet Adam Lopez
abalk · 09/24/07 04:40PMCaptain Jack Sparrow, Homer Simpson React To The O.J. Situation
mark · 09/24/07 03:25PM
Concerned that Hollywood's most interesting voices were being willfully ignored by the mainstream media in the aftermath of O.J. Simpson's daring, if ill-fated, Las Vegas sports-memorabilia heist, we sent tireless Defamer videographer Molly McAleer to Grauman's Chinese Theater's intellectually vibrant public square to document the reactions of some of the insightful cultural pundits who tirelessly patrol the Walk of Fame. Had our intrepid reporter not made the journey, the world may never have had heard fellow incorrigible outlaw Captain Jack Sparrow empathize with O.J.'s vigilantism, or listen as a clearly distressed Homer Simpson laments how the tabloid-industrial complex is unfairly monetizing his distant cousin's troubles.
The Top Chef Finale Is A-Coming
Joshua Stein · 09/24/07 02:10PM
Some publicist-lady at Bravo sent us some preview clips of the first part of the "Top Chef" finale that is airing this Wednesday. They are short but strangely revealing. Did you know that Hung is half-Chinese and half-Vietnamese and that his father is Hmong?
Are Apple's recent ads all brilliant?
Owen Thomas · 09/24/07 12:27PM
MacLife has put together a list of the 10 worst Apple commercials of all time — but with the exception of the infamous Ellen Feis, who became an Internet celebrity with her bleary-eyed exhortation to switch to a Mac, none of the ads seem to date from the current Steve Jobs era. Could this really be the case? Are all of Apple's recent ads uniformly brilliant? Take, for example, the first-ever ad for the iPod, which features actor Jeff Goldblum a Jeff Goldblum look-alike, um, moonwalking. The clip, after the jump. Any other nominations? Leave a comment.
Britney Spears' Human Drug-Doing Shield Tells His Story On 'Today' Show
mark · 09/24/07 12:18PM
On this morning's Today show, early-rising interrogator Matt Lauer broke out the nipple clamps and car battery in hopes of getting some answers out of ex-Britney Spears bodyguard and Spears-Federline Custody Trial of the Century "secret witness" Tony Barretto regarding his shocking accusations that he'd personally observed the twice-rehabbed mother of two abusing unspecified substances in the VIP booth and VVIP bathroom stall of an unidentified L.A. nightclub.
O.J. Decides To Pull One Last Job
mark · 09/21/07 07:38PMInside The O'Quinn Fashion Show At Falcon
mark · 09/21/07 06:43PM
As regular readers of this site already know, we are so shamefully fashion-obsessed that we waste a good half-hour each morning fretting about whether the tattered pair of boxers we've chosen to wear to "the office" that day properly complements at least one of our mismatched socks. Accordingly, we dispatched videographer Molly McAleer to the O'Quinn Fashion Show at Falcon last night, instructing her to return with footage from the event that might inspire us to even greater sartorial heights.
Mystery Reveals His Astounding Secrets
abalk · 09/21/07 11:37AM
Last night megadouche pick up artist "Mystery" was a guest on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," where we learned that some of his most interesting lines come from the inside of a Snapple bottlecap. We also learned that we can barely stand to look at his ridiculous face anymore. One more episode of that show and we're DONE, please God. It's going to be so hard!
The Sadder Side Of 'Kid Nation'
mark · 09/20/07 06:46PM
Despite how easy our earlier video of last night's eagerly anticipated Kid Nation premiere might have made life in CBS Bonanza City, NM seem, the children's new frontier existence is not all fun and choosing-whether-to-be-passively-entertained- or-poop-before-your-bowels-rupture games. Being separated from one's parents or pageant coaches for the first time can be an emotionally devastating experience that not every grade-school-age society-builder is equipped to handle, as you can clearly see above in the teary eyes of Jimmy and Taylor.
Hey Young Lady! Did You Watch "Gossip Girl" Last Night?
abalk · 09/20/07 06:00PMAs Tears Go By: "Kid Nation"
abalk · 09/20/07 03:55PM
You catch the new CBS reality show "Kid Nation" last night? Its detractors have likened it to child labor and suggested that the children in the show might have been exploited and left vulnerable and unprotected in an abandoned New Mexico town. We don't really know all the facts, because we haven't really cared enough to read any of the articles all the way to the end. Also, we didn't watch the show. We did, however, put together a montage of all the sissy babies who cried. Enjoy!