What's the main problem with the American economy? You, okay? You, and people like you. As an average drone, your job is very simple: you go to work, you make money, and then you spend all of that money on consumer products. Repeat until dead. But you can't even get that right.
Some lady broke her hand on Matthew Fox's face trying to keep him from getting on a bus. Jay-Z was not happy that Chris Brown was performing at the VMAs, Gwyneth Paltrow refused to wear makeup to her book event, and Larry David could be a home wrecker. Monday's gossip is not on the list.
This Oscar winner had a public meltdown because he couldn't remember where his phone was. This A-list actress put a social fatwa out on her rival's head. And this actress had a secret baby in her past. Yes, she does remember where she left it.
The summer's feel-good hit just keeps chugging along, like it or not. Meanwhile three new films failed to drum up much business, possibly because of the storm, possibly because no one cared.
Coverage of the war in Libya has exposed an incredible amount of atrocities — by both Qaddafi loyalists and rebels. And the video report below, by CNN's Dan Rivers, is yet another awful addition to the formers' crimes. Rivers visited a vacation home that belonged to Muammar's youngest son, Hannibal, and his wife Aline Skaff, a Lebanese former model. There he found a woman who was essentially a slave to Hannibal and Aline, and was repeatedly tortured. Hannibal — whose party crew recently included Beyoncé and Usher — has a long history of beating servants and general scumbaggery. So while it's not surprising that he and his wife would abuse this woman, what Aline did to her is horrifying.
Poor Vermont! Even though it's America's 47th least-horrible state and a magical place of ice cream and cows, Tropical Storm Irene has been abusing it mercilessly. Severe flooding has submerged homes under brownish water, destroyed charming bridges, and taken a life. This video shows the Brattleboro farmer's market as it appeared on Sunday: like a river with broken tents floating in it.
After getting into an argument with his girlfriend and leaving her house, 26-year-old David Bustos allegedly returned to Chez GF, entered the place (very quietly, one assumes), got out his electric hair clippers, and began cutting off her hair while she slept. That's pretty psycho.
Because nobody should be forced to endure an entire 30 minutes of America's most overexposed family every Sunday night, I'll be watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians for you and reporting back with a clip of each episode's most cringeworthy 15 or so seconds.
Beyoncé and Jay-Z are expecting a little babyoncé, as the radiant mom-to-be herself announced on the VMA red carpet. She's already got a baby bump and at least one pregnant-lady tent dress, which she wore tonight. [Image via AP]
Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of the more amusing shots from the past week.
While some television reporters bravely ate toxic sea bile and stayed strong in the midst of surprise penis invasions while reporting from the front-lines of the Irene War, others were frightened by the very thought of hurricane-tainted waters. Watch as this reporter, embedded in Asbury Park, N.J. and decked out in what appears to be a full-body weatherproof suit, runs from the puniest of ocean waves. Whoah! Let's get out of here!
The 2011 MTV Video Music Awards just kicked off with an angry anti-Lady Gaga monologue by... Lady Gaga, dressed as male alter ego Jo Calderone. Gaga/Calderone followed up the monologue with a performance of "You and I," excerpts of which—including reaction shots from Britney Spears and Justin Bieber—you'll find above.
Come one, come all, and join us as we watch the 2011 MTV Music Video Awards! The black carpet pre-show special is airing right now, and the actual VMAs will begin live at 9:00 PM ET. Here's your open forum.
Police in Norway have arrested another man whose hobbies allegedly include stockpiling weapons and explosives and espousing extreme right-wing ideologies. So far police haven't identified any connection between the man and Anders Behring Breivik, the right-wing extremist responsible for the July 22 bombing in Oslo and shootings on Utoya Island that left 77 dead.
What makes Kimberly Garrity the worst mother in the world, according to her children? Well, when they were growing up she gave them birthday cards with stupid tomatoes on the front, forced them to wear their seat belts, and refused to take them to car shows. This caused them suffering.
Restaurants in New York City have been tweeting their Sunday brunch offerings, not their structural damages reports. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is declaring "the worst" to be over. A few city streets were flooded, but it wasn't that bad, and the vast majority of people who live along Irene's blustery path up and down the East Coast have survived. How can this be?
We all express our altruism in different ways—it's part of what makes us human. Robert Johnson of Vero Beach, Florida likes to give back to his community by strolling along the beach while completely naked. It's what he calls "helping."
As she's made her way northward, Irene has temporarily transformed the landscape of hundreds of American towns and cities—flooding streets, submerging homes, and downing trees. Take a look at what the storm has left behind. [Image of Baltimore, Maryland via Getty]
