Fresh off her VMAs victory and rumored reunion with Kevin Federline, Britney Spears continues to pound the comeback trail like it was a naughty windshield in need of a good pummelling-by-umbrella. Her latest salvo is the new single "Womanizer," the first track off her upcoming album Circus. According to Us Weekly, Spears started shooting the video this week in Los Angeles under the guidance of "Toxic" helmer Joseph Kahn, donning a wig (another reunion!) and straddling a businessman in what's being called "erotic" choreography. In the meantime, we have the single right here — have a listen (and a Cheeto). [Us]

When Rome burned people enjoyed watching the fiddler, and now that this country is more effed than ever before, we enjoy watching SNL. According to a new report in Variety, “SNL has experienced a hefty bump in the Nielsen polls this election season, boasting a 50% gain over last season’s first two episodes.” The political climate has to be the reason, because it certainly wasn’t Michael Phelps’s mush-mouthed delivery or the searing star power of James Franco that got people to tune in. No, it’s because the cast of characters who parade across CNN on a daily basis are so ripe for parody. There’s McCain, Palin, Hillary, and Obama, and all of them are just begging to be made fun of.In fact, SNL’s brand of political comedy is so hot right now, that NBC’s gonna give you the opportunity to choke on it. Not only are there four original episodes in a row to lead off the season, but starting on October 9th, there will be three special primetime Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday editions, which will run behind The Office. Will they really be able to get Tina Fey to do her Sarah Palin impression that many times before she has to return to 30 Rock? We hope so, because Darrell Hammond’s McCain and Fred Armisen’s Obama are kinda meh. Of course, it’s not just SNL that’s reaping the benefits of all the political insanity. Variety says,"The Daily Show is coming off its most-watched week in history, averaging 1.9 million viewers last week — up 28% from last year.” And Colbert and Real Time With Bill Maher are doing great too. At this point, network executives must be trying to get this election postponed indefinitely so they can keep making fun of it. Sound crazy? Well, McCain did just suspend his campaign. Hmmm...

It looks like John McCain will be heading to tonight's presidential debate after all (according to this priceless pool report from McCain's plane, which also states, "General atmosphere is utter confusion"), but one no-show is continuing to cost the candidate, and that's McCain's now-notorious skipped Late Show appearance. David Letterman continued to rip into McCain during his monologue yesterday, even conscripting guest Paris Hilton (who had her own memorable run-in with McCain) into the proceedings. Meanwhile, executives at CBS News are up in arms about the live news feed Letterman tapped into on Wednesday night's broadcast that showed McCain getting made up in advance of his Katie Couric interview:

· Helen Mirren will trade in her two-piece for a gun in The Debt, a remake of an Israeli hit about a Mossad agent who comes out of retirement to track down a war criminal. [Variety] · TNT fell for the old "Buy a Bruckheimer, Get a Wahlberg For Free" trick, not realizing it negotiated for Donnie's new Boston cop procedural Bunker Hill. Gotta read those contracts, gang. [THR] After the jump: Salma Hayek storms Fox, Jeff Zucker reassures nobody, Earl's preem crashes.· Completely over the success of Ugly Betty, executive producer Salma Hayek's budding media empire will next overtake Fox with the multiethnic family comedy The New McToms. [THR] · At an exec powwow in London on Thursday, noted NBCU economist Jeff Zucker insisted that his network's value to GE "only increases if there is less coming from the financial divisions." And the Olympics? "We measure success in ways that are far greater than the bottom line." Indeed, this man has all the answers. [THR] · And not to pile on, but last night's My Name is Earl and ER premieres were down 29% and 20%, respectively, from last year's bows. But that's OK — maybe NBC doesn't measure success that way, either. [The Live Feed] · Director Gary Fleder has reupped with ABC to helm every episode of every ABC series produced through the end of time. Or television, whichever comes first. [Variety]

Our country is self-destructing before our very eyes. Banks are collapsing, wars are raging, politicians are canceling their appearances on Letterman, but at least we can still rely on true love. That’s right, on last night’s hour-long season premiere of The Office, we finally got the satisfaction of seeing ... um, well, something that can only be described as an epic spoiler. Fans of The Office who dutifully tuned into NBC last night, please follow along after the jump to continue the conversation. Those of you who DVR'd it, well, you might want to continue along to another post.Where were we? Ah yes, we finally got to see ... Jim pop the question to Pam! And don’t let the fact that it happened on a dingy highway rest stop in the middle of a rainstorm fool you, it was totes romantic. Not quite as romantic as that Tim and Dawn kiss from the original British Office Christmas Special, but still, pretty good. Get your Kleenex ready and check it out.

