Lindsay Lohan tried to pull rank on Taylor Momsen — and failed. Megan Fox successfully summed herself up. And Princess Margaret burned Princess Diana. Oh, yeah! It's your Thursday morning Gossip Roundup!

Now here's a Big Apple-based show we could love. Spike Lee and Robert De Niro are coming together to bring Showtime a new drama series about the nitty-gritty 80s-version of the once-fearsome Alphabet City. It's called Alphaville. [THR]

Have the political gods gone crazy? It would appear that way, because the Senate voted to allow Americans, who aren't always the most stable of folk, to carry unloaded and locked guns on Amtrak trains. How can this be good?

[Our Nerd President brandishes a lightsaber after a fencing demonstration on the White House lawn today during a photo op to promote Chicago's bid for the 2016 Olympic Games. (Bonus, green-screen-challenge-ready shot after the jump.) Image via Getty]

Trendy flack Mark Penn promised the WSJ that his evil PR firm would stop using his newspaper column as a tool to troll for PR clients. Instead, he's just writing columns off of surveys by his own polling firm!

Once upon a time the John Varvatos store reeked of rat poison, sweaty skinheads and Iggy Pop's low-hanging balls. But last night, the scent was decidedly sweeter for me, because I totally partied on a tour bus with Perry Farrell.

[Tinsley Mortimer drives designer Betsy Johnson to drink last night after her fashion show. Image via Getty]

We hear Perez Hilton had a fun time at The Box last night. Were you there, taking pictures of him? Send them to us now, if you were. Here is the full sighting we received:

Jessica Simpson hopes a coyote returns her dog. Bill hoped that Hillary would be Al's vice-president. And Jude Law's baby-mama hopes to make a buck. Good morning, and welcome to your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

[A model, who looks like a Keith Haring painting comes to life, stands for photographers in Bryant Park today as part of fashion week. Image via Getty]

For a walking science book, the Body World exhibit and its ilk sure court a lot of controversy. In Europe, the bodies are now having sex and scandal has erupted once again.

[A model gives her camera phone a workout while getting her hair did backstage at the Badgley Mischka show today. Image via Getty]

A politician shouted during Obama's speech. A tennis player yelled at a line judge. A rapper grabbed a mic during an awards show. All in the same week. You know what this means: A fake trend is sweeping America.

Noooooo: a conspiracy-minded blog is floating a rumor that Gavin Newsom is dropping out of the race. Who will play fitting successor to Arnold Schwarzenegger if not boozing, other-guy's-wife-fucking, threesome-actress-marrying, fameballer-family-having, Twitter-obsessed, gay-marrying San Francisco mayor?

Golden-hued flack Lizzie Grubman made a professional comeback after running people over with her car. ShamWow guy Vince Shlomi was arrested for beating a cannibal hooker. Now he's hired Lizzie Grubman to engineer his comeback. Perfect. Allow us to assist.

New Yorker contributor and media entrepreneur Steven Brill now says 1,000 newspapers have signed "letters of intent" to explore charging for their content, twice as many as a month ago. These aren't meaningful numbers. But Brill needs them to be.

A judge rejected a $33m settlement that would have ended the SEC's lawsuit against Bank of America, which is accused of not using enough judgment in giving executive bonuses. The settlement, said the judge, was unfair and inadequate. Shocker. [NYT]

Poor Barack Obama. The press once fawned over his ever move, word and action, but those days are over, for coverage of his presidency has grown increasingly negative. But, don't worry, because he's still on top.

We now know the secret of Roger Federer's success: Anna Wintour! The Vogue editrix has been entirely devoted during the entire U.S. Open, but left during his final set against Juan Martin del Potro yesterday. And then he lost. She-devil!

[A glimpse of a whirling propeller and lower Manhattan from the DIRECTV blimp last night. Image via Getty]