Despite the increase in ratings Britney Spears' guest appearance brought to How I Met Your Mother, unicorn-loving star Neil Patrick Harris wasn't pleased with the producers' stunt casting plans. And he's not afraid to say so. The shoe fairy is so confident in the allegedly in-danger-of-being-canceled show's content that he's intent on maintaining the show's integrity based on content alone, sans tabloid names to keep it afloat. As he told the AP this week:

Just as the Britney Spears Comeback Tour was picking up fuel with that promising role on HIMYM and a temporary absence from the tabloids, it appears that Spears may be regressing. The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney and her recently reunited manager Larry Rudolph are shopping around a reality show that would look, talk and walk far different from Chaotic: no K. Fed, two babies to feed, and no one to drug her and prompt intelligent conversation:

• Actress Jessica Alba did something nice for a sick girl, and if you focus on the pictures and edit out the exclamation points in the copy, the story is kind of sweet. (That's just... I got something in my eye, is all. Shut up.) [Star]

Teabagging musician Moby has announced that he wants to marry Britney Spears. It's a revelation that comes a year too late in our opinion. (Can you imagine the bald wedding photos and horrible double-header jokes on Leno?) "She's like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure," he tells The Sun. "The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat."

Britney Spears, the living embodiment of Slimer from Ghostbusters, was very moved by last night's Idol Gives Back. She donated $25,000 to aid malaria relief in Africa: "She didn't know much about the disease, so she Googled it. She was horrified to realize kids were dying from mosquito bites. So she went online and donated after getting [her dad] Jamie's permission. She used her Amex." [Showbiz Spy]

Major names like Britney Spears and Demi Moore have memorably posed for controversial pregnancy pictures in the past, but something tells us Tori Spelling's decision to bare her knocked up belly won't stir up quite as many arguments. It's pretty simple: we don't want. While shooting her (yes, it still exists) B&B reality show with hubby Dean McDermott, the unlucky quasi-heiress made a sad attempt to imitate Demi's Annie Leibowitz shoot for Vanity Fair and Britney's uber-styled photos in Harper's Bazaar. Unfortunately, the results look more like what you'd expect from your local mall photographer as opposed to the star treatment given to glossy cover-worthy celebrities of yore. A closer look, plus Tori's explanation of why she's Loving! Her! Body! after the jump.

When it comes to Britney Spears' hard knocks and how she should fix 'em, everybody seems to have an opinion. (Ours is that she might want to consider a lovely little vacation in Kentwood, where there are plenty of doctors and no paparazzi). But rarely have the celebs offering their support come across as even more insane than Britney herself. Cue Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell.

• Rob Lowe sued two former nannies and a former chef after saying one nanny tried to extort $1.5 million from him. The nanny basically accused the movie and TV star of hitting on her, while Lowe denied it and said the nanny was stalky. The second nanny supposedly plotted to spread lies of some sort about Lowe and his wife. The chef allegedly stole drugs from the medicine cabinet and had sex in Lowe's bed. You know, there may be a remote possibility that Lowe is a poor judge of character. [People]

Just as we were about to laugh a little bit at Juno Lynn Spears' decision to spend her 17th birthday at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant and going on a shopping spree at Wal-Mart, we remembered back to our 17th birthday and stopped laughing. We were in college, in suburbia, and spent the day in class, then at some chain restaurant with our boyfriend, and probably at the movies in the mall. How quickly we forget that Jamie Lynn is still just a kid! Just because she's grown up before our eyes and starred in a hit show and, well, gotten pregnant, doesn't mean the girl shouldn't abandon her awkward late teen years and all the mall-filled nights that go with them. More details on our favorite real-life Juno and her day of kicking "16 And Pregnant!!!" headlines to the curb, after the jump.

