• David Carr likes Rachael Ray, man-hands and all. [NYT]
• Kurt Andersen can handle Gawker's spitballs. It's Thelma & Louise metaphors that give him trouble. [NYM]
• AdAge names Vogue Editor Anna Wintour Magazine Editor of the Year. It describes Wintour (Editor of Vogue) as "more Horace Greeley than Coco Chanel." We can't wait for the Vogue Editor's presidential run. If you can't get enough Anna Wintour, there's also video and photos of the Vogue Editor. [AdAge]
• If you like Wallpaper you'll love Monocle, the new title from Tyler Br l . We could actually care less about either, we just like typing Tyler Br l . It's a pretty perfect name. Try it yourself: Tyler Br l , Tyler Br l , Tyler Br l . Fun, right?[WWD]
• Hearst almost as cheap as New York. [Radar]
• If you go on Charlie Rose's show, he will totally take you out to dinner. [NYT]
• "We're looking for soulless people with a passion for writing and a willingness to report on the latest celebrity muckity muck." We swear to God, we did not place this ad. [Craigslist]

• You ever get so incapacitated by the incredible number of jokes that you could possibly do about a story that you just bury it in a linkdump? Because sometimes we do. [FBW]
• The dog ate the Times' and the Trib's homework. [NYT]
• Network television as we know it is apparently dead. This is what happens when you put Jeff Zucker in charge of things. [WSJ]
• Mean Dan Abrams won't answer sweetie Rachel Sklar's questions concerning long overdue canning of Crosby, Carlson. [ETP]
• Jesus Christ, Crown will buy anything. [NYP]
• Did you know that the magazine industry is starting to embrace the Web? Of course you did. But confirmation from Jon Friedman always makes it seem a little more legitimate. [Marketwatch]
• Sheryl Stolberg is gay for Tony Snow. [NJ]

• NBC Cuts: Approximately 700 jobs axed, MSNBC moved from Secaucus, news budget slashed, expensive dramas abandoned. [Bloomberg]
• Of course, if you believe the Times, the layoffs will not be extensive. [NYT]
• Also, the network now plans to buy more of its crappy programming from its in-house studio. Insert your own "And such small portions" joke here. [WSJ]
• And MSNBC "stars" like Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews may be moved to CNBC, which means we might actually start watching MSNBC. [B&C]
• In non-NBC news, you'll soon be able to see the Wall Street Journal's repellent editorials in full color. The rest of the paper, too. [AdAge]

• Music industry decides that illegal downloaders are people too. Which means they can be marketed to. [WSJ]
• Or sued. [Reuters]
• "By contrast, I don't know anyone who comes to a Web site out of a feeling of obligation. People gravitate to the Internet because they want to, not because they need to. The public's rallying cry might well be, in Nirvana's memorable words: 'Here we are now, entertain us.'" Okay, now Jon Friedman is starting to freak us out a little bit. [Marketwatch]
• Time Warner Cable files for $100 million IPO. The company will be listed on the NYSE some time in the next three weeks between the hours of nine and four. [Reuters]

• If you watched Katie Couric on Monday night you're in a pretty exclusive club. [Drudge Report]
• The publisher and editor of the Toronto Star have resigned. [NYT]
• There's a new head at Metro. [FBNY]
• The F.C.C. makes Sumner Redstone crap his Depends. [B&C]
• Louise MacBain sounds like a real pleasure to work for. [WWD]

There's an interesting moment in this Daily Intelligencer interview with James Truman concerning his former employers. Truman, who resigned from LTB media yesterday to cast his bread upon the waters of the media industry, is asked to compare his most recent employment to his time at Cond Nast, and replies: "How does Ecclesiastes compare with the Bhagavad Gita? One, it's shorter ..."

