As is our custom on Friday afternoons, we gave a quick call over to Steve Schwarzman to check in and see how he was holding up, especially after this bit of news a couple of weeks ago, which had us as alarmed out as anyone. Alas, we didn't get an answer over at 740 Park, so we thought we'd try him down at the Palm Beach manse. Because if you're not getting paid, might as well head off for a three-day weekend, right? Well, you can imagine how relieved we were when this guy answered. (Click on the video above.) We can't be sure, of course, but it sure sounded like a French guy to us. Steve's famous French chef, perhaps? Quite possibly! Regardless, after a week like this, we're taking this as an encouraging sign that Steve's $3,000 food budgets remain intact and the spending goes on. Which it most certainly has to if we're ever going to get out from this mess.

Lots of companies have been trying to milk the financial crisis and/or stories of corporate fraud for maximum publicity gain. Few, though, have pulled it off as successfully as JetBlue has with its new ad campaign. After the jump, the commercial that debuted earlier this week featuring a sleazy CEO touting flights to "cities where you already own homes or hide money," and service to DC "so you'll never be late to a Congressional hearing."

• Further evidence CNN's Jon Klein should start polishing his resume: The network continues to trail Fox News, MSNBC, and Headline News. [Portfolio]
• Obama's performance on The Tonight Show will keep people talking for awhile (and not in a good way, clearly), but the ratings were huge. [Time, THR]
• The April issue of Portfolio is the slimmest in Condé Nast's history. [NYP]
• Charla Lawhon is stepping down as managing editor of In Style. [WWD]
• Your prayers have been answered: VH1 is reviving Behind the Music. [NYP]
• Bob Pittman says the ad industry should get a bailout, too. [Fortune]
• Fox News's Greta Van Susteren is denying her husband is a paid adviser to Sarah Palin, but she admits that he gives her advice and "helps" her. [HP]
• SpiralFrog, the glitzy music site that launched in 2006, has gone bust. [PC]
• Broadway dimmed the lights last night in honor of Natasha Richardson. [THR]

Proof that Tory Burch's eponymous clothing line has made its decent from Upper East Side chic to middle America bargain bin: It seems she's the designer of choice to Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman, who showed up to a taping of Dr. Phil recently dressed in a $228 TB top and a pair of $195 TB flats. Of course Burch did tell a reporter recently that she wanted to be a "go-to brand for affordable luxury" and a staple of "hugely successful" working moms everywhere. Looks like the mission is well on its way to being accomplished! [TMZ]

Remember when cigars were popular back in the '90s? Good times. It's been nearly a decade since the trend turned to ashes, but a company is now planning to roll out "Mobile Cigar Lounges" which allow 20 people to congregate in an Airstream trailer that resembles that cigar bar you visited in 1997 and never went back to. Supposedly they're designed for private parties, so your guests can step outside for a puff (and, in keeping with the era, perhaps discuss that really funny episode of Friends they saw last night.) But if the mobile cigar lounge concept doesn't catch on in the end, the trailers don't necessarily have to be dropped off at the junk yard. With every woman in town supposedly setting up consignment shops to unload their designer goods, these things may be up and down Fifth Avenue just yet! [MobileCigarLounge.com via Luxist]

That precious image you have of yourself as a unique, discerning, free-thinking individual who's guided by your own particular tastes and idiosyncrasies? Sorry to crush one of the few delusions that makes life worth living, but it's a total fantasy, at least according to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, whose book Stumbling on Happiness insisted that people have no idea what will make them happy. He's now conducted research to prove that, even when it comes to romance, we're better off going by the experience and advice of others, rather than trusting our own minds. And just to lend further authority to the study, it involved speed dating!

When it was revealed in late January that John Thain spent $1.2 million renovating his office at Merrill Lynch in early 2008—back before the global financial meltdown was truly upon us—people were up in arms. Such a stupid move! So tone deaf! When it was reported yesterday that Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit was getting his office redecorated, like, now? Well, it's good thing the news broke when everyone was consumed with the mess over at AIG, huh?

Ruth Madoff better get used to ordering in a lot of take-out, since it doesn't look like she's going to be making it to the grocery store for the foreseeable future. At least not without creating a major fuss. Bernie Madoff's wife ventured out to the Food Emporium on Third Avenue last night, but ended up getting spooked and leaving the store empty-handed after a flock of photographers descended on her. She had to leave her American and Jarlsberg cheese behind, and she never did get to buy the laundry detergent that was at the top of her shopping list. The good news is that she won't have to worry about buying as many groceries now that she'll be shopping for one for the rest of her life. [NYP, NYDN]

Some very unfortunate goings-on in New Jersey are threatening one of the basic human rights—to have hair ripped out of one's cooch with hot wax—of everyone in the state. Following Brazilian-related infections that left two women hospitalized (yes, crossing your legs right now is an entirely natural reaction), leading one of them to sue, the state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling may ban "genital waxing" altogether—creating a situation where desperate Jersey residents, like red state teens seeking abortions, will have to cross state lines if they want to maintain their landing strip. Which, on the bright side, is great news for waxers in Manhattan—not that spatula-wielding Russians need the extra PR!

• Socialite Debbie Bancroft (left) and her husband Billy have dropped the price of their full-floor apartment at 132 East 72nd Street by 15 percent. The home, which was occupied by George Gershwin in the 1930s, is now priced at $1.675 million. [WSJ, BHS]
• Lifestyle guru, celebrity party planner, and Oprah BFF Colin Cowie has paid $4.5 million for two unfinished 1,400-square-foot units at The Emory on West 19th Street. [WSJ]
• Ross Heller, a managing director at NewOak Capital, and his wife Yael, paid $3.75 million for a three-bedroom condo at 60 Beach Street. [Cityfile]

Possibly the most unfortunate name to have at the moment: Bernie Madoff, of course. A man named Bernard Jeffrey Madoff says his phone has been ringing off the hook the last few weeks, calls that have come "at all hours of the day and night," from "people who were either upset or unhinged or both." For the record, though, he doesn't pronounce his name the same way. He goes with MAD-off, not MADE-off. [NYT]

• Yesterday the House approved a 90% tax on bonuses paid to execs at certain firms that received government aid. Now some lawmakers are talking about banning all bonus payments at bailed-out firms. [Reuters]
• It's unclear if the 90% tax will hold up in court. It's also possible it will do more harm than good and ultimately "wreck what's left of our economy." [BI]
• Andrew Cuomo says AIG has provided him with a list of employees who earned bonuses, but he won't release the names until the security situation has been sorted out, which is good news since it's getting a little rough out there what with all the death threats and protests. [AP, NYT, Reuters]
• Just who knew about the AIG bonuses—and when they knew it—is being closely scrutinized, although Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner says he is prepared to accept full responsibility. [NYT, CNN]

Got nothing exciting on the agenda this weekend? A group called Connecticut Working Families is organizing a "field trip" to visit the homes of AIG execs tomorrow. If you can't attend the oh-so-exciting tour of Fairfield in person, you can always join their "AIG Cribs" Facebook group: 43 members and counting! [AIG Bus Trip]

• At long last, Karl Lagerfeld has his very own Ken doll "complete with matching black suit, high white collar, white ponytail, silver leather gloves." The doll-like photo to your left? That's the genuine article. [Racked]
• Either Adele suddenly dropped a ton of weight before her Annie Leibovitz photo shoot or Vogue's art department has been working overtime. [Jezebel]
• French officials are considering a law that would require magazines to disclose the fact they've manipulated a photo. That sound you just heard was Pascal Dangin shudder with disgust. [BI]
• The fashion world has "slowed down and sobered up," but "the recession could turn out to make designers better designers," says Cathy Horyn. [NYT]

