This little girl says Amy Winehouse was trying to adopt her. Miley Cyrus gets a gay marriage tattoo. Kellan Lutz still has candy from 2003, and eats it regularly. Kim Kardashian's fans freak her out. Monday gossip pulls an Angelina.

This was a weekend of strange creatures warring with each other and, though they don't seem remotely evenly matched, they actually kind of are! Also, Miranda July has done well for herself, as has Emma Stone.

This A-lister wishes people would stop speculating about her "baby bump," since she's having a hard time conceiving. Also today: bisexual actresses gone haywire, another on-set romance, and an actress in peril. No, she's not pregnant out of wedlock.

The 18-year-old arrested on Scotland's remote Shetland Islands for allegedly wreaking online havoc as the wisecracking spokesman for the hacking group Lulz Security was bailed out today. Jake Davis aka "Topiary" (we think!) emerged with his eyes well-shielded from the international spotlight.

You've probably wondered what happened to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from The Hills, haven't you? Well, The Daily Beast caught up with the two, who are now broke and living at Spencer's parents' house in Santa Barbara. Theirs is a sad, cautionary tale of two kids who get filthy rich for no real reason, act like complete assholes on television, and then regret everything when the money dries up.

Corporate Twits is an internet jokester whose shtick is to send prank tweets to corporate Twitter accounts, then post their responses to his Tumblr. Usually, they are very friendly and apologetic (like this exchange between Applebees and a supposedly obese woman who was reserved service). But a bad-taste tweet to JetBlue about 9/11 anniversary specials went a little too far in the friendly direction, earning a bizarrely sincere response from the airline. So, stay posted, I guess?

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. From the Kardashians in Los Angeles to Joe Jonas in Paris to Hugh Jackman in St. Tropez, here are some of the more amusing shots from the past week.

"I'm gonna go back stage for a second, I'm gonna vomit, I'm gonna drink a beer and I'm gonna come back out and play three more songs." And that's how Kings of Leon frontman Caleb Followill cut short their Friday appearance in Dallas just halfway through their set, leading his band members/kin to apologize profusely to the crowd (video of the apology here). Was he drunk? He claimed not, saying it was the extreme heat at the Gexa Energy Pavilion — where apparently very little energy is expended on air conditioning — that shot his voice. But tweets from the other guys in the band told a different story, including one from Caleb's brother, bassist Jared Followhill, that read: "Dallas, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. There are internal sicknesses & problems that have needed to be addressed. No words."

San Diego's San Onofre State Beach has long been a mecca for nudists looking for a genital-scorching day by the sea. But state park rangers have been cracking down on them lately, and the Camp Pendleton Marines Corps that leases the land to the state — and uses the neighboring Gold's Beach to train recruits in amphibious assault — has found itself dragged into the dispute, the LA Times reports.

Venezuelan leader and Leo Hugo Chavez has been trying to beat The Cancer for a while now, which has led some people to question his ability to run for reelection next year. This exercise propaganda vid should quash their pessimism right quick.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid tentatively signed on to a debt-ceiling deal, likely drawing to a close an unnecessary and wholly embarrassing episode in American history. Here's an outline of the not-quite-finished deal, if you want to ruin your Sunday.

Brian Pollard of Kentucky received just a four-day jail sentence for a drunk driving-related crash that killed his passenger, because everyone forgot to tell the judge and prosecutor about the passenger, somehow. Pollard could face additional charges. [Image via AP]

As if you needed additional proof that today's youth have no knack for having fun, two 18-year-old UK men have just been busted for essentially failing to appreciate the scantily-clad women who appear in their nation's deodorant and movie ads.

Not to be preachy, or anything, but, if you ever find a "brick of an unknown substance" floating in the ocean, you should "just say no" to snorting it. Especially if you are a 53-year-old on a fishing trip.

Perhaps the only thing worse than discovering spiders hiding in your Domino's pizza is biting down on your Pizza Hut pizza and finding a Band-Aid caked with dried blood in your mouth. Of course, the latter could never happen, right?

Activists say 136 people were killed today in Syria, including 100 in the third-largest city, Hama—the subject of a "major assault" seemingly intended to "pre-empt" protests during Ramadan, which begins tomorrow. [AJE]

The vegan philosopher Morrissey tells us that "meat is murder," and for our vegetarian purposes he's correct. But murder is also murder, which is why you can't shoot your drug dealer even if he brazenly gives you hamburger instead of weed.

There are so many reasons to have kids! One of the not-great reasons is the best is probably "so you have someone to drive when you're wasted." Like Billy Joe Madden, who slept off a bender while his 8-year-old son drove his truck. On a highway. From Mississippi to Dallas.

If Hilton hotel guest Rodney Harmon had known that the USA Today left by hotel staff outside his door wasn't free, he wouldn't have read it. But he did read it, and the hotel charged him the 75-cent fee, so now Harmon's suing Hilton hotels in federal court.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a very awkward birthday with Maria Shriver. Al Pacino's got family trouble. Ashton Kutcher stole Will Smith's trailer, we think. Yes! It's Sunday gossip.