· Vince Vaughn's lawyers would like the world to know that he and Jennifer Aniston are still as together as ever, and that they're ready to sue into oblivion the nasty gossips who claimed he made out with some cheap blonde in London. Unrelated: The Break-Up, available on DVD tomorrow!
Is Lindsay Lohan going to take a break from acting? Probably not, but that shouldn't stop anyone from quietly wishing she might disappear for a year.
Despite this apparent "job application", former NY Daily News JV gossip columnist Lloyd Grove swears he's not headed to the LAT.
If you've ever thought that Mr. T's decades-old mohawk-and-fifty-pounds-of-gold-chains look could use an update, here's your chance to make it happen.
We bet that if Tom Waits were to handpick one actress to do an entire album of his music, he would've picked Scarlett Johansson, too.
More K-Fed wish fulfillment: Househusband to be bodyslammed tonight on WWE Raw. Set your DVRs!

• That Cathy Horyn correction? It was a big "fuck you" to Styles editor Trip Gabriel. [WWD]
• Time is an important magazine that must innovate if it wants to stay relevant. This burst of obviousness brought to you by, yes, Jon Friedman. [Marketwatch]
• Friends of Janice Min want you to know that putting Whitney Houston on the cover of Us Weekly was Jann Wenner's idea. Jann Wenner's bad idea. [Radar]
• Jack Shafer wants more and better rowbacks. [Slate]
• Fired Fox news baseball analyst Steve Lyons isn't racist against Hispanics; it's the Jews he can't stand. [USAToday]

• Dick Parsons to GooTube: "Good luck. Also, we're going to sue your socks right off your ass." [Guardian]
• LBO speculation sends Times stock soaring. [NYP]
• Jon Friedman discovers David Remnick, an obscure editor who toils in the service of a literary New York magazine one rarely hears about. [Marketwatch]
• Newsweek knows your ignorant American ass doesn't want to deal with complexity. [Wonkette]

Because big companies are a little shifty, he caller IDs of many a media organization have been reduced to generic strings of numbers so that the person receiving the call might not, god forbid, know the number of the company that's calling them. In particular, the Times will show up on your phone as 111-111-1111 (because then it's so impossible to Google their number!); the number thus bears a certain familiarity amongst Times staffers and freelancers. But leave it to tricky publicists to crash the party. A tipster tells the Daily Intelligencer:

By now you've probably read at least one American media outlet's report of Angelina Jolie's sideswiping of a teenager as she supposedly fled the paparazzi in India, where's she's shooting A Mighty Heart. (If not: Angelina Jolie sideswiped an Indian teenager while fleeing the paparazzi. You're all caught up.) But we find it far more interesting to look at a version of the story from the local Indian media, if for no other reason than we feel like having to puzzle through the occasional foreign word somewhat slows the usual neuron attrition associated with reading about celebrity misadventures. The Indian Express relays the firsthand accounts of both the accident victim and an eyewitness:

Today's Good Morning America interview with Mel Gibson represented the troubled actor's long-awaited first step towards assuring the public that the money they might eventually spend on tickets to his upcoming Apocalypto won't be secretly funneled into a synagogue-burning fund through the frank discussion of his tequila-chugging demons with a respected member of the morning show community. We'll send you on to a clip from the first installment of Diane Sawyer's two-parter without too much preamble, but encourage you to note two moments that come towards the end of this footage: Sawyer's look of bafflement at Gibson's joke about alcohol having the ability to make him want to murder a toaster with his bare hands (apologies to the kitchen appliance community are forthcoming), and his admission that even grievous drunkeness can't diminish an actor's desire to look pretty in his mugshot.