As Dolly Parton famously said, "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap." But after learning what Kevin Federline spent most of his money on last year, that catchphrase now has an even more deserving owner. As Us reports, credit card bills recently released by an LA court reveal what K. Fed spends a good chunk of those Britney-given child support payments on: strippers, Las Vegas hotel rooms and plenty of bottle service at flashy nightclubs. The silver lining? When the strippers do their job well, Federline is a generous tipper:

Should Britney have skipped that whole "comeback" disaster at the MTV Video Music Awards and just headed straight to television? TV Guide is reporting today that Spears is "in talks" to reprise her role as a dermatologist's secretary in love with Josh Radnor's character on How I Met Your Mother, due to critical approval and a dramatic increase in the show's ratings that night. Yahoo reports that the allegedly sinking show drew in 10.6 million viewers tuning in to Britney's episode, compared to the average 7.8 million average for the season. Paired with reports that Brit has reunited with her former manager Larry Rudolph, it looks as though her Comeback Tour has finally been given some fuel, albeit slightly later than scheduled...

• Blogger Perez Hilton is claiming he made out with a bisexual John Mayer. This disturbing visual comes a few days after singer Mayer posted a long rambling thing to his blog "about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog... who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man." [Perez] (Photo via Perez)

There's some good news and bad news to report regarding Juno Lynn Spears' wedding plans and, in standard fashion, we'll present the bad news first: Jamie Lynn will apparently not be getting hitched, nor moving back to, LA. Sorry to disappoint any of you who adore the sounds of helicopters circling 'round and 'round your neighborhood daily, or the great fun of late-night gurney trips the young mother will no doubt be taking over the next few years. The good news? Jamie Lynn's gonna look hot in her wedding dress! More details on what her trailertastic plan is to ensure she looks "beautiful" walking down the aisle after the jump.

Britney Spears' latest bodyguard/driver suffered a panic attack while attempting to escort the pop star from a clothing boutique, presumably somewhere just off Robertson. Looking at the locust-like media swarm, it was reported that the bodyguard said, "Game Over, Man" multiple times before climbing across Spears' lap to get into the driver's seat.

• Probably trying to dispel rumors she's about to divorce Guy Ritchie, and also drum up more publicity for her new album, Madonna overshared about her sex life to magazine Elle, saying screwing Ritchie is "amazing," even though both husband and wife sleep with BlackBerrys under their pillows. Elle pics are here. (Photo: Vanity Fair via Daily Mail)

• Britney Spears dug deep into her rolodex and found the last manager she had who was not totally insane. Turns out it was the one who discovered the singer. And who she told off while going crazy. Woops. [OK!] (Photo: X17)

On an unsupervised field trip, Britney Spears quickly revert to her old ways again. After aimlessly driving around Eagle Rock for what seemed to be hours, Spears unable to find a convenience store or a gas station, ran to the nearest set of bushes to take care of some necessary business.

Judging by some of the odder items featured on Juno Lynn Spears' alleged baby registry, it seems as though the 16 year-old is hopeful that her precious little one will turn out to be another Spears family cash cow. As People revealed this morning, Jamie Lynn drove over 80 miles from her home in Kentwood to register her bundle of joy at Babies R Us (we're guessing the internet must've been down in Kentwood?). Listed among necessities like strollers and baby monitors priced at $199, the mommy-to-be has picked out some jazzy presents designed to jump start an infant's road to insta-stardom, which will likely come via a role on some Nickelodeon song-and-dance show. See the full list, including the Idol-in-training items, after the jump.

• Heath Ledger may have a love child in Australia, the late actor's uncle said, which would mean he has two children. Isn't that straight out of Lost? I mean, except for the part about Heath fathering the child while 17 and still in grammar school with a woman eight years older who already had a boyfriend. [Daily Telegraph via HollyScoop]

Sometimes, two seemingly mismatched things from disparate backgrounds and decades can come together in unlikely harmony. Just tap Catherine Zeta-Jones on the shoulder the next time you spot her sucking face with Michael Douglas and ask her. Or, alternately, you can watch the video above: