· George Clooney's production company Smoke House has set up a pilot at Showtime called The Fall of Bob, a comedy about a guy whose life flashes before his eyes as he jumps off a building. We bet we know how the series finale ends! [Variety]
· Vin Diesel VehicleWatch! 20th Century Fox has bought Rip X, a pitch for an action movie in the vein of The Fast and the Furious. [Variety]
· Ready for the next Ugly Betty? Tough! Fox has ordered a pilot based on the hit Argentinian telenovela Lalola, about a "womanizer who is transformed into a woman — and must endure the same kind of abuse he used to dole out." [Variety]
· Laurie Metcalf joins the cast of The CW's Easy Money, and Anne Archer will star on Privileged on the same network. No word yet on what actresses they are looking at for coming-of-age teen drama Gobs and Gobs of Really High Currency. [THR, THR]
· Hilary Duff joins Winona Ryder, Sean Astin, Chevy Chase, and Jon Cryer (definitely a dream cast in some era), for Stay Cool, a "knowing-your-age comedy" from the Polish Brothers. [THR]

At long last we came to the family visits episode on last night's The Bachelorette, where husband-hungry Bachelor ejectee DeAnna Pappas—befuddled by how her stunning Mediterranean looks and alternately vacant and needy personality has yet to bag her a man—was practically smacking her lips as she assessed the studding viabilities of her four final suitors. Would she settle on freespirited snowboard instructor Jesse, strongly silent real estate attorney Jeremy, wholesome single dad Jason, or guy-she-really-wants-to-bang Graham? While we're still several weeks away from learning who the lucky guy is, we do know which of the four it won't be: That's right, it's Graham, whose aloofness and off-the-charts nail-ability carried him this far into the competition, but who ultimately never quite slobbered enough to convince Pappas that some sparkly hardware would be making an appearance at her moment of Gazebo Redemption. May the best rose-holder win.

After a long intro confirming both her stoner-film creds and her susceptibility to Mary-Kate Olsen's fashion influence, a new profile of actress Olivia Thirlby eventually got to the real news: Jack and Diane, Thirlby's long-gestating teen-lesbian-werewolf reunion with her Juno pal Ellen Page, will not be coming soon to a theater near you. We know, we know — a true shocker, but as Thirlby alludes, it's the kind of tough call that a young, sexually ambiguous Oscar-nominee just has to make:

In a wide-ranging radio interview conducted before literally tens of adoring fans, Jessica Simpson seized the opportunity to clear up some outlandish rumors: namely, that stage father Joe Simpson is a little more hands-on than necessary. Said the newly-styled country singer to K-FROG (via Us Magazine):

It was relatively slim pickings at the festival Monday, especially after Guillermo del Toro's live-in-person monster-rhapsodizing was pushed to Thursday and alas, we missed our 4:30 screening about transsexuals in Colorado. Plan C seemed reasonable enough: Drop by the Geffen Playhouse to see a father-son chat between Ivan and Jason Reitman, in which we figured we might catch Dad's jealous flare-up over Juno's success or Son's symbolic shove of his old man into the shadows at stage right. We got neither, though Jason did come clean about that whole nepotism thing.

The work of "Big Picture" columnist Patrick Goldstein accurately reflects the LA Times' dedication to producing nothing but the hardest of hard-hitting entertainment journalism: his columns, which run the gamut from "Here Is An Old Producer I Had Lunch With" to "This Focus Group, Made Up Exclusively of Ten-Year-Olds from Brentwood, Has a Lot to Teach Us" can always be counted on for a kid-gloves examination of this city's major export. Though Goldstein is persona non grata in the blogosphere for deriding the effect blogs have had on print journalism, it may not surprise you to learn he has now become that which he hated most. Says FishbowlLA:

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

There are certain ways to tell that you've spent too much time in hipster-ridden Silver Lake: like, say, when the audience gasps at Emile Hirsch's dramatic weight loss at the end of Into the Wild, and all you can think is, "Hot. He'd fit right in at Spaceland." Through this admittedly skewed lens, a Silver Laker might look upon these new photos of a slimmed-down, tatted-up Colin Farrell with a steady chant of, "One of us. One of us." But what do our friends across the pond think? The Daily Mail, unsurprisingly, approves:

Now that the new season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List has begun, we've had a chance to spend some quality time with the comic and her much-trotted-around billionaire boyfriend, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak. Sure, we know the two have already broken up, but observing them interact—behold the clip above, in which a Segway training session is as tender and romantic as a shared plate of spaghetti in Lady and the Tramp—at least gave us some inkling into what made their much-buzzed about relationship work while it lasted. But now comes the shocking!—OK, not all that shocking—news that Griffin and The Woz never, you know, actually...did it. From usmagazine.com:

When last we left the Hogan family (though can we leave them if they won't go away?), parents Hulk and Linda had split up, and it wasn't pretty. Daughter Brooke accused the Hulkster of piledriving one of her friends, while cougar Linda fell into the arms of the 19-year-old pool boy. What's next for an estranged, straw-haired couple bored of screwing their children's dopplegangers? Elaborate, imaginary crimes:

