gossip

Mystery Blogger Rance: Affleck's Signature Logorrhea?

mark · 05/19/04 04:51PM

Is supposedly A-list actor/pseudonymous blogger Rance actually Ben Affleck? A reader tips us to an intriguing clue: In a recent entry on Rance's blog, he offers a puzzle to which the answer is "OV. Unscrambled, that's VO, as in Seagram's singular whiskey." The reader remembers seeing a story about Affleck's tattoos, and was led to this page, where Ben is sporting an "OV" tattoo (thumbnailed at left, click the image for the full picture or follow the link to the third image). Just like the "OV Unscrambled" in Rance's post. And, you know, Ben used to do a bit of the drinky drinky.

Wachowski Trying To Cut Off Estranged Wife, Own Penis

mark · 05/19/04 11:17AM

The estranged wife of Matrix co-director/gender reassignment candidate Larry Wachowski is accusing him of trying to sneak around their prenup by claiming that he helped created The Matrix before they were together. These things where millionaire creators of sweeping trilogies that begin with promise but end in disappointment allegedly circumvent prenuptial agreements while simultaneously struggling with the emotional pain of having their genitals chopped off to help realize their inner self never end well.

It Isn't Just Troy's Box Office That Stinks

mark · 05/19/04 11:08AM

Apparently, Brad Pitt could be a little better about washing underneath that skirt. Pitt was declared the world's smelliest celebrity by Swedish showbiz expert Mikael Jagerbrand [Ed.note—Maybe that face Pitt makes when he's trying to "act" is just him catching a whiff of his own stink? ] due to his "inability to wash himself or his clothes." Though Russell Crowe is still ahead of Pitt in the Oscar tally, he only mustered enough body odor to merit second place. (Red carpet harpy Joan Rivers lives in fear of his musk, which must be strong enough to loosen her ghoulish facelifts.)

Fallon Dumps SNL, But Who's Taking Over Weekend Update?

mark · 05/18/04 04:49PM

Jimmy Fallon has broken character and cracked up at his own antics on Saturday Night Live for the last time. Fallon will leave the show to pursue a movie career; too bad his last episode was marred by the Olsen Twins proving themselves to have the comic gifts of your average, developmentally disabled poodle. We can only hope that Lorne Michaels and Fallon are going to spare us a movie version of pot-smoking webcam sketch "Jarret's Room," which was Wayne's World plus drugs and minus laughs.

Is Entertainment Weekly Lifting From Low Culture?

mark · 05/18/04 12:21PM

Low Culture's Guy Cimbalo notices an uncomfortable similarity between an item on the Olsen Twins' New York Minute that he wrote over a month ago and a May 14th Entertainment Weekly piece that details myriad "appropriations" Minute made from other films. The text of the EW article is presented on Low Culture so you can decide if great minds think alike or other "appropriations" were made. We know that we always make everything about us, but we're kind of excited for EW "Hot Sheet" editor Jim Mullen to steal items and inject his trademark humorlessness into them.