As if suffering through Righteous Kill and a stultifying Letterman Top 10 weren't career punishment enough for Robert De Niro, the actor has found himself the subject of just-leaked phone calls between Quentin Tarantino and Harvey Weinstein during the making of Jackie Brown — and the conversation paints the supposedly money-grubbing De Niro in a light more unflattering than the entirety of Rocky & Bullwinkle:

Click to viewBoomp3.com Mega movie star Will Smith celebrated his 40th birthday in grand style as he went to town on a bag of Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos. Smith munched on a bag of the triangular taste explosions while taking in his son's football game. However, the former fresh prince of Bel Air's spent most of his time at the game making sure Dorito dust didn't land on his sharp white shirt. Smith said, “That’s what pants are for!” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your indispensable guide to what's new, noteworthy and/or totally doomed this week at the movies. Today we welcome Shia LaBeouf and his million-dollar pinkie back to theaters alongside Spike Lee, Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Charlize Theron and Kirk Cameron (!), while facing a robust litter of potential arthouse underdogs and DVD release for the agoraphobes among us. As always, our opinions are our own, but if Josh Groban can steadfastly see it our way, shouldn't you as well?WHAT'S NEW: Shia LaBeouf reunites with his Disturbia director DJ Caruso for the thriller Eagle Eye, featuring our young hero as a man trapped (alongside Michelle Monaghan) in a mysterious mire of surveillance, espionage and murder also featuring Billy Bob Thornton and Rosario Dawson. Hitchcock comes up in more discussions of the film than he doesn't, with the rap being that Eagle Eye represents North by Northwest to Disturbia's too-influential-for-comfort Rear Window, but that's just adults being adults. The kids will toss rose petals and dump around $30.6 million out their wallets, further anchoring LaBeouf as his generation's most bankable star without a driver's license. Congrats, Shia! Meanwhile, that generation's parents can shuffle into the auditorium next door for the Gere/Lane reteaming Nights in Rodanthe, adapted from a Hallmark card novel by Nicholas Sparks with enough inoffesnsively creaky cliche and Mom Jeans-wetting romance to attract around $13.1 million. Also opening in limited release: The Palahniuk adaptation Choke; the Charlize Theron-led propaganda ensemble Battle in Seattle; Tim Robbins' and Rachel McAdams' Iraq-themed The Lucky Ones; Wayne Wang's modest immigrant mish-mash A Thousand Years of Good Prayers; the misanthropic Easter bunny comedy Hank and Mike; the race-baiting terrorism saga Shoot on Sight (tagline: "Is it a crime to be a Muslim?"); the Filipina-tranny doc The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela; and the lyrical, Indie Spirit Award-winning drama August Evening. THE BIG LOSER: It's not like we actively root against films around Defamer HQ (all right, maybe that one time; it had it coming), and we really would like to see Spike Lee pull off Miracle at St. Anna, his epic WWII semi-mystery focusing long-overdue attention on the Army's 92nd Infantry Division — the only all-black unit to see combat in Europe. He may yet do it with Disney's micro-marketing prowess, but let's be honest: The reviews are brutal, it's 160 minutes long, it's rated R, it rotates between English, German and Italian, and at least a quarter of its intended audience is likelier to defer to one of two sturdy holdovers — Burn After Reading or The Famliy That Preys. If this breaks $5.5 million, we'll be shocked. Sorry, Spike; there's always Inside Man 2.

