• Sarah Palin has tapped lawyer/agent Robert Barnett, who has brokered book deals for Obama and both Clintons, to help her score a deal of her own. [THR]
• MSNBC is thinking about adding a third show during primetime. [NYT]
• ABC is furious that it spent $2 million for "exclusive" footage of the Obamas' first dance, only to find out other networks were covering it, too. [NYP]
• Rumor has it Playboy is combining the staff of its website and magazine and moving the entire editorial operation to Chicago. [Page Six]
• The white power sent to the Journal yesterday was harmless. [WSJ]

There are only two months left before Angelina Jolie arrives in New York to begin filming Edwin A. Salt—the shooting will take place in Bethpage on Long Island—which means it's officially time to begin guessing where Jolie, Brad Pitt and family will live while Jolie earns her big, fat paycheck. The most promising contender: The Sassafras estate in Lloyd Neck, which has three separate houses on 48 acres of land and also comes with two helipads, tennis court, pool, and private cove with dock. It's up for sale for $60 million; no word (yet) on how much it will go for as a rental. In the meantime, you can have a look at the property Jolie & Co. might occupy after the jump.

With all due respect, Bank of America didn't suddenly force out John Thain because he spent $1 million on office decorations a year ago. That was a year ago! And lots has happened since then! Remember last month when John Thain asked for a year-end bonus, an effort he almost immediately abandoned? That didn't look too good! Then he went to Vail over the holidays right around the same time Bank of America was closing on its acquisition of Merrill Lynch, firing thousands of employees, and preparing to announce record losses. Today's damaging news? Thain approved $3 to $4 billion—that's "b" for billion—in bonus payouts three days before the Merrill sale went through. But when the real story is kinda complicated, it's easier to place blame on $44,000 area rugs! [Gawker, Gothamist]

With the economy in a tailspin, there aren't quite as many "whales" heading out to Teterboro to catch complimentary flights to Las Vegas. Why bother losing all your money at the poker and blackjack tables when you can do the same thing in front of your Bloomberg terminal in your Midtown office? We're guessing this explains why MGM Mirage, the gambling giant that controls such properties as the Bellagio, Mirage, MGM, and Mandalay Bay hotels, put their incredibly luxe 2001 Boeing Business Jet on the market this week. The plane seats 17 and features a master suite, guest bedroom, conference room, and bathroom with shower. Alas, the company didn't specify how much they'd like for it, so you'll have to kick things off with an opening bid. They also didn't mention if they'd be willing to give the plane a scrub-down before it changes hands. Given the number of horndog billionaires and sleazy celebs who have probably deposited their DNA on the "luxurious, tan leather seats," it would be the least they could do, no? Photos of the interior after the jump.

Hope Donald Trump is huddling with his accountants today and not filming his 7,236th appearance for Fox News or Larry King Live. His casino company has two weeks to sort out its debt issues before it faces a third trip to bankruptcy court. [AP]

Yes, the holidays feel like they were about a hundred years ago, but it must still be January since journalists are still writing about dieting and detoxes. In case you hadn't noticed, pills and drinks that claim to rid your organs of toxins, your skin of impurities, and your ass of fat are one of the few thriving areas in the realm of expensive things that nobody needs, and even better for their purveyors, their profit margins are inversely proportionate to the cost of ingredients.

We've heard plenty about Giuseppe Cipriani and all of his tax problems, liquor license issues, credit difficulties, and messy legal disputes. We've even heard about Giuseppe's 20-year-old son Ignazio, who was arrested last month for clocking a bouncer outside 1Oak. Allow us to turn your attention to the youngest—and most adorable—member of the Cipriani family, Maggio. The 18-year-old graduated high school (Dwight) last year and is now employed by dad. But he's having a pretty good time when he's not working, as you can see from the photos after the jump.

