When we characterized Meghan McCain's disastrous TV appearance on Rachel Maddow last night as a "pundit audition," we didn't know how right we were.

People send a lot of crap to our tipline, but from time to time, we're going to run the more interesting and/or coherent correspondence. Today, a non-fan of Men's Health editor-in-chief Dave Zinczenko.

Applause broke out in a New York courtroom — and across the nation — as U.S. District Judge Denny Chin ordered Bernie Madoff, who has confessed to a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, to jail. Immediately.

Bad couple day: Robert Pattinson's Tina Fey lust would be inappropriate, except she started it; there's a conspiracy against the Rihanna-Chris Brown reunion; and John Mayer maybe dumped Jennifer Aniston.

At fashion shows the world over, buyers and journalists are sending their regrets. There are fewer million- and billion-aire customers to invite. Time to pack the house with freeloaders and other undesirables!

CNBC's Jim Cramer was spotted at a Brooklyn bistro the night before his much-anticipated chat with nemesis Jon Stewart on the Daily Show. The stalker sighting, complete with an "adoring fan:"

HarperCollins will pay $3.2 million for two books from pilot Chesley Sullenberger, according to a story in the Daily Beast. And go figure: the Zen-calm "Hero of the Hudson" is a poet.

Good Morning America made a big deal of landing U2 for a live show at Fordham University on Friday, but the broadcast actually lost ground in GMA's battle against NBC's Today Show.

San Francisco Chronicle journalists are trying to talk investors into buying the foundering daily newspaper and restructuring it as a nonprofit, writes the SF Appeal. Who are the ink-stained wretches courting?

Bernie Madoff's lawyer, Ira Lee Sorkin, signaled to a judge today that his client would plead guilty to charges, which would carry a life sentence, of running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme.

Why would Rihanna record a duet with her abusive boyfriend? Why would Marc Jacobs talk about his junk with Victoria Beckham? Did Quentin Tarantino just ask me for change? Tuesday is confusing.

A Swiss man has confessed to extorting $10 million from Susanne Klatten, a billionaire German heiress to the BMW fortune, in a bizarre revenge attempt for her family's involvement with the Nazi regime.

So the Sarah Silverman-Matt Damon "f*ckng" was for laughs, but the July breakup was real; Silverman's awkwardness on Jimmy Kimmel Live in October was staged but the couple's reconciliation was real. This latest breakup?

The economic meltdown is supposed to "reenergize [the] creative economy" of New York by breaking the city's expensive obsession with finance. Instead, it's wrecking artists' best shot at wealth: Through Larry Gagosian.

As Chris Brown negotiates a plea deal, the R&B singer is making it known Rihanna struck him first that infamous night in Los Angeles. Why does he think it matters?

Today's gossip is depressing, sorry: Robin Williams will go under the knife, Rihanna's friends are processing her Chris Brown decision and Michael Wolff is supposedly trying to kick out his mother in law.

Sure the economic collapse is hurting jobless poors or whatever but you know what's really tragic? That celebrities no longer get offered quality swag, so they have to steal it. Take Kristian Laliberte.

In the midst of a tour, stand-up comic Robin Williams checked into a Miami hospital with "heart issues," the Miami Herald reported. Drudge said the movie star is in "intensive care."

[Some dude promoting peanuts hands out samples to people at Grand Central Station. Who among you would have hit him?; image via Getty]

Britney Spears acted out her traumatic past for her concert audiences/group therapy buddies while the Speaker of the House prepared to soak in Brad Pitt's public policy wisdom.