· After getting booted from Dancing With The Stars last night, famed '80s bohunk Ted McGinley —whose unfortunately high-pitched voice was the only thing separating him from being one of the most dominating leading men of that decade— gave what will soon come to be recognized as the most humiliatingly pathetic concession speech in reality television history. Look on the bright side of things, Ted; at least you still get laid more than Jeffrey Ross. [DWTS] · Looking for the silver lining in our nation's near total economic collapse? Those glass-half-full kids over at USA Today compiled this dandy list of ten films inspired by past instances of financial ruin. [USA Today via MCN] · Sometimes, the title of a video says it all: "Horse takes a dump on stupid ladys head." [YouTube] · It's been some time since we've mentioned Attack Of The Show's impossibly shiny-haired Olivia Munn. But after we saw this sentence hits ou RSS ("Got home from work and fell asleep for a few hours… I woke up with two things on my mind: pie and blogging about pie. This is my story."), we realized it was high time for that streak to be broken. [Hey Olivia!] · We realize we just touched on Shenae's smoking habit like two posts ago, but this picture of her walking through a parking lot after buying not one, not two, but SIX (!!!) packs of Marlboro menthols is about as fierce as it gets. [Just Jared via Skeet On Shenae]

Vacancy: Just days after the creators of Do Not Disturb sent out a letter to TV critics apologizing for “being the perpetrators of such bad television,” their show has become the fall season's first cancellation. According to EW's Michael Ausiello, the Jerry O'Connell sitcom (which aired only three episodes) will be replaced by reruns of 'Til Death. Elsewhere on the dial, Ben Silverman pet project Knight Rider premiered third in its time slot despite having the highest viewer awareness of any new NBC show. Perhaps audiences realized that KITT is kind of a bitch? [EW]

(UPDATE! Shenae Grimes's rep Holly Shakoor claims the blog entry attributed to her client below was written by an impostor. God, Adrianna, is there no end to your sabotage? That Spring Awakening thing was so your own fault!) Sure, 90210 lead Shenae Grimes might seem to be all smiles these days, but underneath that perma-grin is a world of teenage angst. Bashed by Us Weekly and Penn Badgley for being too thin, the actress has taken to her Myspace blog in an attempt to defend herself. Like a big, juicy meal that will remain uneaten, Grimes prefers not to be picked at, ultimately concluding, "I'm sorry if you dont like it, but this is who I am":

BREAKING: The Los Angeles D.A. won’t be filing DUI charges against Shia LaBeouf. After his rollover crash back in July that left him with a gimpy hand, he was cited for driving under the influence but never taken into custody. And now the D.A. says, “We have formally rejected filing DUI charges because of insufficient evidence.” (Translation: “We totally know that little brat was wasted, but we can’t prove it!”) Instead they expect to file charges against the other driver involved in the accident. Now, Eagle Eye just has to open at number one this weekend and Shia will really have a reason to celebrate. [E! Online]

When Clay Aiken showed up on the cover of People this week announcing to the world that he is, in fact, a gay American, most of us —save the Claymates— processed the relatively unsurprising news and went about our lives. However, while on the radio this morning, Ryan Seacrest couldn't help getting snarky on his old pal when he sarcastically dropped the line "In other news, water is wet and ice cream is cold" while discussing the news. Needless to say, this irked our Intrepid Defamer Videographer Molly McAleer more than a little. Listen to her tear the frosty tipped mogul a new one (and get your evening's To Do's) after the jump.· Atmosphere at the Wiltern. · Megapuss at the Troubadour. · Digital LA - Digital Drinks at the Roosevelt.

Exchange Rate Flummoxes Elvis: Last we heard from former NY Times film critic and contributor Elvis Mitchell, he was explaining away the undeclared $12,000 that border agents seized from a cigar box last April in Detroit. All is forgiven, however, we're learning today — or rather, 51% percent is forgiven, as federal authorities agreed today to return exactly $5,880 to Mitchell. "If we believed it was from an unlawful source, or intended for an unlawful purpose, we would not have settled the case," said a prosecutor, who declined to say how the feds came to 51-49 split. A punitive lesson in currency exchange, perhaps? Guess away after the jump. [AP]

And by “hit,” we mean go to “couples counseling with.” You heard right: hot on the heels of Britney’s triumphant/manufactured MTV comeback, the National Enquirer is reporting that she and K-Fed are “undergoing couples counseling to rebuild their relationship in the hopes that they can raise their two sons as a family.” What’s more, “part of their therapy involves going on formal dates and Britney is so excited. She’s never stopped loving Kevin or hoping they’d get back together.” While we appreciate any occasion for K-Fed to wear his "fancy" trucker hat, and further, are pleased for young Sean Preston and Jayden James, we still think getting back together might be a mistake.Remember several years ago when Britney was fairly normal and we were all horrified that she hooked up with a total douche like K-Fed? Well, Britney is the most normal she’s been since then—she’s in good shape, she’s hard at work on a new album, she’s kind of got an acting thing kinda going—and getting back with Federline could derail all that. In fact, it could be argued that her relationship with K-Fed is what sent her into a downward spiral in the first place, so we just hope this therapist knows what he’s doing. In the meantime, we’re gonna hold out hope for Justin Timberlake to dump Jessica Biel, kick K-Fed’s ass to the curb, and get back with Britney so they can regain their crown as the king and queen of uptempo-R&B-flavored teen dance pop. Thank you. [Photo Credit: Getty Images]

