An alarm brought firefighters to Blue Heron Farm — the $50,000-a-week, 28.5 acre property on Martha's Vineyard where the Obamas have spent their summer vacations since 2009 — early Tuesday morning.

In case you haven't noticed, it's been a really hot summer. But that didn't stop Rush Limbaugh from declaring the heat index a government-created liberal fallacy, or prevent the esteemed hosts of Fox & Friends from suggesting Nickelodeon is using SpongeBob Squarepants to indoctrinate children to believe in that whole global warming "hoax." And while most people with half a brain laughed at them, Stephen Colbert used tonight's Report to defend his science-hating friends. Video of Colbert's segment is above.

Earlier this year, aerial photos of a newly discovered tribe living in Brazil's Amazon rainforest electrified the internet. Now that entire tribe, numbering around 200, has gone missing—and a panicking Brazilian government fears that cocaine smugglers are to blame.

When Newsweek unveiled the cover of its current issue this past weekend, all eyes immediately focused on the eyes of Michele Bachmann and the insane expression plastered on her face.

A year and a half after dumping longtime boyfriend Tim Robbins, actress Susan Sarandon is moving. What's she getting for her $1.75 million? A nicely-sized one-bedroom with a terrace, not to mention a great location in the Village "just a few blocks from SPiN, a ping-pong bar/eatery in which Miz Sarandon is an investor." An investor, yes, of money, but also of her heart: Sarandon is, of course, dating the youthful table-tennis entrepreneur Aaron Bricklin, one of the club's founders. The living room is 374 square feet—it'd be snug, but you could definitely fit a ping pong table there. [Real Estalker; photo of Sarandon & Bricklin via Bauer Griffin]

Hackers are not particularly well-known for having coherent, well thought-out plans, but, man, this one might really take the cake: John Joaquim III has been arrested and accused to taking control of a friend's Facebook and Gmail accounts and demanding that she send him nude photos as ransom.

There are a few guidelines to being a successful blogger: Update frequently. Promote your posts on social media. And don't describe Sen. Joe Lieberman as "one Jew, who we absolutely must shoot in the face (many times), ASAP."

Barely a month ago, thousands of rioter pictures were funneled to the Vancouver police via Facebook, Twitter and the broader internet. The internet dragnet seemed novel at the time. But now the same sort of viral manhunt is underway in London.

Sure, England's been convulsed by riots likely to have devastating social and economic impacts for months, but at least a funny meme is coming out of it.

Today we learned that Lauren Bush, daughter of Neil, will take the last name of her new husband David Lauren, son of Ralph. So she's Lauren Bush Lauren! Amazing. Just think of the weird possibilities with a name like that. Actually, some of you did think of them.

It's always nice when an airplane articulates your thoughts for you—like the plane flying above Lower Manhattan today trailing a huge message: "THANKS FOR THE DOWNGRADE. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED."

Daniel Edwards, the insane Brooklyn-based sculptor behind masterpieces as Suri Cruise's bronzed poop and Britney Spears giving birth on a bear rug is back. Now he's installing a nude statue of pop power couple Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez in an adult film store in Dallas.

Hackers have reportedly broken into Norway shooter Anders Behring Breivik's email account and turned the contents over to police in an effort to help their investigation. See, hackers aren't all amoral cybermonsters.

According to a Harvard psychiatrist, about 25% of psychiatric patients don't have anything wrong emotionally, just physically, and treating their illness can cure their mental problems. So, you're not depressed after all, you just have lupus, Lyme disease, or maybe cancer. Yay!

As Hollywood is, duh, out of ideas, they're digging up a 24-year-old classic. Also today: the Smurfs will rise again, Mirielle Enos finally gets out of Seattle, and good news for Sarah Chalke.

As looting and rioting continues across London for a fourth evening, residents are steeling themselves for another night of mayhem. Here's what parts of the city looked like before nightfall, as officers battled rioters, fires continued to burn, and optimistic store owners began the cleanup process.

The worst show of the new season is on ABC and is called Work It. It is unbelievably horrible. Even the 90-second trailer is too long to tolerate. This thing puts Cop Rock, Viva Laughlin!, and even That Show With Heather Graham that Got Canceled After One Episode to shame. Behold!

Triathlon danger! Heat death! Twin town! Crazy leaders! Spermless mosquitoes! Teen vaccines! Worthless soy! Old surgery! And the very latest way that you're killing your poor children! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—microscopically!

In 1984, Apple was the humanist underdog freeing us from Big Brother IBM. At 2:30pm today, Apple became the biggest corporate behemoth measured on any market. Keep buying sweatshop iPhones so Apple can continue its tracking and liberation campaigns!

Fred Karger looks like a presidential candidate. He sounds like a presidential candidate. Hell, he is a presidential candidate — the only (openly) gay one currently in the running, who's now polling neck-and-neck with Newt Gingrich for the Republican presidential nomination.