What happened to No-Drama Obama? As the blithe candidate of hope, he led a leakproof, gaffe-resistant campaign. Ever since the election, he's been exploding with scandal and gossip. Fantastic!

Variety isn't the first publication to parallel America's bright new political era with this year's Oscar derby. But, bless their hearts, they may very well be the last.

The Associated Press is alleging copyright infringement by street artist and graphic designer Shepard Fairey, who based his famous Barack Obama posters on an AP image. Why now?

Obama was a hope-mongering starry-eyed radical centrist socialist realist bipartisan FDR 2. At least in the fantasy worlds of his supporters! But it's hard to reconcile everyone's contradictory hopes, once they're invested in you.

• More magazine closures may be on the way at Condé Nast. [NYO]
• Time Warner posted a fourth-quarter loss of $16 billion. [AP]
• Bill Keller says there are "deadly serious" discussions taking place at the New York Times about charging for access to the paper's website. [E&P]
• Obama campaign manager David Plouffe has signed a seven-figure deal with Viking to write a book about last year's presidential election. [AP]
• Thanks to Ron Burkle, Wal-Mart customers can no longer pick up copies of magazines like People, Sports Illustrated and Time. [NYP]
• Jonathan Wald is leaving CNBC. [CNBC]
• Ticketmaster and concert promoter Live Nation are close to a merger. [WSJ]

Oh boy, the stimulus won't pass the Senate because it doesn't have that magic 60 votes! We're all screwed, because of imaginary filibusters!

Now that President Obama has announced a $500,000 compensation cap for senior Wall Street execs who work for banks that receive assistance from the federal government, Goldman Sachs has decided it would like give its bailout billions back. "It would send a very good signal if the firm could repay the money," said David Viniar, Goldman's chief financial officer. Guess this means Jon Winkelried can take his Nantucket estate off the market! [Bloomberg via Dealbreaker]

Some people in California need answers! Did they actually buy a rare painting of Barack Obama from before he was famous? Or just an ugly painting of a random black guy in a garish shirt?

• More details about President Obama's plans to limit Wall Street pay are emerging. So is plenty of criticism. "I don't think the president should paint everyone with the same brush," says JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon. [BN, WSJ, BN]
• Wells Fargo has scrapped plans to host a employee conference in Las Vegas after the bank was pummeled with criticism. [WSJ]
• A dozen top bankers from Merrill-BofA have defected to Deutsche Bank. [TD]
• Lazard's fourth-quarter profits dropped by 50 percent. [DB]
• Daniel Och is doubling down on his hedge fund, Och-Ziff. [WSJ]
• Both Citigroup and the Mets say they're standing by their stadium plan. [NYP]
• Bloomberg LP is laying off staff. [Clusterstock]
• The House will hear testimony about Bernie Madoff today from Harry Markopolos, the investigator who tried to blow the whistle on him. [NYT]

To be fair, Anderson Cooper tonight asked the president some questions about serious topics, like the economy. Then the immaculately groomed CNN anchor turned his attention to Barack Obama's nails.

Those "TyGirlz" dolls named Sasha and Malia, the ones Michelle Obama viciously smeared as "inappropriate" (BURN!)? They're done. Gone forever. Finished. (Not exactly.)

Tom Daschle has dropped his bid to become Secretary of Health and Human Services after not paying taxes for a car and driver. He must be flashing back to his campaign ad from 1986.

Surrounded by friends for her Secretary of State swearing in, Hillary Clinton felt comfortable enough to thank husband Bill for a "lifetime of — all kinds of experiences," i.e. that intern slut.

Tom Daschle is really sorry about the taxes, though of course the GOP is just going after him because he wants to socialize all the medicine. Senators like him, though, so he will probably be confirmed, soon. Meanwhile:

"This is a package that is responsive to this massive gap." That's not a line from an upcoming bailout porno. That's how Peter Orszag, Obama's budget director, really talks! And he's not the only one.

We liked him so much when all we knew was that he gave us our new president of hope, but Obama campaign manager David Plouffe ruined all that by babbling about beer pong to Esquire.

• President Obama is expected to push for tight restrictions on executive compensation in order to improve public perception of the bailout. [WSJ]
• A group of angry Bank of America shareholders will demand that Ken Lewis get the boot at the bank's upcoming annual meeting. [NYP]
• Lehman Brothers is still hiring people to help wind down the firm. And it's receiving a ton of resumes from out-of-work Wall Streeters. [WSJ]
• Weill-gate continues: Now it turns out Sandy Weill used a Citi jet to go on a Mexican vacation, although he may reimburse Citi for some expenses. [NYP]
• Deutsche Bank plans to cut bonuses by an average of 60 percent. [BN]
• Fortune explains why Merrill had such a disastrous fourth quarter. [Fortune]
• Consumer spending fell in December for a sixth consecutive month. [BN]

Matt Lauer is supposed to interview Barack Obama for the Superbowl pre-game show any minute now. He could use a good chat following his terrible week of endless dissing.

When President Obama was sworn in, Aretha Franklin's hat appeared to sing My Country Tis of Thee. Ms. Franklin, not a small woman, disappeared under its heft.

Developing: George, the half-brother of Barack Obama, was arrested in Nairobi for possession of illegal drugs. The dude had one joint!