You know the bottom is falling out of the economy when social scenesters are forced to turn to petty crime. Paul Johnson-Calderon—professional partygoer, Paper magazine writer, and ex-boyfriend of Peter Davis—apparently walked out of the Eldridge on Wednesday night in possession of a purse belonging to a hostess who worked there. But the whole episode was caught on a security camera, so he was totally busted. Fortunately, he's since borrowed some cash from his parents and paid the woman back, so he's not headed to jail or anything. But it may very well affect the number of events he gets invited to in the future, which for PJC is quite likely a far crueler fate. [Guest of a Guest]

• Who doesn't want to take over Tavern on the Green? A meeting of potential bidders today attracted Alan Stillman, Boathouse owner Dean Poll, Capitale's Seth Greenberg, and reps for Cipriani, Trump, and Meyer. [NYO]
• Minetta Tavern is attracting quite the crowd: Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow were there for dinner last night; Anna Wintour was in the house for lunch. How hard is it to nab a reservation? Not as hard as they'd like you to think. [TFB, GS]
• The good news/bad news about Zak Pelaccio's UWS Fatty Crab. [Eater]
• Ken Friedman is serving $0.99 drinks for the Rusty Knot's 1st bday. [TONY]
• A peek at Keste Pizza & Vino, which opens next week and will be offering classes on how to make authentic pizza. Just $4,000 for 10 sessions! [Eater]
• The owner of the Ollie's chain of Chinese restaurants has been ordered to pay $2.3 million in back pay to workers for violating wage laws. [NYDN]
• Word to the wise: celebrity chefs will make you fat! [NYDN]

Getting crushed by Jon Stewart last week wasn't the end of the bad news for Jim Cramer. Last week, TheStreet.com, the financial news site that Cramer co-founded and continues to oversee as chairman, lost its longtime CEO, Thomas Clarke. Today the company laid off 18 staffers as part of a plan to slash $2.4 million in costs. We'd hate to second-guess Cramer given his rep as all-knowing financial guru, but if the company was really looking to reduce overhead in a hurry, wouldn't it have been easier to have started with Cramer's seven-figure salary? Just a thought! [PaidContent]

It was Charles Rangel, as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, who introduced the legislation today imposing a 90 percent tax on the bonuses paid to execs at bailed-out companies. "These people are getting away with murder," Rangel proclaimed on the House floor earlier today during the debate over the bill. But now the bill has passed and Rangel's work is done and it's time to return home. First-class, baby! Via a tipster who emailed us moments ago: "Charlie Rangel is on the Acela RIGHT NOW in FIRST CLASS. Got up to make sure it was him and it is. I know plenty of congressmen ride first class but it's still annoying." And a tad ironic, too!

Much has been made in recent weeks about TMZ's decision to focus its attention on the financial crisis and corporate misbehavior. When the site revealed that the bank Northern Trust had hosted a golf tournament and a series of splashy parties even after receiving $1.6 billion in taxpayer money, editor Harvey Levin told the Times it was "the most important thing" TMZ had ever done, and one of the site's photographers said that while "Britney is fluff," stories about "Northern Trust, Madoff, and politicians in D.C. really have an impact on the country." It's nice to see TMZ's dedication to hard-hitting investigative journalism continues. Today a TMZ cameraman ambushed Chris Cuomo and Sam Champion outside a juice store near the offices of ABC News did his best to get Champion to utter the world "fruit" on camera. Now they just need to start gay-baiting the sons of disgraced Wall Street execs and they'll get the mix down perfectly. The video of the Cuomo/Champion encounter is after the jump.

Every hotel has a gimmick these days, but the one the Helmsley Hotel is offering up may be the most morbid. In honor of tax season—and the late Leona Helmsley's famous aversion to paying them—the hotel is offering "tax-free" rooms, a promotion that shaves roughly $50 off the $250 room rate. No word on whether the hotel has other Leona-inspired specials in the works, although given all the trouble that Trouble caused, a doggie-friendly deal seems like a natural follow-up. [HotelChatter]