John Thain, the former CEO of Merrill Lynch who assumed control of Bank of America's trading, investment banking and brokerage operations following BoA's acquisition of Merrill, has resigned effective immediately. The reason? The Journal reports that board members considered it "poor judgment" on Thain's part when he headed off to Vail for a little vacation at the same time Bank of America was announcing massive losses, and his decision to accelerate bonus payouts at Merrill so they could be collected before the end of the year didn't earn him any points. The last straw: Thain was still insisting on jetting off to Davos this week, "even though Bank of America had signaled that such a trip was not a good idea." He has plenty of time to stroll in the Alps now!

• Lee Neibart, a senior partner at William Mack's Apollo Real Estate Advisors, and his wife Joyce, have paid $7 million for a three-bedroom apartment on the 16th floor of 15 Central Park West. [Cityfile]
• That was quick. James Nicholson, who paid $27 million for John and Lauren Veronis' Meadow Lane home earlier this month, has already put the property back on the market. It's now listed at $33 million, believe it or not. [Newsday, Sotheby's]
• Journalist Cathleen Trigg-Jones and her husband, plastic surgeon Michael Jones, have listed their 10-bedroom townhouse at 430 West 147th Street for $4 million. [NYP, PDE]

We have no idea if this works, but you're walking down 57th Street today and have nothing better to do, feel free to give it a try and report back. "Want a impossible Babbo, Le Bernardin or a Waverly Inn resy last min (or any rest)? Easy and free... Go to the Four Seasons Hotel on 57th Street. Pick up a house phone ask to be connected to restaurant of choice. When restaurant picks up tell them you are calling from the Four Seasons Hotel for Mr "YOURSELF" and need a reservation for 2 or 4 or whatever. Tell the host at the restaurant that dinner will be quick for you have a art gallery show to attend which you can look up on www.artinfo.com. Has worked every time!" [Eater]

Caroline Kennedy ran a disastrous quasi-campaign for Hillary Clinton's Senate seat before deciding to bow out last night. Initially she refused to answer reporters' questions; when she eventually changed her approach and opened up, she demonstrated such little skill for dealing with the press that even some of her supporters started to wonder if she was up to the job. Kennedy now says she abandoned her bid for the Senate because of "personal reasons," which one Kennedy insider suggested was due to Caroline's concerns about Ted Kennedy's declining health. The much more plausible theory, of course, is that she bowed out when she heard she wasn't going to get the nod from Gov. David Paterson: making the decision herself provided her with a much more graceful exit. It was one of the only wise moves Kennedy and her team have made in the last few weeks. All of the blunders that have embarrassed her since she kicked off her campaign? Here are two people you can already start blaming: Kevin Sheekey and Stefan Friedman.

Zsa Zsa Gabor and her publicity-loving husband, Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, tell the National Enquirer that they lost "a fortune" because of Bernie Madoff and they may now be forced to sell their Bel-Air home, cars, artwork and jewelry to stay afloat. "I'm going to have to make back that money somehow or we're going to face financial ruin," the prince tells the magazine. Accepting a check from the Enquirer to tell your story sounds like a good enough place to start. [Radar]

It looks like Marc Jacobs is packing his bags and leaving behind the Mercer Hotel suite that he's long called home in NYC. He's not going very far, though. He's reportedly renting a 2,500-square-foot apartment a few blocks away at Andre Balazs' Jean Nouvel-designed 40 Mercer Street for $30,000-a-month. The sixth-floor condo comes with three bedrooms, three-and-a-half baths, and at least one cute neighbor, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe. What more could you ask for? Marc's new floorplan after the jump.

Director Jim Jarmusch turns 56 today. Balthazar Getty, actor, heir, and frequent paramour of Sienna Miller, is 34. Diane Lane is turning 44. Neil Bush, the brother of George and Jeb and father of Lauren Bush, is turning 54. Actress Linda Blair is 50. Steven Adler, drummer and Celebrity Rehab fave, is 44. Pop star Willa Ford is turning 28. And DJ Jazzy Jeff (remember him?) turns 44 years old today.

