• Jon Friedman thinks the CBS Evening News needs more funny. [MarketWatch]
• There's a new round of rumors that Dow Jones is for sale. The alleged buyer this time: Warren Buffett. [Dow Jones Newswires via SmartMoney]
• At conference, Sulzberger lays out plan for "meeting the demands of modern consumers while staying true to journalism's traditional values." Surprising, "make sure your paper has a major ethics crisis at least every other year" was not a recommendation. [E&P]
• The Times scandals are good news, says Bill Powers. [National Journal]
• Is the final liquidation of Primedia imminent? One can only hope. [Folio:]
• New York mag adds new section of real-estate porn, and Cosmo editor Kate White hates late close nights at the office. Yes, it's hard being a Hearst EIC. [WWD]
• We'd make a joke about hip-hop mag The Source going broke and writing bad checks, but we're a little afraid of them. [NYP]

The big news of the day is that Miller's cowboy pal and not-so-secret source, Lewis "Scooter" Libby, is, finally, indicted.

Because when things don't smell like ass, it's news.

It seems everyone now agrees that Miss Run Amok will soon run away, and word is that she's busy negotiating the terms of her departure.

Today's installment in Alex Kuczynski's Thursday Styles series, The Inane Shopping Adventures of the Filthy Rich, takes her to the new Burton Snowboards store Soho. There, she was astonished — astonished — to discover that snowboarders often like to toke up.

• Breaking! Lloyd Grove not a fucking idiot so much as we might have thought! Writes Daily News slave Karin Henry, "To be fair to Lloyd, today s fucking idiocy can be laid at my feet. My brain said 'Walk the Line,' but my fingers said 'Ring of Fire.' Call it a brain fart, mental hemorrhoid or the ass-related metaphor of your choice. If Lloyd can take it like a man, so can I. Even though I m not."
• Hey, what's former Boldface Names gal, our auntie Joyce Wadler, been up to? We mean, besides sticking Candy Corns up her nose... [NYT]
• Best Post headline since, well, yesteday: "Mazel Toughs." Related: Why didn't the Warriors feature a Hasidic gang? [NYP]
• Sex machines. Literally. [Nerve]
• iPods are kinda like Rosa Parks, except white? No, seriously, we don't know what Apple was trying to do here, but it ain't working. [Apple]
• If you're so self-loathing as to sleep with someone named "Scooter," you're probably pathetic enough to stay with him through any forthcoming indictments. [Radar]
• Meghan O'Rourke fights for your right to get intellectually and physically laid. [Slate]

We now introduce a new daily feature on Gawker: Today in Judy. What's the latest with Ms. Miller? Has she been fired yet? Did she quit? Any new details? Today in Judy is your easy way to keep on top of all the swirling Millerian news. (Also, in the future this will be a morning feature. We had computer troubles today, and our whole day has been screwed up. Sigh.)

• The Voice turns 50. Long live independent journalism! Oh, wait. [VV]
• Old Voicers, shockingly, continue to be apprehensive about merger. [NYP]
• Four reasons regulators should block the Voice-New Times deal. [SFBG]
• Nightliners are apprehensive, too, as overhauled, Koppel-less version of the show moves toward its launch. [NYO]
• Al Franken to enter Minnesota politics. Which will require moving there. The horror. [NYO]
• New New York Press editor Harry Siegel, who used to work at the Sun, is profiled by a freelancing Sun editor, who reveals Siegel's Press ascension was engineered by the paper's founder, Russ Smith, who doesn't own it anymore. It's almost as incestuous as one of our Mediabistro-EIC posts. [Doublethink]
• James Truman's new job will be in London, not New York. And Judy Miller's car sports a "Support Our Troops" bumper sticker. We don't mean to suggest any correlation. [WWD
• Why's the Times at war with itself? Because it deserves it. [MarketWatch]

Frank Bruni eviscerates the swollen Tribeca eatery Ninja today (and rightfully so — having been there, we find it unimaginable that this venue is permitted to exist) and declares, "For a toddler with a trust fund and a yen for udon and maki, Ninja might be a valid alternative to the Jekyll and Hyde restaurant." Okay, so Frank's not a fan of the joint, either. But how much does he hate the "dreary subterranean labyrinth?" When describing the ninja servers' repetitive ninja catcalls, he writes:

Times TV critic announced today that she likes The Colbert Report, the new Daily Show spinoff in which Stephen Colbert plays a pompous talkshow host akin to Bill O'Reilly.

Last night we were reading the latest from the Times, a carefully worded report on note-passing fun that makes us a little wet with hope that Libby and Cheney will disappear from the face of the Earth for their involvement with the leaking of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity. But, as focused reading makes our heads spin, we were automatically drawn to the Times' interactive graphic (a portion of which is featured above), Timeline of a Leak. A handy chart showing who was involved with what and where, it's an invaluable decoding tool for two years' worth of political and ethical crap-slinging.

The long weekend of Judyism ended today not with a whimper but with a bang:

The Millerized weekend began Friday night, when Bill Keller menschily (and strategically, we suspect) sent a staff memo apologizing for his Plamegate screwups and distancing himself — and the paper — from Miller. It intensified Saturday, when Maureen Dowd pulled Judy's hair and slapped her silly, and when Miller made public her you're-full-of-shit memo in response to Keller's. When Sunday came — with all this buildup, with the biggest circ of the week, with seven days since the big post-testimony exposes — the conditions seemed right for an explosion.

When Arthur Sulzberger Jr., the fifth-generation scion of arguably America's greatest newspaper family, moved into top Times management, he made a conscious decision to cut off the friendships with rank-and-file Timesmen he'd made during his years of seasoning at the paper. Two employees with whom he's remained friendly, however, are a former housemate from his Washburo days, Miss "Run Amok" Miller, and his star Washington columnist, Maureen Dowd.

It was, it seemed, the weekend when Millerpalooza finally, dramatically, exploded, leaving little bits of blown-about Judiana strewn everywhere: a torn bit of quilted Burberry jacket wedged into Friday night, shreds of a "Valerie Flame" notebook tossed like confetti onto Saturday, Sunday brunch haunted by St. Regis memories of Scooter Libby, a Barney Calame hangover lingering into Monday.

• Judy Miller is a real piece of work, says Wash Postis Gene Robinson. Not that there's anything wrong with that. [WP]
• Jim Cramer TV is a "surreal nightly call-in show on CNBC that is perhaps best described as Louis Rukeyser meets televangelism meets Pee-wee's Playhouse." [BizWeek]
• At D.C. awards dinner, Roger Ailes picks up Freedom of Speech award — and proceeds to exercise that right with wild abandon. [B&C]
• At Puerto Rico confab, magworld learns, among other things, that Newsweek editor Mark Whitaker does laps in a Speedo. Oddly enough, we knew that already, and we have no idea of how or why. [WWD]

Plus, Sulzberger molests small boys.

Top three headlines on NYTimes.com a few minutes ago:

In a earnings-report conference call yesterday, the Times Co. explained away a 52 percent profit drop for the third quarter and gave analysts assurances that the paper is looking to — here comes some groundbreaking business strategy — increase revenues and reduce expenses. And nothing is off limits on that latter point, as Dow Jones Newswires reported:

The transit authority yesterday announced a little Christmas present: weekend fare discounts between Thanksgiving and New Year's. How'd it go over? We have no idea.