What do you do when you're a celebrity trainer who can't find clients willing to pony up $900 a month to join your new downtown gym? Head to the Marriott Marquis, apparently. Tracy Anderson, the woman who takes credit for Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow's buff bods and Scarlett Johansson's newly svelte frame, will be holding two classes there this month, charging $200 for a three-hour workout and one-hour Q&A session. Anderson isn't promising any of her famous clients will show up, but that probably won't deter any of the people staying at the hotel, who likely booked the Marriott Marquis because they were under the impression they'd be situated in the hottest nabe in NYC. [NYO]

Olivia Palermo's fake career in fashion has yet to teach her much about men's clothing. At least according to Johannes Huebl, Olivia's award-winning model boyfriend, who says that while Olivia's style is "pretty good," her fashion expertise is limited to "women's only." You can expect Olivia to dig a stiletto into Huebl's neck later this evening for expressing doubt in her omniscience, not that this revelation will prevent her from taking full credit for every outfit Huebl wears as long as they're together. [What He Wears]

• Boston Globe staffers are still reacting to the news that the New York Times Co. may shutter the paper in 30 days if certain pay concessions aren't met. The paper announced it plans to raise newsstand prices, and a small group of staffers staged a rally last night in support of the paper. [E&P, WCVB]
• Peter Bart is denying claims he was ousted as Variety's editor. [NYT]
• The AP says that sites that use the company's content will have to obtain permission and share revenue with them, or they'll face "legal action." [NYT]
• Keith Olbermann aired a eulogy for his mom on last night's show. [HP]
• For his part, O'Reilly wasn't too cool with pics of two men kissing. [Gawker]
• Thomson Reuters chief Tom Glocer riffs on the future of the Times. [NYO]
• You can now watch NBC while sitting on PATH trains. Thrilling! [MW]
• Even more thrilling: Playboy has launched its redesigned website. [BR, Folio]

You may blush at the contents of Gloria Vanderbilt's forthcoming book, Obsession: An Erotic Tale, but Anderson Cooper isn't expressing any embarrassment. The CNN anchor says he's totally supportive of his mom's new tome, since "at 85, whatever she wants to write is fine by me." How sweet! Of course, he may just be relieved that the attention paid to his mom's private life is finally taking a little bit of focus off of his own. [NYP]

Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein addressed the Council of Institutional Investors this morning and addressed the issue of how banks pay their employees, suggesting that Wall Street "apply basic standards to how we compensate people in our industry." (It's unclear if these "standards" would apply to Blankfein personally, who earned nearly $70 million in 2007 and $43 million in 2008.) But you have to give him points for the warm welcome he gave the ladies from Code Pink, who rushed the stage during his speech with a giant sign that said "We want our $$$$$ back."

One more reason to be totally paranoid about opening strange emails or clicking on random links: You might be inviting someone to literally spy on you through your webcam, which comes standard on most computers nowadays and can be activated by malware that's "a total triviality" to write. Of course, teenage girls are the most likely target for pervy cyberpeepers, but if your stalker ex displays inexplicable knowledge of your nice new pajamas, you might want to cover your camlens with tape. Just to be on the safe side. [Slate]

General Motors is looking to restore confidence by demonstrating it has a "vision" for the vehicle of the future. This reinvention of the power scooter/golf cart in collaboration with Segway should do the trick, no? [WSJ]

For many people, the silver lining of getting laid off would be the freedom from getting up early, putting on a suit, and sitting on a crowded subway for half an hour at 8am every morning. Some strange individuals, however, continue with this whole routine even when they don't have an office to go to. Even stranger, this sort of a charade is not necessarily carried out to hide the shame of unemployment from a spouse or children, but as a kind of morale-maintaining exercise.

Jon Stewart jogging across the street with his son ... Sienna Miller arriving at JFK ... Kiefer Sutherland walking in the West Village with his girlfriend ... Taylor Momsen going to church with her mother and sister ... Katie Lee Joel taking her dog for a walk in the Village ... Michelle Williams pushing daughter Matilda in a stroller ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking in the rain in the West Village with son James ... Hilary Duff and Mariska Hargitay hanging out on the set of Law & Order: SVU ... Sheryl Crow carrying her son Wyatt in a car seat ... and Sean Penn walking around on the set of his new movie Fair Game in Brooklyn.

Andrew Luan worked at Deutsche Bank until recently. When he didn't get paid a bonus, he quit his job, but he didn't plan on spending the next six months in the company of his Wii, waiting around for the job market to improve. Luan launched a "financial meltdown tour" this week, "guiding packs of mostly European tourists around the epicenter of the collapse—and explaining his own role in the crisis along the way." (He was a CDO trader at Deutsche Bank where he says he shorted collateralized mortgage-backed securities.) Sounds like time and money well spent: "For only $40, he'll show you the word integrity engraved on the front of the New York Stock Exchange—and tell you about his all-male bond-trading desk's workplace push-up contests." [The Big Money]

Art just isn't what it used to be. According to the Mei Moses index released today, art prices fell 35 percent during the first quarter of 2009, which means Steve Cohen's ten-figure collection is now worth a much more modest $650 million. [FT]

Are you by any chance feeling overwhelmed, anxious about various annoying tasks, perhaps sorely tempted to go and strangle the guy two desks over who's talking too loudly on the phone? You're not alone: A survey has identified 11:45 on a Tuesday morning as the most stressful time of the working week, when we pay for slacking off on Monday, realize we're going to have to work through lunch, and are consumed with dread for the rest of the week. So just take some deep breaths and go eat a candy bar/smoke a cigarette/swallow a Xanax.