The three-year distribution match made in the mildly optimistic spirit of convenience between MGM and the Weinstein Company was set to expire at the end of this year, but the Lion isn't waiting around to box up the furniture. A day after Kevin Smith's associates blogged that MGM had yanked its logo from the marketing materials for Zack and Miri Make a Porno — one of the few remaining titles it planned to distribute for the Weinsteins — new reports have surfaced saying that MGM has dumped everything but the Sam Jackson/Bernie Mac effort Soul Men back on Harvey's lap. And yes, that includes The Reader, which Harvey wants for Dec. 12 despite his mortal mogul Scott Rudin's insistence otherwise. Gasp! What now?It's fairly speculative for now, with MGM reportedly acknowledging the break-up to The Business Sheet and TWC staffers cranking the Muzak lest they hear the press ringing their phone ringing off the hook. (Or, more officially, Weinstein reps were not available for comment.) What we do know is that Harvey isn't capitalized enough to market and distribute Porno, The Reader and any of the five films in between — The Road, Killshot (a recent shelf-rescue capitalizing on star Mickey Rourke's Wrestler buzz), Fanboys, Crossing Over and Shanghai — without some outside help. And that's not counting the putative Oscar campaigns planned for at least The Road and The Reader, the latter of which film's embattled '08 release (it's not even finished, for Christ's sake) is looking decreasingly likely by the day. We're also tempted to wonder what kind of hand Rudin might have had in pulling MGM's plug, but let's face it: He's too busy for sabotage, and the fraught MGM/TWC relationship didn't need him to push it over the cliff when Harry Sloan and Harvey were disintegrating just fine by themselves. Moreover, MGM has its own December delivery to worry about with UA's bumped-up Valkyrie — even more potential awards-season fodder (or so it hopes) that didn't need competition from Kate Winslet's own WWII Nazi drama. And its not like these were blockbusters; MGM did all right collecting its cut from joint releases like the $70 million sleeper 1408, but what does it lose hacking off The Road or Zack and Miri — an R-rated comedy with stick figures on the poster — at the knees? Answers are forthcoming, believe us. For know, all we really know for sure is that this totally screws up our bold prediction for Harvey's return to supremacy.

Bounced from E!, the TV Guide Channel, and even Stylelist.com, times have been tough for red carpet commentators Joan and Melissa Rivers. For this week's Emmy ceremony, the two were reduced to vlogging for MyHollywood.com, though the deal came with one potential upside: their patter was supposed to receive a link from AOL. However, higher-ups at AOL changed their minds when they got a gander at the footage where Rivers calls some of Hollywood's most beloved stars (including Tom Hanks, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Heidi Klum) "Nazis." Said Rivers to Page Six:

Click to viewBoomp3.com There’s a new doctor in a Brentwood ready to serve all your psychoanalytical needs. Oscar winner Halle Berry has shifted into the self-help area as she continues to recuperate from recently giving birth. Berry’s decision to move into self-help was inspired by another self-help guru, Dr. Phil. Berry said, “I’m smarter than Dr. Phil. So, I could probably do a better job than him. Not to mention, I’m a lot more compassionate than he ever will be.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Picture it: You’re an 18-year-old kid from Massachusetts and you make a few YouTube videos of yourself singing humorous songs about math and banging old ladies. All of a sudden they start getting millions of hits. Then you get signed by Gersh and 3 Arts. Then, you perform at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal. Then you sign a 4-album deal with Comedy Central and film a special for the network. Then, to top it all off, Judd Apatow wants to produce a musical comedy that you’ll write the script for and star in. Did I mention that you’re fucking 18?! Well, all of those things happened to Bo Burnham, and if that doesn’t make you feel like an unaccomplished schmuck in your 20s or 30s then nothing will.Yes, according to the Hollywood Reporter, Mr. Burnham is currently in “negotiations with Universal to write and create the music for a comedy that Judd Apatow will produce. Burnham also could star in the project. The film is being described as a sort of anti-High School Musical, though it is not a parody.” Ugh. Burnham may be a talented guy, but we need to nip this trend in the bud pronto, people. If we don’t, soon we’re gonna hear that the Chocolate Rain guy will star in a Spike Lee “joint,” or that Chris Crocker will be the subject of a new Gus Van Sant bio pic. And if you find out that the Dramatic Prairie Dog scored a first look deal with Paramount, then you officially have my permission to kill yourself.

