In a deposition for his $10 million suit against American Apparel, Woody Allen described the clothing company's ads today as "sleazy," "adolescent" and "infantile." Yes, this would be the same Woody Allen who sleazily started an affair with his quasi-stepdaughter, who was an adolescent at the time. But at least he'll have something to talk about at his next session with his psychoanalyst. [NYP]
As part of the media's professionally-mandated obligation to scrutinize and pass judgment on every last detail of Michelle Obama's fashion choices, make-up, and comportment, we're now down to her eyelashes. Or, in fact, not her eyelashes but a rather splendid pair of falsies, which an eagle-eyed journalist breathlessly describes as "full-on, all-out diva lashes, the kind you normally find on D-list celebrities or in drag-act dressing rooms." The same pearl necklace with different outfits, but flawlessly-applied fake eyelashes: exactly the kind of prioritizing we can all learn from!
A very futuristic-looking Matthew Broderick climbing on his scooter outside his West Village townhouse ... Larry King walking on the Upper West Side ... Minnie Driver carrying a cup of coffee in the Village ... Angelina Jolie filming scenes for her new movie on Staten Island ... Jennifer Aniston covering up her face on the way out of her hotel ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon leaving their apartment en route to the airport ... Miley Cyrus walking on Madison Avenue with her sister ... Early Show weatherman Dave Price arriving at JFK ... Juliette Lewis walking by herself ... Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria leaving their hotel ... David Duchovny taking his daughter to the dentist ... and Naomi Watts sitting on a bench on the set of her new movie in Brooklyn.
Celebrity psychic Judi Hoffman says she predicted Angelina Jolie's twins, Lindsay Lohan's "secret other lover," and Eliot Spitzer's downfall. Now she's batting cancer and has been given a less than 10 percent chance of survival. But she isn't letting a trivial matter like that get in the way of business: "The Upper East Side clairvoyant is promising to answer the eternal life-after-death question, if and when she goes." [NYO]
The Four Seasons celebrates its 50th anniversary this spring and Vanity Fair marks the big occasion in the May issue with a "class photo," a collection of "some of the people who have long listed it on expense reports."
Being half of a celebrity twosome has its perks, not least of which is starpower greater than the sum of its parts. But there are certain rules that should be observed. Do not, under any circumstances, appear in a treacly magazine spread rhapsodizing about your love, or you will be broken up within a month. And please, resist the temptation to get matching tattoos, especially each other's names, as history has taught us that even the most inspiring and rock-solid romantic unions—Lindsay & Sam! Chris and Rihanna! Britney & K-Fed!—cannot survive the curse of the matching ink.
When Mort Zuckerman first revealed that he'd lost a bundle to Bernie Madoff via money manager Ezra Merkin, he seemed to brush it off, suggesting he'd only entrusted a small part of his charitable trust to Merkin. A few days ago, he revealed that it wasn't just his charitable foundation that fell victim; he lost $15 million of his own money, too. But the scandal may have cost him a good friend as well. Zuckerman's lawsuit, which you can view below, says Zuckerman had forged "a close relationship" with Merkin up until news of the scheme came to light.
• Former Morgan Stanley vice chairman Bruce Fiedorek has "quietly" put his fifth-floor co-op at 998 Fifth Avenue on the market for around $45 million. The 7,000-square-foot apartment, which was renovated by Stephen Sills and James Huniford and is one floor up from Len Blavatnik, is being listed by Kathy Sloane. [NYO]
• The sixth-floor co-op at 960 Park Avenue that belonged to the late Baroness Jacqueline de Gunzburg has gone into contract. It had been on the market most recently for $10.95 million. [Cityfile, Stribling]
Fox plans to make this whole layoff/recession thing into one big reality contest. Classy! "The show's working title is Someone's Gotta Go. Employees are called to a meeting and informed there will be layoffs, but with a reality show twist: The staff will be allowed to determine who is fired... It's the anti-Apprentice: Instead of contestants vying for a dream job, they're fighting to keep the lousy one they already have." [THR]
Designer Vivienne Westwood turns 68 today. Patricia Arquette is turning 41. Robin Wright Penn is 43. Legendary journalist and New Yorker contributor Sy Hersh is turning 72. Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan is 71. Former State Senator Joe Bruno is 80. Disgraced ex-congressman Tom DeLay is turning 62. Betty Ford is 91. Julian Lennon turns 46. The rapper Biz Markie is 45. Rich Dad, Poor Dad author Robert Kiyosaki is 62. And Richard Hatch, the first winner of Survivor who is currently in prison for tax evasion, is 48 today.
• Paris Hilton is getting married! Well, sort of. America's original celebutard told reporters that boyfriend Doug Reinhardt is "going to be my husband," and now friends say they're planning a summer wedding in the Bahamas. These two are going to be together forever, just you wait and see. [E!]
• The Lindsay Lohan-Sam Ronson trainwreck rolls on: Ronson seems to have changed her mind and decided she no longer wants a restraining order; LiLo says she's "devastated" by the breakup and that everyone has turned on her. Now Lohan's friends say they're worried she's suicidal. [People, Us, TMZ]
• You didn't expect Michael Lohan to pass up a PR opportunity, did you? He says he's cleared his schedule and put aside his "numerous commitments" to help Lindsay through this crisis. [OK!]
• Madonna isn't taking her legal defeat in Malawi very well: Not only did she send her kids to stay with Guy Ritchie so she could "drown her sorrows" with Stella McCartney, she wore an "uncharacteristically mumsy outfit," too, which can't possibly be a good sign. [Sun, DM]
• The Treasury is expected to announce in the next few days that it will be extending bailout funds to a handful of life insurance companies. [WSJ]
• Brian Moynihan, who took over Merrill Lynch after John Thain was ousted, is emerging as a potential successor to Bank of America chief Ken Lewis. [WSJ]
• Not that Lewis necessarily needs to be replaced, at least according to Meredith Whitney, who (bizarrely) says Lewis has "done a great job." [BN]
• Blackstone, KKR, and Carlyle are in the running to acquire the mobile phone operations that Verizon Wireless is selling now that it's acquired Alltel. [BN]
• Looks like Jim Cramer has a new enemy. Nouriel Roubini is calling the CNBC star "a buffoon," and Cramer has since responded in kind, of course. [NYP]
If you're planning to spend the summer on Martha's Vineyard, your vacation may turn out to be a bit less peaceful this year. WWD reports that the Obamas are thinking about visiting the isle for a little R&R this summer: "Secret Service agents have been spotted casing Martha's Vineyard for what is said to be a late-August two-week getaway. The First Family's destination is believed to be East Chop, the sleepier side of Oak Bluffs." So when you see helicopters in the sky, paparazzi hanging out on the beach, and the occasional motorcade streak through Edgartown, now you know why. [WWD]
• How much did Topshop's insane publicity blitz cost the company? Let's just say a lot. [FWD]
• It looks like Anne Hathaway won't be Marc Jacobs's next muse after all. "Marc and Annie are good friends, but there are no plans of her appearing in our ads," says the designer's rep. [SW]
• Good news, Roberto Cavalli fans: It seems Just Cavalli won't be disappearing after all. [NYM]
• Gisele wore a John Galliano gown to her bullet-riddled wedding last weekend, just in case you were wondering. [SW]
• For the second time in a week (and despite a bit of backlash the first time around) Oscar de la Renta is still complaining about Michelle Obama's fashion preferences. [WWD, Fashionologie]
• A sneak peak at Marea, the buzzed-about seafood restaurant from Michael White and Chris Cannon that's scheduled to open in early May. [GS]
• Craft's Damon Wise will be offering his frugal menu six days a week. [Eater]
• Photos of the steakhouse that is coming soon to the Standard NYC. [HC]
• Restaurant Girl on Inakaya: It's "touristy" but "the food's excellent." [NYDN]
• Top Chef Masters, the spinoff to Top Chef, debuts June 10. [Eater]
• Kogi, the Korean BBQ/taco truck popular in LA, may be NYC-bound. [Zagat]
• Obama Fried Chicken in Brooklyn will not be defeated. The fast food place with the controversial name is bravely refusing to change its name. [AMNY]
Alex McCord is still unemployed and still blogging over at the Huffington Post. But now she has some bad news to share: It seems she's come down with a nasty case of Fifth's Disease, which has resulted in a dreadful rash that runs up and down her legs. How unfortunate! In other McCord news, her neighbor was terribly nasty to her two sons and she also thinks there may be a rudeness epidemic exploding across the city, but that's probably just McCord generalizing based on personal experience. [HuffPo]
New York is facing an unprecedented $4 billion budget deficit. Who will rescue us from the ruin? The gays! The city kicked off an new ad campaign today designed to attract gay tourists to New York City. The $1.9 million marketing effort, which features the tag line "Join the rainbow pilgrimage," hopes to position a visit to NYC as a "rite of passage," a message that if the city truly took to heart would involve a night out at The Cock, not reduced rates at the Sheraton and discounted tickets to Phantom of the Opera and Madame Tussauds' wax museum. But, hey, the gays sure do love a recession, so it's worth a shot. [AP, Crain's]
