It's been a very good year for Vic Gundotra, Google's chief of social networking. His project Google Plus hit 10 million users within two weeks of launch. But it almost took a horribly wrong turn in January, when Gundotra got distracted and nearly plowed into a stopped car on the highway.

Shortly after hitting send on his withering, now-legendary resignation letter, the former employee of a Toronto-area Whole Foods flew to South Korea to begin an exciting new career chapter, far, far away from sociopathic co-workers who walk into people. He has so far ignored our requests for comment—but you haven't!

The evil, teaparty-funding Koch Brothers do not appreciate their websites being bombarded by hackers. The FBI is targeting people possibly connected to a February Anonymous attack on Koch Industries websites, including a brutal assault on their powerful bathroom tissue manufacturing arm.

Everyone's favorite lawyer show has been renewed for a second season. Cue champagne! Also today: John Goodman will make you laugh, Mimi Leder will make you cry, and Haley Reinhart will make you...dance?

In April of 2010, Raquel Nelson and her four year-old son crossed a busy street near Atlanta. Her son was struck and killed, by a driver who "had been drinking earlier in the day while taking pain medication, was partially blind in one eye, and had two previous hit-and-run convictions." So naturally, prosecutors decide to arrest and charge Nelson with vehicular homicide, for jaywalking.

Petty criminals in Washington, DC are reportedly using Facebook and Twitter to plan raids on local stores, breaking new ground in idiotic criminal tactics.

'80s sitcom star Tony Danza is selling his surprisingly nice — I expected gold chintz and statuary — Malibu mansion, a whopping 3,000 square-foot seaside palace, for $9 million. Danza is reportedly moving to Connecticut to work as housecleaner. [Real Estalker]

There's a specific kind of person who thinks, after watching tons of procedural justice TV shows, that he could commit the perfect crime. And there's an even more specific kind of person who actually can. Enacting an elaborate plot to frame his ex-girlfriend for armed robbery, Queens resident Jerry Ramrattan almost became the latter.

It's almost that time of year: 9/11 time. One media outlet would like to commemorate the 10th-anniversary of our national tragedy with a "9/11/back-to-school fashion photo spread," whatever that means.

Why had no one thought to ask death-soaked bubonic replicant Donald Trump, America's foremost lover of declaring bankruptcy, about the debt ceiling until now? In retrospect, it was irresponsible to form a single opinion about the issue of raising America's borrowing limit before soliciting the advice of this prominent capitalist cartoon character, from television. What is to be done, Mr. Trump?

Mark Malkoff struggled heroically to get thrown out of an Apple store. Having a pizza delivered didn't do it. Bringing in a band didn't do it. Dressing as Darth Vader didn't do it. Not even the goat got him ejected.

You never read tech news, do you? Good. Somehow, the story of the accidental early release of a Facebook iPad app everyone was expecting is threatening to turn into a week-long saga. Make it stop! This is the most boring shit ever.

Olivia Pepper, "Student, NYU," has written a charming little ditty for the Huffington Post entitled "Why I'm Not Working This Summer." It starts with the most ominous opening sentence in the history of oblivious first person essays:

With all that fun British phone hacking news, you may have missed some exciting phone surveillance news here in the States. The NSA's lawyer says the U.S. government might have the authority to physically track Americans with their cell phones.

According to Ask Men's annual Great Male/Female Surveys, half of all straight men say they would dump a girlfriend who got fat. 20 percent of straight women say they'd dump a boyfriend who got fat.

Unfortunately we missed the premiere of the second season of Logo's gay housewives show The A List last night, but luckily we ran into Dustin and Jayden, Manhattan's most annoying homosexuals, and they were talking about what happened. Here's what we overheard.

Who are the real losers of this recession, besides "all of humanity in general?" We don't want to spoil it for you, but... not white people! Whew. From the NYT:

Oregon Rep. David Wu, a tigersuit-clad furry sex monster, apparently won't sit out the rest of his House term before resigning. He's issued a statement announcing his imminent resignation — just as soon as the debt ceiling debacle draws to a close, which it never will.

At the end of last night's fluffy-duffy speech to the public about the debt ceiling, President Obama urged everyone to call their representatives to request his "balanced" approach to deficit reduction, which apparently means $3 trillion dollars in spending cuts along with zero dollars in new tax revenue. What the hell was he talking about? Who cares! Because people too his cue, and are now breaking the phone system.

Here's a trailer for the financial thriller (such a thing exists in these economic crater times) Margin Call, a fictionalized look at the real story of the hours before the financial world near collapsed in 2008. Sounds exciting?