As nestled as Will Smith is in the so-called "Fluke Zone," where his stardom is bulletproof and his films are fail-safe, he wasn't taking any notoriety for granted last night on The Late Show. There, in a tender promotional moment for Hancock, the actor warmed to David Letterman's compliments by leaning in for a kiss that quickly escalated into a brave new world of gay, interracial sex overtures. It wasn't always this easy for Smith, of course, who over a decade ago was talked out (by Denzel Washington, no less) of his man-kiss with Anthony Michael Hall in Six Degrees of Separation; such newly open-minded gateway intimacy augurs great things for future late-night trysts sure to culminate, as all self-reinvention must, in sex with Jimmy Kimmel. [CBS]

While everyone just assumed it was Michael Jackson that Corey Feldman was referring to when he and Corey Haim played a game of childhood-sex-abuse one-upmanship on The Two Coreys—a dark series of admissions that coincided nicely with that reality show's season premiere and the upcoming release of The Lost Boys 2—it turns out that the Bubbles-Toting One played no part in the scarring recollections. Feldman revealed to GQ that the the abuse came at the hands of his assistant, back when Hollywood assistants' hands weren't already occupied with Blackberrys and Venti Lattés. From Page Six:

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

It should have by all accounts been a joyous time in the Raffaello Follieri-Anne Hathaway household—she, starring in the #1 movie in America, he, setting up a variety of high-stakes shell-games around the globe and reaping their unsavory rewards. Could the pitter-patter of little Raffaello feet—fleecing daycare mates out of their snacks under the guise of a Third World milk-and-cookie drive—have been far behind? Of course, it wasn't meant to be. Raffaello was the target of a New York State Attorney General's Office investigation, and Hathaway—likely after an all-night handling team intervention that culminated in an exhausted junior P.R. agent shouting, "You've got to leave him, Anne! If not for you—for Prada 2!"—finally broke things off with him. Raffaello, Manhattan prosecutors announced today, has been arrested on wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering charges. Oh, and there's also that little white lie he told about being God's hedge fund manager. Oopsies!

· We defy you to watch Tyra Banks's Daytime Emmys acceptance speech for Best Talk Show (Informative) without getting a little bit moist-eyed. We especially liked her shout-out to Oprah, whose crown she's clearly claiming. You usurp, girl! [Tyra]
· Well, that was fun while it lasted: "This site has been closed. LucasFilm has asked us to remove this site. We have enjoyed seeing the tens of thousands of users over the past several days, and thank you for your interest." [StarWarsCrawl.com]
· Vassup! 105 people were invited to become voting members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, including Sacha Baron Cohen and Judd Apatow. [oscars.org]
· Dody Goodman, aka the fumbling Rydell High P.A.-system-xylophonist Blanche from Grease, also passed yesterday, at age 93. [USA Today]
· Heidi Montag has a single called "Fashion." It's the "greatest song of my life," says partner Spencer Pratt, who suffers from a rare neurological disorder which causes him to love the sound of a cat being cranked through a Vocoder-equipped meat grinder. [Us Magazine]

Molls was alone, sitting with her empty glass. Her four walls, follow her through her past. She was on a Los Angeles train, she emerged in heavy rain. And you, the loyal Defamer audience, were waiting there, swimming through apologies. She remembers searching for the perfect words, she was hoping you might change your mind. She remembers hipsters sleeping next to her, riding on the Metro.

Just when Hollywood has seemingly runs out of ideas, it appears that the city of Los Angeles has also run out of dateable men. Two of Tinseltown's most eligible bachelorettes, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, have searched far and wide for the right arm candy, only to wind up scraping the bottom of the boy barrel. And their respective plights have gotten so dismal that the "sex-obsessed" blonde and "clingy" brunette are now swapping leftovers. As we already know far too well, Aniston has been gritting her teeth through this summer's most mysterious celebrity relationship with John Mayer, one of Diaz's former flings. And rumors earlier this month linking Diaz to a certain cokehead model have gained credibility after the actress was photographed out and about with the pretty-but-pretty-dumb Paul Sculfor. But the tale turns even more tragic: yet another sorry excuse for a man has nailed both A-listers, and managed to walk away the winner:

File this under "films we didn't know existed": though minor details like the plot, cast, and shooting schedule are still under wraps, Rob Zombie has already released the teaser poster for his upcoming film Tyrannosaurus Rex. Rumored to be based on a Zombie co-written comic book called The Nail, Tyrannosaurus Rex appears to star Zombie repertory members Danny Trejo and Sheri Moon Zombie, though all that can be confirmed thus far is that the film is "51% Motherfucker, 49% Son of a Bitch." Of course, there's a chance that Rex could be an elaborate ruse on the level of Werewolf Women of the S.S., the fake trailer Zombie contributed to Grindhouse, but we prefer our glasses half-full — and filled with flaming dino heads.

At a LAFF panel on Sunday, filmmaker Mike White was discussing the vagaries of screenwriting with fellow directors Catherine Hardwicke (Thirteen, Twilight) and Craig Gillespie (Lars and the Real Girl), trying to narrow the enduring creative gap between an indie like The Good Girl and a studio picture like the 2003 Jack Black vehicle School of Rock. "I actually just completed a draft of what's potentially the sequel, and I'm still, like, crying as I'm writing the script," he said. "I try to come at it from a personal place—"

Now comes that portion of the broadcast where we break from our hard-hitting coverage of celebrity lingerie purchases and NBA ass-tastings to focus instead on what really matters: Bringing you, the lot-bound drone in desperate need of human connection, in contact with your perfect match. We turn to the always-fertile singles' mingling grounds of Craigslist for our latest bachelor offering, a pent-up fellow currently finding it hard to concentrate on his duties at Sony Culver Studios [NSFW] :