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Harold and Kumar 3: The Christmas One

Max Read · 08/10/11 08:19PM

Here's the trailer for A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, which is, yes, the third Harold and Kumar movie to grace our multiplexes. It is, as you may have guessed, a Christmas movie shot in 3D.

Missing Tourist Shows Up with Op-Ed in North Korean Newspaper

Max Read · 08/10/11 07:25PM

Hey, has anyone seen Dutch stamp collector Willem van der Bijl? He went to North Korea in July to buy some of the country's stamps, and his family hasn't heard from him since. Oh! There he is! In the Pyongyang Times, extensively praising North Korean elections in a personal essay!

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is a Full-Time Hooker

Richard Lawson · 08/10/11 05:35PM

Scott Wolf's girlfriend is getting into the escort scene. Also today: Game of Thrones casting news, a terrible idea for a remake, and Kevin Bacon has a face for radio and TV.

Christian Louboutin Can't Stop the Inevitable Flood of Red-Soled Shoes

Brian Moylan · 08/10/11 05:27PM

A Manhattan judge denied an injunction today brought by luxury shoemaker Christian Louboutin who has been trying to prevent Yves Saint Laurent from selling shoes with red soles beginning this fall. Guess those pumps you paid way too much for just depreciated in value.

Sarah Palin's Bus Tour Is Back On

Jim Newell · 08/10/11 05:01PM

Three million cheers for Sarah Palin! Here we were just a few minutes ago, sorting through the doldrums of August political news and economic chaos, when suddenly the monster from Wasilla announced that the long-promised Part II of her Tour de Grift bus ride will proceed through the Heartland starting later this week.

Love of Wal-Mart Moves Man to Masturbate in Public

Brian Moylan · 08/10/11 04:47PM

A 28 year-old in Louisiana was arrested for driving around a Wal-Mart parking lot with his penis exposed and leering at women entering and exiting the store. When stopped by police and asked about his state of undress, Travis Keen "stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart. Keen stated when he comes to Wal-Mart he gets aroused."

Stephen Colbert's Super PAC Releases Its First Ad

Jim Newell · 08/10/11 04:21PM

Stephen Colbert's "Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" Super PAC has released its first television ad in Iowa ahead of this weekend's Ames Straw Poll. Colbert has decided to endorse the non-attending Texas Gov. Rick Perry as a write-in, but spelled "Rick Parry." What else... the ad has some jokes and stuff in it? We don't know, just watch it and think whatever you think.

Mysterious Orange Goo Identified As Your Mom

Hamilton Nolan · 08/10/11 04:19PM

Goo analysis! Fetal sex! Science mistakes! Alien search! Lamprey death! NASA crafts! Undersea volcanoes! Solar flare! And the brutal ennui of the Mars Rover! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—down to its gooey center!

Hacker Plot to 'Kill Facebook' Is All a Terrible Misunderstanding

Adrian Chen · 08/10/11 04:15PM

The internet is quaking with the news that the hacktivist collective Anonymous plans to "destroy" Facebook on November 5th. We spoke to the Anonymous member who was there at the start of "Operation Facebook," and he told us the whole thing is a misunderstanding that's spiraled crazily out of control.

Even the Trailer Parks Are Nice in the Hamptons

Richard Lawson · 08/10/11 04:07PM

If you're spending your whole summer being jealous of people with mansions in the Hamptons, you need to start being jealous of people who have trailers in the Hamptons. Because the trailers there are nice!

Mark Zuckerberg's Enemy Fled the Country

Ryan Tate · 08/10/11 03:38PM

Paul Ceglia has decamped to Ireland in the middle of his lawsuit to seize control of Facebook. The convicted felon says he fled following harassment from Facebook private investigators. But maybe Ceglia, described by neighbors as a con man, is more worried about the suspicious emails he submitted as evidence.

Old School New York Was Charming, Boring

Brian Moylan · 08/10/11 03:23PM

Here's a vintage 1962 filmstrip about all the technology and innovation in New York City. How exciting and Don Draper! Too bad most of the video is about an insurance company changing offices. Wake me up when we're in the bankrupt '70s.

NYPD 'Social Media Unit' to Facebook Stalk Criminals

Maureen O'Connor · 08/10/11 03:17PM

Steel yourself for what will surely become the most sedentary spin-off Law & Order yet: The NYPD has announced the formation of a new division, the Social Media Unit, which will solve crimes by Facebook stalking people. Assistant Commissioner Kevin O'Connor (no relation) will head up the unit.

Matt Damon and Other Celebrities Who Should Be President

Richard Lawson · 08/10/11 03:13PM

True to sensationalist form, provocateur documentarian Michael Moore has made a public declaration that Matt Damon should run for president, because popular people win elections and Matt Damon is popular. He's not wrong! But let's not stop there. Plenty of celebrities should be commander in chief.

What Is the Point of Thomas Friedman?

Jim Newell · 08/10/11 02:49PM

There is much glee on the ethereal plane high above the Bethesda clouds from which New York Times columnist Tom Friedman writes his column today. We're treated to his latest venture into despondent centrist wet-dream fanfic, in which the Mustache of Understanding imagines a world where political parties don't have bases, but still manage to dig deep, treat each other politely, and deal with false problems in bad ways through their own sheer purity of will.