Despite the defiant source who today told the LA Times the DreamWorks/Reliance deal could yet fall apart, we think we'll just go about retrofitting our office anyway in preparation for the worst. Like "custody battle" worst, as Claudia Eller mentions in parsing the 'Works divorce from Viacom/Paramount: Who gets Ben Stiller? Who gets Eddie Murphy? Who gets the retiring David Geffen's parking space and the office's unparalleled catalog of faxable lunch menus? And who gets the movies?

When Caroline Tell, the Accessories Market Editor for Women's Wear Daily, was arranging an interview Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to talk about their new jewelery line for their Elizabeth and James label, she was surprised to hear, from their publicist, that she was not to refer to the famous acting and entrepreneuring twins as, well, twins. Or even as sisters.

James Franco, star of the upcoming Pineapple Express, made a face after smelling something akin to rotten eggs at the Art Party at the Whitney Museum. However, he was quick to deny that he had any responsibility for the overpowering odor. Franco said, "That was not me, man. Don't place the blame on me. I know that you're looking at me like I did it, but nope. Not me." Franco was unable to come up with a source of the foul stench, but did point a finger in the direction of the media outlets at the event.

OK, so that didn't happen. But were you going to watch this video if we billed it as "Antonio Sabato Jr. recreates some of the most famous hood ornaments of all time on NBC's ghetto, circus-themed reality experiment?" Every time we tune into Celebrity Circus, we feel like something really awkward and sad just happened the second before—like that weird French contortionist judge lady just broke the news to Rachel Hunter she has trapeze cancer or something. Everyone's always crying and looking down at the floor and snapping at each other. Then they cut to a training video, and Stacey Dash is sliding into an MRI machine and her Hammock of Death partner is standing in a hospital waiting room, tensely explaining that things don't look good. You get the point. This is not fun! This is nothing like a circus! These Z-list celebrities clearly don't want to be there. Would you really want to told by a panel of circus freaks that you failed to maintain a convincing smile while rotating 360 degrees in a little-person gyroscope? Let's face it—this was a terrible idea. [Celebrity Circus]

Having nowhere to go but down, this summer's reality TV-infested schedule is getting back to basics, revisiting the kinds outrageous gross-out stunts spawned by early goat-scrotum-consumption adapter, Fear Factor. ABC's Wipeout, currently previewed in promos running ad nauseam on that network, requires contestants to run a treacherous gauntlet filled with boulder-sized versions of the terrifying red dodgeballs of our youth. But G4 goes one better with their July entry into an already crowded people-doing-really -stupid-shit-on-TV field, with perhaps the greatest gag-reflex competition ever mounted: Hurl! From ABCNews.com:

Shame on anyone — anyone! — who would dare trivialize Anne Hathaway's recent break-up with entrepreneur and check-kiting hobbyist Raffaello Follieri as anything but a natural process of hearts drifting apart under the intense pressures of careers, fame and/or state investigations. And can't a nice girl just stay friendly with her notorious ex without facing insinuations she's manipulating their relationship on the week of her new film's release? We mean, really, Page Six — what's so wrong with that?

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Sex and the City: The Movie—already a sacred Women's Studies text, pored over on campuses throughout the country as the prototypical example of early-21st Century "shoe-me" feminism—has found itself on the receiving end of some of the most petty and vicious critiques of any movie in ages. There was Rex Reed's NY Observer review, in which Reed spent the first 90 words obsessing over Sarah Jessica Parker's chin growth, and likened to the cast to "plow mules in lipstick," and Anthony Lane's subtler ("...thudding closeups of her slurping through a cocktail straw or swallowing a mouthful of guacamole..."), but no less nauseated, take on the film's middle-aged stars in the New Yorker. Now, approaching its fourth week of release, the hits keeps coming. From Page Six:

The day after DreamWorks was deported to the Asian Subcontinent was a bittersweet one around town — unless you're Steven Spielberg, we guess, who is a few signatures away from finally sticking it to Viacom, or maybe if you're CAA, which had previously wooed the Works' deep-pocketed Indian investors at Reliance ADA to throw money at projects for George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey and a few of the agency's other heavy hitters.

This may come as a shock, but we have some troubling news to report: it seems that the Double Dating, Non-Eating foursome of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and power duo Posh 'n Becks differ in one key regard. As opposed to TomKat's demure sartorial choices, from their first public motorcycle ride to their wedding attire to Katie’s current desire to wear dresses with hemlines as long as possible, their British counterparts just love showing us some skin. As People reports, frosty-locked David has been confirmed to appear in yet another glossy ad campaign for Armani, in which the soccer star will continue to contort his Adonis body into poses highlighting his too-good-to-be-true physical assets. Since the new pictures coincide with recently released oddball shots taken of permanently deadpan wife Victoria Beckham for Marc Jacobs’ Spring/Summer print campaign, we took a nostalgic (and arousing) look back at just how many times the Beckhams have admirably sold their bodies for bundles of cash. Enjoy the various real and fake body parts belonging to Britain’s most rare creation: a real live hot couple.

The Fly star Jeff Goldblum ushered in a bold new era in male fashion: going shirtless. Goldblum was unsatisfied with the quality of tailored shirts and just decided to go without one. Goldblum said, "I'm not sure it's as much of a fashion statement as it's a form of protest. Designers need to bring something more to the table if they would like their wears to grace this finely sculpted body." However, the Earth Girls Are Easy star left the Bev Hills boutique with a large bag, which was quite possibly full of shirts. When asked about his purchase, Goldblum replied, "I'm going to give these shirts a test with the ladies over at the Polo Lounge. Then we'll see if this shirtless fad continues."

