Not a day goes by without a dozen blind items stirring up rumors about the newest Hollywood heroin addict or closeted anchor with sex swings in his office, but there is one very rare kind of bold face name-less rumor that catches our eye. And it has to do with "celebrity dads," "piercings," and "nether regions." As the NY Post Just Asks this morning:
Britney's broke! Britney's broke! Well, OK not broke, but she did spend an estimated 61 million clams last year. Between rehab, legal expenses, wig refurbishments, that plane she had fly over her house and drop Necco wafers, her three ocelots, those two kids she bought, maintaining Walt Disney's frozen head, and all those stilt-walking lessons, she's been blowing a ton (heh) while not making anything. Remember her last album, Blackout (do you get the joke that I just made)? If she'd gone on tour with that puppy, she could have made something like 50 million bones. But she was out of shape and wandering around saying "the loons! the loons!" so it didn't happen. The real point of this, though, is that she still has roughly $40 million left and that this "$61 million" figure comes from some accountant in Los Angeles who has no affiliation with Ms. Spears. No one will truly know how much she's worth until they foreclose on her house and repo men come to take away her solid gold NordicTrack. [In Touch via Radar]
· We think we have a worthy successor to the Star Wars Holiday Special for the most blasphemous use of the property, like, ever. That said, that Darth Banker's a hard-ass, isn't he? $49,000? But there's five large amounts still left in play—including the million! [Deal or No Deal]
· "Organizers of a major California music festival are offering a $10,000 reward and four festival tickets for life in exchange for ex-Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters' two-story inflatable pig." [Reuters]
· David Blaine will try to break the 17-minute world record for breath holding on The Oprah Winfrey Show, which is fine and all, but it's no Criss Angel mindfreaking her brains out. [AP]
· Her new six-hour-a-day workout regimen sometimes requires that Britney Spears walk around the gym wearing nothing but a towel. [Daily Mail]
· Paramount takes a heavy swig of the Blu-Ray Kool-Aid (which, oddly enough, tastes like raspberry with a slightly bitter after-taste). [THR]
We're so confused. An extra day's digestion of the Miley Cyrus/Vanity Fair photo "scandal" hasn't cleared much up for us in the way of morals, betrayals, exploitations and career management of the young Hannah Montana star, but the public meltdown has alerted us to a more basic truth that is helping guide us through the fog of outrage. This isn't about Miley Cyrus without a shirt on or if she's been seen somewhere in her lingerie, or if her father dropped the ball.
For years, people have wondered what it would take for the public finally to lose interest in that tediously troubled singer, Britney Spears. And now we have an answer: an even younger starlet, 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, who has so much more innocence yet to squander. Even before "artistic" semi-naked photos of the Hannah Montana actress hit the web, her name was more often searched on Google than Britney's.
When it comes to celebrity couples making out in public, you'd think all those beautiful people would know how to make a kiss look hot. They manage to do it on-screen with complete strangers, and frankly, a large part of their job is to hook up take after take and make it still look steamy and unrehearsed, right? But as our slideshow-happy friends at Us have shown us, stars are seriously lacking in the hot and heavy PDA department. While some couples (Drew Barrymore and Justin Long) are downright sweet, and some are disturbingly turning us on at such an early hour (Enrique and Anna Kournikova, natch), we'd like to officially ban any future photos of a select few couples getting down and dirty ever again. The good, the bad, and the nauseating, after the jump:
The internets are ablaze with the controversial question that has come to define our era: Will Britney Spears be the next spokesperson for Bally's Fitness? The rumors started this month, with appropriate denials from the company, Ever since the LA Times broached the topic last week by noting all the time Britney's been spending at the gym with her two trainers, the celebroblogosphere has been on permanent Bally's watch. The company claims they're just helping her get into shape out of concern for her health. And let's hope so. Can you imagine the escape clauses that would have to go into a spokesperson contract with the mentally unstable pop tart?
We're beginning to think that Larry Rudolph may truly be the master of spinning scandals into gold. Ever since reuniting with her former stardom wizard, Britney Spears has gone from umbrella-swinging, gurney-riding American Tragedy to a slimmed down working girl with vastly improved extensions to boot. Rudolph's latest strategy has been sending Spears to the gym to shed any leftover pounds from her previous diet of lollipops and Cheetos, in addition to making damn well sure she treks to the recording studio. But the news isn't all sunshine and rainbows: it seems tension between Spears and unicorn-rider Neil Patrick Harris, coupled with a return to some bad habits, are threatening the comeback we've been patiently waiting for.
Over the protests of How I Met Your Mother's Neil Patrick Harris—who in the wake of Britney Spears's recent guest appearance openly bemoaned the slippery stunt-casting slope that threatened to compromise the integrity of his politely tolerated CBS sitcom—the singer has been reportedly asked by producers to return for another ratings-goosing helping of her comic chops. People reports:
Another day, another star parties in London and lets their hair down. Or in Emma Watson's case, flashes her Britney to the paparazzi. Joining the very exclusive peek-a-boo sorority helmed by Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, recently legal Hermione Granger celebrated her 18th birthday by partying across the pond with co-stars in a very demure little black dress, but made the all-too-common mistake of failing to exit her chauffered car in the proper manner. Though it appears the potential bad girl was wearing some kind of thong-ish type thing, her lacey underwear left little to the imagination. And though it's not our place, we do recommend Watson consider heading to the nearest waxer before flashing her nether regions again. A closer look after the jump.
Dependable stunt-cast object Britney Spears recent triumph on How I Met Your Mother has apparently kick-started a new lease on life for the singer, having been photographed recently looking thinner and in full command of a local gym's cardio equipment. Also on the menu: a trip to a Beverly Hills hair salon, en route to which she stopped to pick up a shirtless individual the tabloids were quick to describe as "reminiscent of that which attracted Britney to her ex-husband." X17 caught up with this betanktopped figure of mystery, who was quick to clear up any misconceptions: He was the friend of Brett, Britney's assistant, and was eager to catch up with his old pal by diving into the back of the Most Photographed White Diamond Escalade on Earth. The man with the perilously high sperm-count's frank assessment of Spears? "She's cool. She's really cool...She's a good girl."
Perhaps Diddy's plan to create a celebrity chauffeur service wasn't such a bad one after all. After leaving a club last night mumbling and grumbling, beach yogi Jeremy Piven made an attempt to drive himself home in a techno-blaring first generation Ford Bronco (we think), but didn't make it very far. Seems the services of his dealer friend were needed to act as designated driver and deliver the Pivster to his abode unharmed. But what went down at the gas station where he abandoned his machismo-exuding ride? Tell us, nicotine-addicted witnesses, do tell us!
Looks like last week's news that the Britney Spears Comeback Tour were showing signs of slowing down were more prophetic than we thought. On Saturday night, Spears was on her way to break bread with her semi-estranged mother Lynne when she rear-ended a Nissan that stopped in traffic in front of her on the 101. The cause of the accident? Britney was applying her makeup while driving:
