Astronomers using Hubble Space Telescope have discovered a new, 21 mile-wide moon orbiting Pluto. They're going to call it "P4" until they can come up with a better name for it.

It seems that some sort of internet trickster — a LMAO Loki, a ROFL Rumpelstiltskin — hacked into sad-puppy actor Zach Braff's five-year-dormant website and wrote a message from Zach announcing to his fans that he is a gay person.

Judge Pat Murdoch (pictured)—Albuquerque, New Mexico's top criminal judge—was arrested yesterday and charged with raping a prostitute, which is frowned upon in judicial circles. But this isn't just your boring, run-of-the-mill judicial hooker rape case!

One reason for Google Plus' explosive growth is its seamless integration into the other Google services everyone already relies on. But this might be its biggest downfall, too: If you screw up on Google Plus, you risk all your precious Google stuff being deleted forever.

The world's favorite newlyweds, William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Middleton, have moved into a two-bedroom cottage at Kensington Palace, the London residence of the royal family. Kate spent $1500 in air fresheners to get rid of the musty smell, but let's take a look around anyway.

Shellacked television impresario Ryan Seacrest is teaming up with America's fabulous gay cousin, the Bravo network, to create the next thing in "omg-look-at-those-ethnic-freaks" reality programming. It's called Shahs of Sunset and is about wealthy Persian people.

Puffy British game-show presenter Piers Morgan, who also hosts a show on CNN about Twitter, is in the spotlight these days because he formerly edited Rupert Murdoch's News of the World and a competitor called the Daily Mirror, and as such is prima facie guilty of hacking into everyone's voicemails all the time.

Larry Summers, the loudmouth former Treasury Secretary, knows from blowhards. So when he says Facebook losers Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss were some of the most arrogant "assholes" he met at Harvard, that's really saying something.

While I'd like to retire the word "douche" and its many derivations, that doesn't mean it doesn't have its uses. Just look at GQ, which published a new, revised list of the "Douchiest Colleges in America" today. So what schools made the list?

I finally pried last week's copy of the National Enquirer from Maureen O'Connor's cold dead hands and found this funny article that says Bravo honcho and America's gayest homosexual Andy Cohen wants to get gay married to Anderson Cooper, America's least eligible gay bachelor. Oh, sweet love!

Michele Bachmann addressed the anonymous sniping from former aides about her "incapacitating" weekly migraines at a campaign event in South Carolina yesterday, trying to put it to rest. And then some of her goons roughed up ABC News' Brian Ross. Hooray! And to think, it's not even August.

Matt Damon speaks for Brangelina. Brangelina feed their children crickets. Chris Brown parks in a handicap spot. Leo's mother advises against Blake Lively. Timberlake pulls a diva move. Wednesday gossip fights for its rights.

A leopard snuck into a a village in India yesterday and mauled 11 people before being killed. Looking at the terrifying pictures makes us feel pretty stupid for complaining about subway construction.

Birth control isn't free, my friends. I mean condoms cost a few bucks and then some of the fancier technologies that girls get cost—Christ, I don't know, but it has to run into the hundreds. So you can't expect the health insurance industry to bankrupt itself just to subsidize every lout's ability to fuck conveniently! Or can you?

This funny man's ex put his kinky sex tape online and is passing it to her Hollywood friends. These sibling stars are feuding over work. And this actor is showing signs of Alzheimer's. Good thing that sex tape is unforgettable.

If you're like everyone else these days, you occasionally ask yourself, "What's the dumbest way that can I blow some of my disposable income?" Remember when State Senator Steve Smith (the "birther bill" guy) hatched a plan to accept donations to help build a fence along Arizona's border with Mexico? Well, their website went live today!

Man, was that a gas or what? Two-plus hours of doddering and selective senility, with a surprise splosh party and French manicure attack thrown in for good measure! One day, we'll have a better understanding of what the Murdochian Inquisition meant in the grand scheme of things; but for now, let's just take a moment to savor the bounty of fresh memes it's produced. These memes to us be blessed, amen.

In the last 10 days alone, two different men have been arrested for vandalizing the entrance to the Ed Sullivan Theater, where the Late Show with David Letterman is taped. Scary! But at least Letterman is taking it all in stride, as you'll see in this clip from tonight's program, which features Today Show anchor Matt Lauer attempting his own theater break-in with a metal trash can.

The Bluegrass Fair in Lexington, Kentucky, has introduced a new, somewhat controversial attraction to their annual festivities: a Casey Anthony dunking booth!

Great white sharks are the largest, scariest predators in the sea. But they should stay in the sea. One shark didn't last week, and decided to see what it was like on a research boat.