Alec Baldwin is not running for mayor of New York. But he might in the future. God, this guy needs to make up his mind. He's running for Congress, then he's not running for Congress. He's interested in running for office and then he's running for mayor, and now he's not. We don't care anymore.

My new personal hero is Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, better known as the Duchess of Alba. The Spanish royal (and tabloid fixture better known as Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart) is worth between $850 million and $5 billion but she's giving it all away to marry a commoner. Aww.

Since it's apparently still 1963, Gloria Steinem is still waging war on the Playboy Club, but this time she's fighting The Playboy Club, calling for a boycott of the NBC show that premieres this fall. Don't worry, Gloria, this piece of crap is going to fail on its own!

Reggie Bush texts Kim incessantly, begging her ditch Kris at the altar. George Clooney's female wrestler lover sleeps over. Angelina dodges rioters in London. Ali Lohan is officially more bankable than Lindsay. Wednesday gossip is the one that got away.

The major drug companies have apparently milked the Swine Flu™ pandemic for all that they could, because the World Health Organization today declared that the "H1N1 virus has largely run its course." In a statement, the Director-General said the WHO's Emergency Committee decided on this during a conference call. Oh, but wait — they've left a little nugget of doubt to make sure everyone remains vigilant:

Barely a month ago, thousands of rioter pictures were funneled to the Vancouver police via Facebook, Twitter and the broader internet. The internet dragnet seemed novel at the time. But now the same sort of viral manhunt is underway in London.

Today we learned that Lauren Bush, daughter of Neil, will take the last name of her new husband David Lauren, son of Ralph. So she's Lauren Bush Lauren! Amazing. Just think of the weird possibilities with a name like that. Actually, some of you did think of them.

Hackers have reportedly broken into Norway shooter Anders Behring Breivik's email account and turned the contents over to police in an effort to help their investigation. See, hackers aren't all amoral cybermonsters.

In 1984, Apple was the humanist underdog freeing us from Big Brother IBM. At 2:30pm today, Apple became the biggest corporate behemoth measured on any market. Keep buying sweatshop iPhones so Apple can continue its tracking and liberation campaigns!

Fred Karger looks like a presidential candidate. He sounds like a presidential candidate. Hell, he is a presidential candidate — the only (openly) gay one currently in the running, who's now polling neck-and-neck with Newt Gingrich for the Republican presidential nomination.

You know that actors, reality show hosts, and network news anchors make tons of cash, right? But just how much do they make? And who makes more than their fellow stars on shows? And why is Ashton Kutcher the highest paid actor on TV? Let's find out.

Shiny-haired political heiress Lauren Bush has made it official: She'll take fiance David Lauren's last name, and go by "Lauren Bush Lauren" after her wedding. Two Laurens with a Bush in the middle. Easiest society punchline since Ima Hogg. [P6]

Brad is afraid Angie will stab him in his sleep. Kelly Rowland has a double nip slip. Kate Gosselin lures a man with cupcakes, and fails. Jennifer Lopez wears four pairs of Spanx at once. Tuesday gossip draws shallow breaths.

The arson and pillaging that's terrorized working-class London since Saturday has spread into eight more city districts and at least three other cities in the U.K., marking the worst outbreak of civil unrest in that country in a quarter-century. Here are the latest updates:

[Photo via Getty]

Have you heard of action star Luke Evans? Maybe not yet, but he's in a bunch of big upcoming action movies. That means its time for his PR team to shove him back in the closet. But that's going to be pretty tough since he's already talked about his boyfriends and love of gay porn.

Twitter, the growing microblog juggernaut, basks in the glory of its celebrity users and the so-called "Twitter revolutions." Decaying BlackBerry, meanwhile, is experiencing the unpleasant flipside of product association.

Bravo honcho Andy Cohen programmed himself onto the network to host the Real Housewives reunions and gave himself his own show. But that wasn't enough. Now he's writing a book about growing up loving pop culture and suppressing his homosexuality as a child. It's called Obviously Andy: The Dandy Andy Story of Growing up Andy Cohen by Andy Cohen by Andrew Cohen. OK, not really, but it does come out next summer.

Former New York Times restaurant critic and overall NYT star Frank Bruni was named an Op-Ed columnists last May, just after Frank Rich's departure. We had high hopes! We were promised that Bruni's column would be "a sharp, opinionated look at a big event of the last week, from a different or unexpected angle, or a small event that was really important but everyone seems to have missed, or something entirely different." How's that going?

Remember when Caroline Kennedy convinced media executives to bury the History Channel's The Kennedys mini-series? We may now know what her bargaining chip was: ABC News (which has corporate ties to the History Channel) is preparing to air a series of never-before-heard audio tapes of Jackie Onassis, possibly conversing with historian Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. The tapes are either the juiciest Kennedy dirt imaginable or totally banal, depending who you ask.