There was an anti-bullying conference today, where everyone talked about the importance of protecting America's dweebs and losers. (Kidding: Everyone is special in their own way.) During a speech, Obama said he was bullied as a kid for looking funny and being different. From CNN:

How dead is Soviet-style communism? This dead:

We all know that Rachel Zoe is the skinny (even when pregnant) crazy lady who runs around in recycled hippie garb and dresses celebs. She even has a TV show. But did you know that she's raking in serious money? I. Die.

When we learned that New York Times editor Bill Keller was getting his very own column in the New York Times Magazine, our keen media instinct—honed by years of reading the Twitter and writing juvenile jokes on the internet while never doing any "real reporting"—told us that sooner or later, this column would become an institutional embarrassment. Spoiler: sooner!

Lindsay Lohan arrived in court today 35 minutes late and in a tight tan mini-dress. (Is that leather?) At the hearing, she rejected a plea deal for the felony grand theft of a $2500 necklace. This means Lindsay is headed to trial! A whole trial's worth of LiLo court outfits! Think of the possibilities. (If you're thinking about going into the paparazzi business, now is a good time.) First, however, the court will convene on April 22 for a preliminary hearing where the prosecution will present evidence.

A situation is developing in Liverpool, England that could, if it unravels, have repercussions the world over. Pop gremlin Justin Bieber and his hardened posse are currently stuck in their hotel room because a huge throng of fans has gathered outside, waiting for a peek of their beloved moptop. The police are trying to control the crowd and have threatened Bieber and his crew with arrest if they go anywhere near their balcony, fearing that if the girls below catch a glimpse, a "possible riot situation" could develop.

The rumors were true: Julie Taymor has been officially pushed out of her role as director of the disastrous Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. Taymor was made to leave after she refused outside help on the production, according to the Times. Now it will be up to Bono, the Edge and The Boy from Oz director Philip William McKinley to turn the thing around. (Oh, and opening night has been delayed again, of course.)

Move over Tina Fey, there's a new Sarah in town. And she just might take her clothes off. Or not. Probably not. Also today: more pilot news including a Who's the Boss update of sorts, more Survivor is coming your way, as is more Zach Braff.

Why is everyone so damn worked up bike lanes, those green strips of pavement that have been popping up all over New York (and causing disputes) in the past few years? A New Yorker scribe is virulently opposed to them, and now everyone seems opposed to him.

Saif Qaddafi, the Western-educated sociopath child of Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi, has some guests staying in his $16 million London sex pad today, while he isn't there. Uninvited guests at that: They're activists who say they'll occupy the mansion "until this property can be returned to the Libyan people."

Columnist David Broder, who held top reporting positions and then an opinion slot at the Washington Post for so long that he'd been called "dean of the Washington press corps" for 50 years, died at 81 today of complications from diabetes.

Staid NPR is really far too dramatic these days. They just announced the resignation of CEO Vivian Schiller:

Attend the tale of a movie director who has lost two big pictures in a row. It's a sad one. Also today: more pilot casting news of course, AMC teases their latest show, The Event crashes and burns, and a little Greek send-off.

Here's how all those "spotted" items get in gossip columns: celebrities eat at restaurants, restaurants tell their PR people, PR people call gossip columnists, and—voila!—"Celebrity A was spotted at Restaurant B last night." But what if the restaurant is a shitty chain eatery, and the "celebrity" is a 13-year-old girl whose father decided to get into politics and who has never taken an affirmative step toward establishing her own notoriety? Same thing.

Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas likes to have sex with two women at the same time! He's also, according to his former lover Lillian McEwen, who has written a book about what it's like to have a three-way with someone who would eventually become a fundamentalist Supreme Court justice, basically a human fucksaw: "McEwen gushes over Thomas' prowess and 'fantasy [package],' describing his body as 'coffee-bean ... velvet-covered cement.'" Rock hard, baby.

Hey bitches and Kath-eters alike, I'm the new intern at Gawker. Here's my first journalistic assignment. Enjoy these photo captions. Oh, I'm on an Ambien, Adderall & the world's last remaining Quaalude.

Though we love her news anchor dad, we are worried about this young actress. Also today: let's analyze Suri Cruise for absolutely no reason, more exciting wedding news about the world's most important wedding, and Amanda Seyfried fesses up.

Comedian and reality TV star Kathy Griffin is in New York gearing up for Kathy Wants a Tony, her Broadway debut. She's agreed to spend some time in our indentured servitude tomorrow afternoon. So, how should we haze poor Ms. Griffin?

Today a mega music and film star's husband is joining a show that stars a mega music and film star's wife. That's just how Hollywood works. Also today: pilot casting news, a sad story about Sean Young, and a new Edgar Allan Poe emerges.

Charlie Sheen's bafflingly popular sitcom Two and a Half Men was put on ice for the rest of the season, but Warner Bros. just released a statement announcing Sheen's been "terminated...effective immediately." Are we finally rid of this show forever?