• UBS will make a fourth round of job cuts and is closing several divisions. [BN]
• A class-action lawsuit has been filed against Bank of America for failing to disclose the risks associated with the acquisition of Merrill Lynch. [Reuters]
• More BoA-Merrill trouble: It seems the bank accelerated bonus payments last month so it could hand out the cash before the bank changed hands. [FT]
• The SEC has filed charges against missing hedge funder Arthur Nadal. [NYP]
• Win Bischoff's goodbye email to Citigroup employees. [Deal Journal]
• A record $152 billion was pulled from hedge funds in the fourth quarter. [DB]
• In other bad news, Microsoft is cutting 5,000, Intel is laying off 6,000, and Sony says it lost $2 billion more than expected last year. [WSJ, CNN, BN]

• Hope you're ready to go through it all over again: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis have all agreed to participate in a Sex and the City movie sequel. [Us]
• Graydon Carter should really consider writing a nutrition cookbook: It seems Madonna's secret to eternal youth is the salmon with lentils at the Waverly Inn. [L&S]
• Still more drama from the inaugural festivities in DC earlier this week: Chris Matthews got pissed about having to wait on line, Sharon Stone was annoyed she had to co-host a segment on CNN with D.L. Hughley, and Halle Berry went into panic mode after her dress got caught in an escalator. [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted on a flight doing yoga in the aisle recently. Is this becoming a trend? [Star]
• Charges against Mathias Guerrand-Hermès have been dropped. [NYDN]

Hope you didn't stand in the freezing cold on Tuesday to witness Barack Obama place his hand on the Lincoln Bible and take the oath of office. Thanks to Chief Justice John Roberts' inability to get the 35 words right the first time around, Obama retook the oath at 7:35pm this evening. Right-wing crackpots will undoubtedly be disappointed by Obama's "abundance of caution," although if you were one of the people who was bummed to see Obama don a red tie to take the oath on Tuesday instead of a blue one, well, you now have the photo you were hoping for. [NYDN, NYT]

You weren't "laid off" last week. We'd really appreciate it if you stopped calling it that. It was just a "reduction in force"—you can call it "RIF" for short—and it only happened because certain positions were deemed "redundant," not because the company announced $10 billion in losses last quarter. Also? Please refrain from describing last Friday as a "bloodbath." It was "a day of notification." When are you going to find out about your severance package? Where can you get some cardboard boxes so you can pack up your desk? Glad you asked about that. That will all be covered by the "outplacement representative" at the "orientation session" scheduled for tomorrow. [NYT]

• Jason Wu's reaction to the news Michelle Obama was wearing his white chiffon gown to the inaugural balls? "I just dropped everything and jumped up and down and screamed." [MSNBC, WSJ]
• Simon Doonan was so overjoyed by Michelle's pick of Isabel Toledo yesterday that he "tore down the normal Barneys windows on Madison and put up celebratory Isabel Toledo window installations instead." [Fashionista]
• Best Wu-related fashion headline of the day: "Jason Who?" [NYO]
• Barack Obama may have worn a bullet-resistant suit to the inaugural parade yesterday, in case you were wondering. [NYM]
• Michelle donned a Tracy Feith dress to today's official prayer service. [WWD]
• The official Fashion Week lineup features 73 names, down from more than 80 in September. Also: Kelly Cutrone is discounting prices for designers. [WSJ]
• Sales at Coach are down and the chain's scaling back expansion plans. [AP]
• Are scrunchies making a comeback? [Pipeline]

The Post is reporting that Caroline Kennedy just informed Gov. David Paterson that she is withdrawing her name from consideration to replace Hillary Clinton in the Senate due to "personal reasons." The Post describes the news as "stunning," which may be because the paper said the selection of Kennedy was "certain" just two days ago. But assuming the news is true, you can direct your bottles of congratulatory champagne to Andrew Cuomo at the following address: Office of the Attorney General, The Capitol, Albany, NY 12224-0341. [NYP]