The hacking group LulzSec appears to be back, with a very timely hack of Rupert Murdoch's British tabloid The Sun—the sister publication of the dead News of the World. And they warn, ominously, that they've got emails, too.

Goldie Hawn and her longtime paramour Kurt Russell have been renting out their Malibu mansion for a little while, but now they've decided to just go ahead and sell. For a whopping $14.7 million.

A faded American favorite is getting a second chance, from the famous giver of second chances. Also today: bad news about Charlie Sheen, good news about a ghost story, and Breaking Bad breaks out.

Here it is, Rebecca Black's new single: "This Is My Moment." That she released it on a Monday says a lot about how ready she is to move past "Friday." Good luck with that!

Football brain! Marijuana narcs! Mosquito booze! Grandparents driving! Children sleeping! Teens drinking! Pediatricians lecturing! Big forks! And killer homemade drinks that kill! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—no-nonsensically!

And now it's done: after teetering on the edge of oblivion for months, once-mighty book chain Borders has announced that it is liquidating.

Remember Rachelle Friedman, the aerobics instructor whose bridesmaids pushed her into a swimming pool, resulting in paralysis and an inability to marry, lest her fiance's income push her over the limit for Medicaid? After a year of physical therapy and a series of charitable donations, she is finally getting married. The AP reports:

For all the talk about how Jersey Shore is the end of culture as we know it, an affront to all things great in the Garden State, and the destruction of their tourism industry, a new study found Jersey Shore has no impact at all on how many people hate the damn place.

cops were injured by "friendly fire" while trying to apprehend a child pornography suspect while he attended a midnight screening of the most recent Harry Potter movie. There are so many inappropriate "wand" jokes to make right now.

Hey did you know that county-level Medicaid administrators in Ohio aren't vigorously vetting the applicants who seek their services? Thank God for James O'Keefe, the only journalist in the nation with the sheer guts to tell this bone-chilling tale of county bureaucrats failing to diligently do their jobs.

Since her lawyers spirited her away from jail yesterday, nobody has seen Casey Anthony. As rumors swirl about private planes, disguises, and pseudonyms, Casey's lawyers will only say that "she's gone, she's safe, and elaborate plans had to be made to keep the people away from her."

Last night's episode of The Tan Without a Face saw everyone preparing for Christmas, hanging stockings with care and trying desperately to not get in another huge family brawl. Well, actually, they weren't trying that hard at all.

Imagine a bargain hunter's shock and dismay when responding to an ad on Craigslist listing a bunch of possessions for sale and then receiving an email announcing that gay people, Muslims, and illegal immigrants aren't allowed to purchase the wares. Read it for yourself.

Sean Hoare, the former News of the World reporter who was the first to come forward by name and accuse former NOTW editor and David Cameron adviser Andy Coulson of ordering widespread phone hacking, was found dead this morning.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez crash a wedding. Khloe Kardashian's husband mauls a pedestrian. Rachel Uchitel loses $10 million. Nikki Blonsky is the saddest washed-up celebrity in America. Monday gossip is the stuff of legend.

The boy wizard has broom-swooped through multiplexes one last time, and holly hippogriffs did he do well. Other stuff was in theaters too, of course, and it was a busy weekend overall, but Harry reigned hugely.

This actress got so sloppy at a local bar while on location she had an "accident." These married celebrities never have sex. And this singer broke up with her man because she's having an affair with another superstar. Who could it be? We're wetting ourselves with anticipation.

Tonight, ABC Family premiered Cyberbully (sorry, Cyberbu//y), a TV movie it hyped as a call to "delete digital drama." Which is funny, because Cyberbully itself was so hyperbolic and drama-filled that you'd think there wouldn't be any of it left lying around to get rid of, anyway.

Hey politically inclined ladies, do you have what it takes to join Putin's Army? By that we mean, are you willing to rip your clothes off in public to support the studly Vladimir Putin in his quest to become Russia's President again? If so, you might even win an iPad2!

Because nobody should be forced to endure an entire 30 minutes of America's most overexposed family every Sunday night, we'll be watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians for you and reporting back with a clip of each episode's most cringeworthy 15 or so seconds.