Arguably the first film to pack sex, autoasphyxia and colonial American angst into the same tidy bundle,Choke (opening Friday) features Sam Rockwell as Victor Mancini, a generally kindly sex addict whose professional pursuits include sponging off benefactors who happen to have saved him from choking. In his off-time, he susses his father's identity from visits with his ailing mother (Anjelica Houston) and a doctor (Kelly Macdonald) who reckons Jesus had something to do with it. Strippers, anal beads and hormonally charged 18th-century reenactments round it out — perhaps the very least one might expect from an adaptation of the prodigiously perverse Chuck Palahniuk. But it's a sturdy fit for the adventuresome Rockwell, whom we cornered for a few minutes of his busy '08 (also including Frost/Nixon later this fall) and another round of Defamer's ongoing Five Questions:DEFAMER: Look — Fox Searchlight gave us souvenir anal beads! Aren't they great? SAM ROCKWELL: Those are great. This is a classy movie. DEFAMER: No doubt. Victor has enough compulsions to require about a dozen different levels of research — sex addiction, choking, mother issues, etcetera. What did you prioritize here? SAM ROCKWELL: Obviously we read the book a lot. [Director] Clark Gregg and I rehearsed a lot; he was very well prepared; he's an actor, which is great. He's sensitive to this. I went to seven or eight sex addiction meetings. I met a sex therapist; we talked a lot, and he showed me a documentary. I try to do a little bit of research on everything, some more than others. But sexual addiction is more like a food disorder in that you're really filling a void; it's different than any kind of alcohol or narcotic abuse. DEFAMER: With that in mind, did you ever play devil's advocate with this — that sex addiction is more in the mind of the beholder? SAM ROCKWELL: I've been working with an acting coach for a long time; he and I go to therapy, and we talk about that in our work. It's kind of like Alfie or Tom Jones, but we're psychoanalyzing this Casanova in a comedic way. A real Casanova is not a guy that looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney; they're normal-looking guys in this very depraved world. It's not as glamorous as people think. Sex addiction can go from compulsive masturbation to prostitutes to people who've been sexually molested. It's a serious condition; it's nothing to be laughed about. But I think we respect the condition and are able to joke about it at the same time. DEFAMER: We've been following you since In the Soup, in which you portrayed Steve Buscemi's mentally disabled neighbor. Sixteen years later, the "full retard" backlash is on from all sides. As someone who skillfully portrayed disability before it was Oscar bait, what's your take? SAM ROCKWELL: Well, look, they're totallly missing the joke. It's about actors and awards shows. I thought Leonardo DiCaprio did it really well, but at some point you have to let the research go and intuitively daydream and just let your imagination go. It's a matter of taste really. Do you respond to Forrest Gump? I do. I respond to what Dustin Hoffman does in Rain Man. Hoffman tells a story about Midnight Cowboy where he found the limp for Ratzo Rizzo. He put his foot in like this, and he got all these letters from handicapped people afterward saying, "That's the most ridiculous limp I've ever seen — you're making fun of us." So you try to be as responsible as you can be, but it's just an artist's interpretation. [Tropic Thunder] makes fun of the actor's process and the hype that goes around it. DEFAMER: When you take on Palahniuk, you're inevitably taking on Fight Club. Were you apprehensive about having to follow a classic? SAM ROCKWELL: Absolutely. But the advantage we had is that this is the anti-Fight Club. This is a low-budget film. We don't have special effects or bells and whistles. This is a different kind of movie. It's an independent movie in every sense of the word. It's like Harold and Maude or The Fisher King and think of it as a different tone; Fight Club is darker. We've got a heavy subject, but we've also got anal beads.