British teacher Benedict Garrett was given a reprimand for working as a stripper and porn star while also serving as the head of personal, social, and health education at a high school in East London. Yup, that's right, the sex ed teacher was a porn star. But although he was reprimanded, he will be allowed to resume teaching.

Here's a trailer for the long-lost but finally found Kenneth Lonergan movie Margaret, made six years ago but just now getting a release because of various legal problems. But it's here! Finally. And it looks strange.

Ray-J confronts Kris Humphries on an airplane. Kim releases a video of Kris caressing her butt. Lindsay Lohan gets a Billy Joel tattoo. Marc Anthony says his love life "is not a funeral." Alyssa Milano gives birth to her baby. Thursday gossip fucked your wife.

The good folks at NMA TV have run our scoop about Bill O'Reilly getting the Nassau County Police Department to investigate his wife's boyfriend through their magical YouTube machine. Watch the results above. It involves Fox News launching a tank assault on Gawker Media's headquarters.

She's always hyping her diet program, but it's really the surgery that got this leading lady to shed the pounds. This couple is about to break up and this actress is upset she's getting asked to play moms. Maybe it's time for a different sort of surgery.

Urban Dictionary has become an invaluable internet resource for anyone looking to crack the ever-evolving slanguage of the streets. Where else can you learn the difference between a "pink pancake" and a "Belgium biscuit," while picking up a handy term for that thing where you Facebook request someone you just met at a party, all in a single visit? Now even the po-po have gotten jiggy to its 411, or whatever.

Snooki made her debut as a news anchor today on some AOL site that hasn't yet been renamed "HuffPost [Subject]." And while we're still deciding if the Jersey Shore star has a knack for reportage, she's definitely got a fan in Anderson Cooper, who spent a few minutes on tonight's AC360 fawning over his "little cutie Couric." Video of the segment is above.

Meet Ortis Deley. You've probably never heard of him, but in England, he's fairly well known as the affable host of a TV gadget show. Channel 4 thought they'd give him a shot at the big leagues: Hosting the 2011 International Association of Athletics Federations World Championships in Daegu, South Korea — a major track and field meet that the network was airing for the first time, after 27 years of BBC coverage.

The last time we checked in with Susan Boyle, she was completely choking on The View. But on tonight's America's Got Talent, SuBo returned with a vengeance to debut "You Have To Be There," the first single off her upcoming album—and she was pretty good! Video of the performance is above.

A Sycamore that stood for decades in Greenpoint's McCarren Park and dubbed the "Vagina Tree" for the way that its trunk — and there's really no delicate way to put this — resembled a Tyrannosaurus rex's ladyparts has been felled by Irene, The Brooklyn Paper reports.

It's pretty easy to spot German tourists in Las Vegas, as they're usually the ones in socks and sandals occupying the buffet lines at the Paris. But one recent German visitor to America's vice capital left with a bellyful of something else entirely: blow.

Newly minted Dancing with the Stars contestant David Arquette was on tonight's Late Show. Arquette talked to David Letterman about being sober from alcohol, reconciling with estranged wife Courteney Cox, being enamored with fellow DWTS contestant Rob Kardashian's "great ass" (it's true, his ass is pretty spectacular), being scared of Nancy Grace, and more. But mostly, he just giggled. A lot! Check out our video of the interview's best four minutes above.

Arizona, which we are still not convinced isn't a hoax, is the home of not one but two of our nation's finest lawmen: Squat fascist Sheriff Joe Arpaio and sex slaver Steven Seagal, who is starring in a reality TV show where he... is a policeman, sort of. Well! Now they are both getting sued for killing a puppy.

President Obama, who had asked to address Congress at the same time as next week's Republican debate, will acquiesce to the Speaker of the House's request that he speak on Thursday instead. The address is about "jobs," whatever those are.

Wikileaks has always had a healthy sense of self-importance—one that seems, at least in part, well-deserved. But there's something uniquely hubristic about accusing a major newspaper (and former collaborator) of "gross negligence or malice" over the release of 251,000 unredacted top-secret cables—when the fault lies with the website itself.

Bears! Everyone agrees that they need to be put in their place. But only one woman in America is brave enough to do so: Brooke Collins of Juneau, Alaska, who punched a bear in the face to save her dog.

Facebook might call it a settlement, but there's no question that the gigantic social network is effectively surrendering to scrappy Austin, Texas mockery hub Lamebook. The two sides have ended a federal lawsuit with Lamebook keeping its name and Facebook-like logo, and Facebook slinking back to California.

Though some have tried to stop her, the lady isn't budging. She's gonna keep on going. Also today: Bravo makes a bad decision relating to Real Housewives, and Mike Tyson finally gets someone to pay attention to him.

Jennifer Aniston has somehow tricked another man, writer/actor Justin Theroux, into her tear-stained bed, and now they're shacking up together in a rented Beverly Hills mansion that's rather quaint by Aniston's lavish standards.

Donald Trump is going to Australia this September, and he's invited a select group of business leaders to meet with him while he's there. Oh, except he's expecting that they'll pay at least $10,000 just to hang out with him.