• The genius Ogilvy & Mather suicide bomber PSA has been pulled. [Guardian]
• Why don't Jack Shafer and Michael Isikoff hang out any more? [Slate]
• LAT rearranging the deck chairs. [NYT]
• Howard Kurtz loooooves Tony Snow. [WaPo]

• This may very well be the worst charity ad ever. [London Evening Standard]
• Oprah Winfrey gives Hearst Tower a handjob, calls it "out of the box." Yeah, it's that kind of morning. [NYO]
• Not even Times Square is safe from Bill O'Reilly. [THR]
• If you work at Time Inc. you should probably start boxing up your personal belongings now, just in case. [WWD]
• David Brooks is a terrible human being who will select whatever "facts" conveniently support his glib, tendentious arguments without regard for consistency. Also, he's a bad Mets fan. [NYO]

Don Podesta, the Washington Post's assistant managing editor for copy desks, is asking that WaPo writers find a better way to refer to the n-word than "the N-word":

• Larry Page and Sergey Brin pretend that they're playing with real money. [NYT]
• "It's generally a questionable sign when a publisher flees before a magazine publishes its first issue; it's worse when the magazine has been launched and failed twice already." WWD harshes out on Radar, compensates by running "thin" picture of Maer Roshan. [WWD]
• Keith Olbermann makes obscure reference to the time Nicole Richie took a gigantic crap in Paris Hilton's mouth in an epic game of Truth or Dare gone awry. [FBNY]
• The problem with new media? Not enough people getting killed. [LAT]
• "Maybe if you want to get a younger audience for your newscast, maybe you could start by not ash-canning a pregnant 43-year-old woman and replacing her with a man 20 years older. I'm just thinking out loud here." We would have said "shit-canning," but otherwise James Poniewozik speaks for us. [Tuned In]

Because we scratch out our meager existence on the internets, we feel obligated to mention that Google has just bought YouTube for a reported $1.65 billion in stock, thereby seizing control of the world's largest online repository of Brokeback Mountain parodies, fake teenager video journals, and promotional clips for NBC's exciting new slate of Fall programming. We can only hope that Google will be a benevolent steward of the cultural treasure trove they've purchased, for we'd hate to have to visit a lesser video sharing site to view footage of P. Diddy basking in his ability to urinate in front of a television camera.

• In yet another installment of a series of just unbelievable coincidences, Anna Politkovskaya, a Russian journalist critical of President Vladimir Putin, was gunned down this weekend. Politkovskaya becomes the thirteenth reporter to so perish during Putin's tenure. But we're sure it was an accidental, brutal execution-style contract killing. [Guardian]
• Just what we need: A hip-hop Cookie! [WWD]
• How sick, depraved, and out-of-control was Mark Foley? He tried to fuck a Post reporter. [NYP]

If we were to tell you that a marketing research firm dedicated considerable resources to determining the values of 46 discrete personality attributes for nearly three thousand celebrities, and that one of the categories their study sought to measure was "overexposure," we'd wager that you could rattle off with hardly any effort at least ten of the top 12 scorers. (We'd never ask you to actually follow through on this exercise, but should you get the urge to sacrifice no more than five neurons to this test of mental rigor, be our guest.) In their story on this breakthrough scientific examination of exactly how sick we are of seeing the same dozen or so famous faces over and over again, Forbes examines the test case presented by Jessica Simpson (#12, 41% overexposure rating), who progressed from the humble beginnings of Britney Spears (#2, 62%) clonedom to the kind of recent ubiquity that makes it all but impossible to crack open a fortune cookie without seeing her image alongside a Confucian aphorism altered to relate to the dropping of her latest album:

• What will the effect of Jeffrey Johnson's ouster from the LAT be? Well, for one thing, it will allow every media outlet to print articles like this one, which speculates about the effect of Jeffrey Johnson's ouster from the LAT. [WSJ]
• Nikki Finke thinks Dean Baquet is a big pussy. [DHD]
• Carly Fiorina wants credit for H-P's turnaround. H-P's spying? Not so much. [NYT]
• Jack Shafer is bullish on Bloomberg News, even though its news "has all the mouth-feel of a cup of talc." Yeah, it took us a while to get that one out of our heads too. [Slate]
• Now you can be bored by twelve full years of Charlie Rose. [WWD]
• Even when Jon Friedman admits to spouting the conventional wisdom he's spouting the conventional wisdom. [Marketwatch]