The slack economy is costing America more than $1 trillion per year in lost output. But there's an upside: Great deals, on everything!

Some wacky Harvard Business School kids decided to write up a case study on undead Chelsea celebuclub Marquee, probably so they could get past the doorman. They found out Marquee's profit:

Is it possible that in the midst of a recession, companies are thinking twice about paying outrageous fees for advice from some underling hired by America's most comical Presidential campaign failure, Rudy Giuliani? It's possible.

What a time to start selling $595 jeans. The free publicity potential is incredible. Across America, hacks are whipping out pocket calculators and saying, "Do you know what you could buy for $595??"

Hold on to your frumpy Chico's fashions: Michael Phelps' mom has written a tell-all book! Star has an exclusive excerpt. Can you guess why that fact alone is very, very strange?

The New York Times' management is full of good liberals, and they really don't like to fire writers. But cutting salaries and folding sections isn't as easy as it looks. Or as effective.

Oh. Damn. Microtrend-spotting evil flack Mark Penn has struck upon the way to get rich. And he reveals it today, in his microtrend column! Totally. Ironclad. Moneymaking. This is why he's much wealthier than you:

"This is a tough time for the very wealthy," begins a story about how "ultra-luxury" auto brands are confident that their customers will survive. Meanwhile, the American dream is now "to be a renter!"

Times are tough. Stupid corporate cost-cutting tricks are rampant. Even within the hallowed confines of media companies! And the situation is growing more dire—no more free gyms, babysitting, good coffee, food, or toilet paper:

Hey whoa what is this, it seems that some newspaper companies in Europe are not doing too bad? How is this possible? They have a secret:

Ecko, the hip hop clothing line that morphed over a decade from underground to JC Penney chic, is in danger of going bankrupt. Maybe that 280,000 square-foot fantasyland office was a bit much?

The New York Times has completed the first step: admitting it has a problem. The internal memo is out, confirming today's rumored pay cuts (and layoffs). This is big news.

Last week we asked you, the media freelancers, to tell us how long you're waiting to get paid. Scads responded! Deadbeat villains, prepare to be outed.

Two conceptual artists/nuts decided that they could stop people from dying by building bizarre apartments for them. But Bernie Madoff lost all their money! He's killed the dream of immortality through uneven flooring:

Former Star editor and Jessica Coen enemy Joe Dolce went into PR, appropriately. And he's just completed a renovation of his summer home! Cause-effect. Now he can see his mom naked:

Huffpo-er Jeremy Abelson interviewed famous American Julia Allison about how her "brand" will "make money." Not to get too technical, but it involves having people pay her for...stuff, that she does.

Famous American Bill Clinton has apparently decided to just walk away from up to $20 million he was owed by his old friend, creepy old billionaire modelizer Ron Burkle. Now why would he do that?

You might think that American Apparel would thrive in the recession, with their affordable clothes and dirtbag-embracing ads. But you'd be wrong, since an investor just rescued them from defaulting on a loan.

Yesterday we heard rumors that Viacom has introduced a new system for screwing its vendors out of getting paid on time. Today, more insight into the Kafka-esque world of "InvoiceWorks," from a real vendor!

Conventional wisdom says that smaller local papers are safer than bigger papers, because they have less competition. Then again, an amazing number of people do not give a fuck about their local papers.