Friday afternoon we pointed out the deleterious effect Yahoo's censor monkeys can have on the brilliantly ribald copy produced by Gawker Media blogs and syndicated to the search engine. As an example, we showed you the Yahoo'd version of a Wonkette post from that day:
• This just in: Daily News Managing Editor, Features, Colleen Curtis has resigned from her position. She's heading to Good Morning America, where she'll fetch Diane Sawyer's coffee.
• It's possible to work at High Times and not love bong hits, but it's certainly not recommended. Unless, of course, you're purely intrested in their manual of style. ("Buddha" versus "buddha," etc.) [NYPress]
• Midwestern locals at the University of Wisconsin-Madison loathe their bourgie peers from the East Coast. What, is it the Uggs? [JSOnline]
• NB to the new Nightline: Ted Koppel is watching you. [B&C]
• Much like Paris Hilton, Al Reynolds has a patented paparazzi pose. [Cityrag]
• Done raping and pillaging (and eventually being scorned by) Hollywood, Mike Ovitz bends over NYC's art world. [LA Weekly]
• 62-foot Jesus makes us glad we live in Manhattan. [NYT]
• Nick Denton takes his moneybags out to LA and throws a party with Arianna Huffington. Finally, our slighted little brother gets a free drink on the boss man's dime. [Gridskipper]
Really, people. Do you honestly think we'd go and do that without telling anyone? Please.
Just to prove that we never exaggerated intelligence reports regarding our yellowcake, here's the Billy's Bakery confection that was delivered to our Millerpalooza Sweepstakes winner Sunday afternoon.
A simple Google search:
Why don't our readers ever stand outside the Today show with signs professing their love for us?
Remember those Gawker Media t-shirts that you know and love so very much? Well, boy do we have some good news: We've got some new ones!
We know what happens if we go to Google, type "failure," and click "I'm feeling lucky." It's the same thing that would have happened if we did that at any point in the last few years. It's not new, your friend wasn't the first to discover it, and, no, we don't need to act quickly before Google "fixes" it. (First Nexis mention: December 2003, in The Washington Post.) We understand you mean well, but, please, stop emailing about it.
Speaking of which: Get clicking, people. Numbers ain't looking great today, and if you don't step up we'll have to get someone else fired.
The internet is made up primarily of smart people who waste a lot of time. Some of those smart people have a lot of helpful hints over at MetaFilter for the less smart ones looking to waste time too without the bosses finding out. This is required reading for those of you who feed us our memos and leaks. Here's a sampler:
Hey. Have we told you how great you've been looking lately? That South Beach thing is definitely working out for you, and the new haircut is perfect. Oh, and we love those jeans — worn in just right. But here's the thing: Those t-shirts? Yeah, they gotta go. We know you think they're cute and funny and all vintagey, but, trust us, nobody thinks it's funny you may or may not have gotten lucky in some Appalachian state. But, don't worry, it's easy to fix this. Gawker Media is selling some brand-new t-shirts. All their old favorites are available, plus more are on the way. How'd they come up with the new ones? Readers — clearly the smartest, cleverest, most attractive people we know — voted on which slogans were their favorites, and then the Gawker folks printed them up on cute, sweatshop-free American Apparel shirts.
Oh, how our dark masters with the deep pockets have smiled upon you today, dear readers! Too generous to simply wait until our normal Friday advertorial contest time, VH1 has taken it upon themselves to celebrate hump day with some always-welcome free shit.
Remember that time when all the sudden it started really hurting to pee? And you noticed there was a little blood in your urine? And then you remembered that hookup a week earlier, when you didn't have a condom, but you were drunk, and you didn't really do anything that unsafe, but, well, you know? And so you went to the doctor, who told you — thank God — that it was just a random irritation, and you actually didn't have any horrible STDs? But it still scared the shit out of you, and so you stopped — at least for a while — with the random coked-up bathroom sex? And you were really, really careful about condoms?
We write lots of mean things about lots of people we'd love to see get some comeuppance. We run lots of leaked memos and internal communications, some of them rather embarrassing to the company from which they were leaked. What's truly remarkable is that someone was just moments ago fired — and it's someone we very much like — over an item that wasn't mean, that didn't attempt to deliver any comeuppance, and was in no way embarrassing to the company from which it was leaked.
Reuters and VNU presented a panel last night called "The Cult of Celebrity: Who's Using Whom," which featured Us princess Janice Min, medialand dark lord Michael Wolff, Hollywood Reporter columnist Anne Thompson, celebrated celebrity publicist Ken Sunshine, and, looking stunning, our better half. Fireworks were promised, and so was free booze.