We can now joyfully report that Jamie Lynn Spears, 17-year-old sister to Britney and an accomplished children's TV star in her own right, has delivered her first child at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb, Us reports. It's a healthy girl, named Maddie, weighing in at 7 lbs., 11 ounces. New-Spears-Family-Member fun facts after the jump!

We'll take any opportunity we can get for a furlough from our shackles at Defamer HQ, so off we go to the Los Angeles Film Festival, which opens tonight with the world premiere of Angelina Jolie's emaciated-assassin actioner Wanted. Maybe not the gritty, funded-by-credit-cards entry you'd expect from fest organizers Film Independent, but that's what the rest of the event is for; running until June 29, this year's LAFF is enticing enough for us to call in sick at least a few days, maybe even all of next week.

Clive Barker's legions of horror fans have gotten their barbed-wire panties in a bunch. At issue is Lionsgate's release plans for their adaptation of Barker's short story, The Midnight Meat Train. Despite the story being a fan favorite, and a satisfying trailer (mmm...yuppie chops!) featuring the U.S. directing debut of Japanese horror maven Ryuhei Kitamura, new studio president Joe Drake bumped the movie from its May 15th date—which allowed The Strangers to clean up as the only R-rated horror option of the weekend. It was a curious strategy shift, to say the least, and not the least bit helped by a significant conflict of interest. Or as Deadline Hollywood Daily puts it, "Guess who was exec producer of The Strangers? Joe Drake." Fansite shocktillyoudrop.com, meanwhile, has since discovered the grim truth of what's become of Meat Train's remains:

· Forget gay marriage—we're waiting for domestic/employer marriages to be legalized, so that Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis can finally make an honest woman out of his frittata-serving lifemate, Zoila. [Bravo]
· Jerry Seinfeld's lawyers are now accusing cookbook author Missy Chase Lapine of craftily switching lawsuit terminology from "comedian" to "actor" to help her defamation case, which to us suggests they're getting desperate. [AP]
· Charlie Sheen feels just awful about using the N-word in some voicemails he left Denise Richards three years ago. He would also like to stress that that doesn't at all lessen his desire to see her nudged off the side of a hot air balloon basket. [ET Online]
·Ah, UTA Joblist, how far you've tumbled: Paradigm is now slumming it on Craigslist in search of assistants. [Craigslist]
· A moose head in your bed will be the least of your problems when you cross Canada's ruthless Salmon Mafia. [CNN]

Crash-survivor Ryan Phillippe has recently invested in some real estate—a sprawling, 8,300 square-foot mansion in the Hollywood Hills, to be exact, which reportedly cost the actor $7,175,000. Some details from the LAT:

After attending a New York movie screening with rumored new boyfriend Justin Bartha last night, it appears that Ashley Olsen is about to finally make her new relationship public. And after years of tracking the Olsen Twins, we have to admit that we are more than a bit mystified by how these two ended up as a couple. The deliciously handsome actor, sort of memorable from National Treasure (for those of you bold enough to admit you've seen it), is about to become far more memorable after appearing opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones in next year's The Rebound. But more on our new crush this guy later. The question we can't quite answer yet has to do with both Olsens and their laundry list of former flings. Never failing to shock, both Mary Kate and Ashley have one of the most eccentric, baffling and WTF dating history between them. We examine each of their previous love interests in an attempt to figure out what exactly they find attractive, why they pick who they pick, and upon discovering quite the few lookers in the bunch, why these guys pick them, after the jump.

Two percent doesn't sound like much of a quantity on its face, but it's apparently more than enough room for studio execs to rejoice after recent box-office scans reveal this year's grosses are slightly up from those of Summer 2007. Observers attribute part of the bump to "better-than-expected" openings for films like Kung-Fu Panda, Sex and the City, The Happening and The Incredible Hulk, with the latter film's $55 million opening rounding out Marvel Studios' blockbuster tandem with Iron Man.

With Lindsay Lohan hard at work on the set of her new film Labor Pains, we thought it was high time to reach out to her in an attempt to find out how life's treating her these days. We came to find out that, in a twist that echoes the `80s classic Sleepaway Camp, living Lohan hasn't always been a walk in the park for everyone's favorite firecrotch. And we also find out that there may have been more in those cokepants than just, well, coke. Your evening To Do's follow after le jump.

After a bumpy spring protecting and investing their billion dollar baby Miley Cyrus, today brings news that there may be additional troubles brewing over at the Mouse House. 15-year old Selena Gomez, the rising star of the newest Disney series Wizards Of Waverly Place, whose elevator pitch was most likely "Gossip Girl Meets Harry Potter Meets Charmed But Like, Happy!," is reportedly usurping the scandal-plagued Cyrus' dimming star power. Quietly crowned “The Next Miley Cyrus” by various newsies, the Miley lookalike (minus gummy smile, plus premature Jolie-level hotness) plays Alex, whose painfully ironic mantra is "cast magic first, ask questions later." But the turbulence among competing teens trying to catch their big break by stepping over their peers left and right is a trend as old as the Mousketeers’ first dimpled disciples. After the jump, we count down our top three favorite teen feuds of yesteryear.