Given the utmost respect in which we hold writerly paragon of humility Plum Sykes, we would never characterize her as a creature capable of striking mortal fear into the heart of any man with the misfortune to behold her in the flesh. But as she herself volunteered at a Diane von Furstenberg cocktail party, being intimidating is a quality she's proud of: "If I want to use my femininity to get something from a man, I'll wear very high heels. Not to arouse him sexually. But I'm so tall—I'm 6ft 2in in heels—that it works a treat." Finally, the mystery of how she sells her writing: solved! [Times UK]

Yes, you can now purchase pillow cases with the names of various "iconic" couples printed on them. They'll run you $112.50, but if you're worried buying the "Lindsay and Sam" set for a friend will suggest you think they're in a really dysfunctional relationship, you may want to consider the "Barack and Michelle" cases instead. [Paper]

• You can rest easier now: Now that he's no longer planning to run for Senate, Chris Matthews has signed a new four-year contract with MSNBC. [NYT]
• Howard Dean has signed on to be a CNBC contributor. [HP]
• Major media companies are now looking for a bailout. From Google. [AdAge]
• Jay Leno's chat with Obama was his fourth most-watched show ever. [LAT]
• Some perks may be curtailed at Condé Nast. Like the one that allowed Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman to fly to Davos first-class, possibly. [NYP]
• Advance Publications is instituting mandatory 10-day furloughs and a pension freeze at nearly all of its daily papers, says Steve Newhouse. [E&P]
• Time publisher Don Fries is headed out the door. [NYP]
• NBC is very good at spinning the Times, in case you haven't noticed. [CJR]
• Knowing starring Nic Cage was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [NYDN]

Opening Bell [Dealbreaker]
AIG starts makeover, changes sign at NY office [Reuters]

Instead of wearing brand new outfits and saying to their husbands, "This old thing? You've seen it a million times," some women are doing the opposite: Savvy wives in need of some financial independence are charging expensive clothes to their husbands and then secretly selling them so they can pocket the cash, a time-honored strategy that was supposedly even utilized by Jackie O when she was married to Aristotle. Joan Lacey, a personal shopper to Wall Street wives, says: "I have one client who specifically buys Hermès Kelly or Birkin bags and the best furs [on her husband's store credit card] and then immediately takes the items—complete with tags—to Encore, where she sells them under her niece's account. And she's not the only one." Isn't it heartwarming to see that marriage remains a sacred institution founded on trust and eternal commitment, even during these scary times?

Lindsay Lohan is having money trouble, at least according to unnamed friends of the starlet who tell the Daily News today that Lindsay is "living on credit right now" since "she has no cash," and is supporting herself thanks to Sam Ronson. Her financial predicament isn't because she's turning down cheesy commercials (as this Italian spot makes clear), or because she has any issue with slapping her name on any number of products, like leggings or spray-on tanner. Just in case that isn't clear, look no further than former nightlife promoter-turned-entertainment marketer Mike Heller, who was profiled over the weekend in amNew York and who has been working with Lohan to "exploit" her "brand."

Gwyneth Paltrow carrying daughter Apple after lunch Da Silvano ... Howard Stern walking home from a workout with his daughter Ashley ... Agyness Deyn getting a drink at Liquiteria on Second Avenue ... Mary-Kate Olsen leaving her apartment in the West Village ... Hugh Jackman riding Razor scooters around the Village with his daughter Ava ... Kristen Johnson walking her dog downtown ... Michelle Williams kissing Spike Jonze on the sidewalk ... and Matthew Broderick walking to his birthday dinner at Gradisca on West 13th with Sarah Jessica Parker and their son James.

The Post reported today that JPMorgan Chase, which collected $25 billion in bailout money last fall, has placed orders for two new Gulfstream 650 jets. The total cost? About $119 million. But ABC News reports that in addition to the cost of the planes, the bank is paying another $18 million to build "the premiere corporate aircraft hangar on the eastern seaboard," a structure that will feature "reclaimed wood, quarry tile and a vegetated roof garden." What, no zen garden? [NYP, ABC, photo]

You may be worrying about losing your job or defaulting on your mortgage, but you can take heart in the fact you're not alone: Dasha Zhukova is right there with you! The 27-year-old gallery owner, magazine editor, socialite, and girfriend of billionaire Roman Abramovich, told reporters at the opening of her Garage gallery in Moscow last week that she's been "as affected by the crisis as anyone else." Unlike everyone else, though, Dasha has no plans to let her financial worries get her down; she remained, says one reporter, "determined not to let the financial crisis get in the way of a good party." Because even if her boyfriend is worth half as much as he was last year, he still has $8.5 billion. And that still leaves plenty of room for an occasional party or art show. "The Garage will go on," she told the guests in attendence. Clearly! [The First Post]

Author Daphne Merkin penned an op-ed piece for the Times yesterday and once again offered up a few thoughts on the scandal concerning her brother, disgraced money manager Ezra Merkin, who steered more than $1.5 billion to Bernie Madoff and who has since been forced to shut down his funds amid half a dozen lawsuits. This time, though, Daphne attaches a disclaimer to her piece, albeit one that might strike any rational person as a touch inadequate: "I did not know Mr. Madoff nor did I invest with his firm, but have a sibling who did business with him." Did business indeed! But that's not the only bizarre bit.