• It took a year and a half and three price cuts, but the triplex penthouse at 895 Park that belonged to the late fashion mogul and film producer Charles Evans has gone into contract. The four-bedroom spread, which first went up for sale for $29.5 million in October 2007, had most recently been listed at $15.5 million. [Cityfile, Stribling]
• Mortgage exec Steve Schnall and wife Sherri have dropped the price of their 11,300-square-foot townhouse at 2 North Moore Street, which set a record for Tribeca when it was put up for sale for $35 million a year ago. It's now available for the slightly reduced price of $33 million. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• Donald Trump's son Eric paid $540,000 for the 14th-floor apartment next door to the one he already owns at 100 Central Park South. [Real Deal]
• Diane Keaton has cut $1 million off the price of her Beverly Hills home, which she originally put on the market in March for $12.995 million. [Luxist, WEA]

Former Giants star turned Today show commentator Tiki Barber and his twin brother Ronde turn 34 today. Russell Crowe is 45. Nightlife impresario Jason Strauss is turning 35. Francis Ford Coppola is 70. John Oates of Hall & Oates is 60. Michael Dorf, the founder of the Knitting Factory and City Winery, is 47. Islanders head coach Ted Nolan is 51. Renowned French chef Joel Robuchon is 64. British journalist Sir David Frost is turning 70. Bill Bellamy is turning 44. And Jackie Chan celebrates his 55th birthday today.

• Is it finally over between Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson? Her mom and sister certainly hope so: The two were spotted with Sam at a police station yesterday to "look into filing a restraining order" against Lindsay, although LiLo appears to still be in denial, telling E! that they're just taking a "brief break." [Us, E!]
• Madonna was crushed to learn her adoption petition had been rejected by a judge in Malawi—"I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind"—but baby Mercy's uncle is now supporting her appeal, for whatever that's worth. [MSNBC, Sun]
• CNN's Campbell Brown had a baby boy yesterday. [HuffPo]
• Who does Scarlett Johansson have to thank for her new bod? Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently, since she reportedly introduced Scarlett to her trainer Tracy Anderson who put her on a "rigid diet." [Sun]

• A half-dozen bidders have emerged for AIG's asset management unit, although efforts to sell it have been "complicated," not surprisingly. [WSJ]
• Congressman Dennis Kucinich has asked the SEC to determine if Bank of America violated the law by not disclosing Merrill Lynch's bonus plan. [DB]
• GM is speeding up preparations for a possible bankruptcy filing. [BN]
• Quadrangle Group has halted fundraising for its next fund. [Crains]
• The Tokyo office of Merrill Lynch Global Private Equity has been closed. [DB]
• RBS may eliminate an additional 9,000 jobs. [BN]
• It's never been a better time for a hostile takeover. [NYP]
• What's Hank Paulson doing with his money these days? He's backing his son's effort to bring Major League Soccer to Portland, Oregon, that's what. [BN]

Ruth Madoff took a little break from her busy shopping routine to visit her husband yesterday for the first time since he was locked up three weeks ago. But what's with the $5 cheapo umbrella she was carrying? Looks like she forgot a thing or two when she stopped at Neiman Marcus last week. [NYDN]

• Is Anne Hathaway going to replace Victoria Beckham as Marc Jacobs' latest muse? That's the rumor, at least. [Daily Mail]
• One more rumor: It's said Olivier Theyskens may be taking over at Halston. [Hint]
• It's not all bad news on Madison Avenue: Jil Sander and Nanette Lepore both have stores opening in the next few months. [FWD]
• Lindsay Lohan's latest brand extension? A line of panty hose, naturally. [WWD]
• Barneys is getting a small (but much-needed) infusion of cash. [NYP]
• Filene's Basement is not bankrupt. Not yet, at least. [NYP]
• Jessica Joffe goes topless for Katy Rodriguez. [Pipeline]
• The Cut has the list of every piece of clothing Michelle Obama wore on her trip overseas. And it includes the Alaïa cardigan that she wore twice. [NYM]

• It's not just high-end restaurants suffering due to the recession. Take a moment to think a good thought for Applebee's in Times Square. [NYT]
• NYMag's Adam Platt visits La Fonda del Sol, giving it one star for Josh DeChellis's "inherent talent" and another for its tapas. [NYM]
• Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar now has a reservations line. [NYT]
• The secret to Marquee's longevity, at least according to a Harvard Business School case study on the subject. [NYP]
• Jimmy Fallon took to Twitter after getting kicked out of Posto. [Slice via GS]
• Good World has closed its doors. [BoweryBoogie]
• A sushi spot in Midtown has a new roll: the Natalie Portman. [ML]
• Kate Moss may have a cookbook in the works. [Mirror]

ABC News caught up with financier Allen Stanford, an interview that will be broadcast on World News with Charlie Gibson this evening. You can see part of the chat online, though: Watch along as Stanford weeps at his current predicament and then threatens to punch interviewer Brian Ross in the mouth for having the nerve to ask Stanford if he was operating a big Ponzi scheme. [ABC News]