It's going to take more than six months medical leave to reform Steve Jobs. On his very first day back before the media, the Apple CEO apparently told a whopper to the New York Times.

[A man braces himself for the inevitable fireball when Courtney Love lights up while performing on stage at the after party for Alexander Wang's fashion show, which was held at a Mobil station in Manhattan. Image via Getty]

Serena Williams has been fined over $10,000 for mouthing off to a U.S. open lineswoman who called her out on what appeared to be a foot fault. Her ensuing rant, say officials, was "unsportsmanlike." Isn't that foul? [LA Times]

Los Angeles police have been trying to hunt down the cops who gave TMZ that awful picture of a battered Rihanna — and they may have just caught them.

[The Parisian "Dinner in the Sky" hoists foodies 50 meters in the air. Image via Getty]

Bee Shaffer is the daughter of Anna Wintour, Queen of All America. Despite that fact she cannot "find" a "job," allegedly? It's because she keeps it too real, yall.

In a piece on The Daily Beast today, Tina Brown finally gets hip to Anna Wintour's Make-People-Like-Me Tour 2009, but she does it all wrong. Her Anna has mastered the time-space continuum.

Tinsley Mortimer may taste reality television stardom. Tennis star Melanie Oudin tastes the sour side of fame. Jessica Seinfeld's culinary tastes weren't stolen. And Tila Tequila has no taste for foursomes. Happy Friday! Here's your gossip roundup.

Whoa, hey, back up, what? We thought it was super crazy that South African sprinter Caster Semenya had to go through complicated tests to prove she's actually a woman, just because she....whoa, she's not actually a woman!

Courtney Love did not authorize that Hellish Guitar Hero version of her dead husband that she authorized, for money—it's all Dave Grohl's fault and she's going to sue and she wants a British journalist to rape him.

Meg Whitman skipped the first major forum of California's gubernatorial candidates to attend Fortune's "Powerful Women" summit. This caused a big to-do. Now Fortune's released its list of powerful women, and guess who's been shut out?

Vanity Fair contributing editor and Graydon Carter pal Fran Lebowitz has some words of advice for a certain similarly named colleague. Annie Leibovitz, your ears are burning.

The fatal raid to rescue New York Times reporter Stephen Farrell from his Taliban captors in Afghanistan has sparked a wave of recriminations over whether the operation was necessary, and whether Farrell should have been there in the first place.

[Sometimes nude model, former gossip columnist, and full-time heiress Lydia Hearst at the Haleh fashion show. Image by WireImage via Getty]

Bernie Madoff, who was able to evade the SEC while stealing billions of dollars for decades, did not have a high opinion of the SEC's investigative capabilities. For some reason! A 2005 phone transcript proves: Bernie was a comfortable crook.

Google was once happy to help us find things on the wild, wild web. The company has obviously grown past that point, but could it soon be savior of the entire world? Possibly and probably.

Finally! After weeks of anticipation, the nation can now sleep well at night knowing that American Idol has found a new judge to replace Paula Abdul. Her name's Ellen DeGeneres, and she's the best candidate for the position.

So, the President just wrapped up his health care speech. How did it go? Well, despite his efforts to teach the GOP a thing or two, he likely wasted his breath on a group who can't comprehend his reforms.

Lo! Like a slow, squawking bird sent down from heaven to a desultory duck hunting expedition, Microtrend-inventing flack Mark Penn is back with another WSJ column. His first since we learned how dirty he is!

The deadline for Annie Leibovitz to repay her $24 million loan from Art Capital Group passed last night at 11:59 p.m. She didn't (her spokesman says she's trying to "work things out"), but Art Capital is mum. What's going on?