Take two deeply unfortunate but unrelated situations—the recession is making people spend less on cosmetic surgery and Dr. Drew Pinsky has a book to plug—and you have the basic ingredients for the Daily News' marginally convincing state-of-the-nation argument today: that America has abandoned its obsession with beauty, glamour, and celebrities in favor of "what's important."

• Hedge funder Scott Bommer and his wife Donya have lowered the price of their 29th-floor apartment at the Ritz-Carlton, which they purchased for $28.5 million last July and put on the market for $35 million in November. It's now listed at $29.75 mil. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• Jeff Koons has closed on the purchase of a six-story townhouse at 11 East 67th Street for $12 million, two years after he first went into contract. [NYP]
• Loews heiress Laurie Tisch—daughter Bob and Joan, sister of Jonathan and Steve—paid $29 million for a 13th-floor apartment at 834 Fifth Avenue. Her new upstairs neighbor? Rupert Murdoch. [NYO, previously]
• Former Lehman exec Jack Rivkin has put his 7,000-square-foot home off Further Lane in Amagansett on the market for $31 million. [Newsday, Sotheby's]

Keri Russell turns 33 today. Kenneth Cole turns 55. Chef Tom Valenti is 50. Author Jonathan Ames is 45. Ex-con shoe mogul Steve Madden turns 52. Real estate broker Leslie Garfield turns 77. Actress Catherine Keener is 50. Disgraced ex-Times reporter Jayson Blair is 33. Chaka Khan is turning 56. Actress Michelle Monaghan is turning 33. Perez Hilton is 31. Ric Ocasek of The Cars is 60. Princess Eugenie, the daughter of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew, is turning 19. And John Bobbitt—remember him?—turns 42 today.

• Tim Geithner has unveiled his latest plan to deal with the financial crisis. This one involves a partnership between the government and private investors, and could eventually involve buying up to $1 trillion in toxic assets from banks, although it isn't generating unanimous support. "It fills me with a sense of despair," says the Times's Paul Krugman. [WSJ, NYT, BN, NYT]
• New documents over the weekend indicate AIG paid out $218 million in bonuses, more than the previously disclosed $165 million. [Reuters]
• Here's another way to look at the AIG mess: If those bonuses hadn't been paid, the U.S. government may have had $1.7 trillion to worry about. [NYP]
• That trip to AIG on Saturday? Lots of reporters, many fewer protesters. [AP]
• Obama reiterated his support for Geithner on 60 Minutes. [Dealbreaker]

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• Today in silly celebrity brand extensions: Kim Kardashian has a "budget-friendly shoe club," Avril Lavigne's first scent debuts this summer, and Nicole Richie's new jewelry line sold out before it even arrived in stores. [SW, WWD, SW]
• Several racks of clothing have already materialized at Topshop! [Racked]
• Calvin Klein made a cameo on 30 Rock last night. [Fashionologie]
• Michelle Obama is the new Carrie Bradshaw, says Isaac Mizrahi. [MB]
• Have you ever wished that Joe Zee would finally document every food item he consumed over the course of the week? You're in luck. [NYM]
• Don't bother asking Michael Bloomberg about his fave footwear. Ask him about his shoes and he'll tell you they're "probably Paul Stuart," but he's "had them a long time," so he really has "no idea." [FN]

• Michelle Obama started digging up part of the South Lawn of the White House today to plant a vegetable garden. In case you ever have to prepare a salad for the president, be advised that Barack is not down beets. [NYT]
• It's official: Per Se is introducing an à la carte menu on Wednesday. [NYT]
• Pichet Ong is closing P'ong and Batch in the West Village. [Eater, GS]
• Trends Frank Bruni has noticed: trotters, little fried birds, cheap wine. [NYT]
• One trend Grub Street has seen all over the place: bone marrow. [GS]
• A few tips on how to handle a really bad waiter. [Bon Appétit]
• The world's oldest bottle of champagne was opened this week. [TimesUK]
• The Journal has a peek inside JGV's weekend home in Westchester. [WSJ]
• Good news: Antonio Banderas is now producing wine. [Decanter]

Just days before Bernie Madoff was arrested, a Bronx businessman named Martin Rosenman handed over $10 million of his family's money to the now-imprisoned financier's investment firm. Terrible timing, no doubt, but Rosenman quickly argued that he hadn't actually intended to have Madoff invest the cash until the following month, so he was entitled to get his money back pronto, and shouldn't be treated like the thousands of shlubs who'd fallen victim to Madoff months or years earlier. A federal judge ruled against Rosenman in February and instructed him to take his place in line with everyone else, thank you very much. But it seems Rosenman isn't taking no for an answer. Today he filed notice that he intends to appeal the ruling. Best of luck with that, Marty—you'll need it. The court papers are below.

Remember how New Jersey's Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling was thinking about banning Brazilian waxes for health reasons? Jersey girls no longer have to worry about having to pass through the Lincoln Tunnel to prepare for the summer season. The state reversed course today after salon owners "complained about losing business ahead of swimsuit season." Take the good news where you can get it, folks. [NYP, previously]

Cocktail Recipes for the Recession [New Yorker]
Previously: Recession-Appropriate Drinks: Strong Ones [Cityfile]