· Here's a photo taken just minutes ago of Padmé Amidala, aka Natalie Portman, phone-banking on behalf of Obama. It's not too late! You can still join her on her phone-banking crusade to defeat the evil Empire in these last crucial hours! · So we've been entertaining ourselves around Defamer HQ today by sending fake CNN headlines back and forth, some of which we've collected for you here. They're a lot funnier after you haven't eaten for eight hours and just blogged about human wrecking balls. · We can't guarantee this sticker will get you free Krispy Kremes. In fact, we're pretty sure it wont. [via BoingBoing] · A reader sent in this photo of MTV's John Norris, subject heading: "that wig has to go." That's all we know. · OK—we can't stand this anymore. We need to start watching the returns. Hopefully we'll all be bright, shiny, and happy tomorrow morning. Gawker has quite the liveblog discussion group going on—head over there and contribute your two cents. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night!

The responsibility of raising a veritable petting zoo of exotic children would be burdensome for any parents, but to do so while toplining four or five studio pictures per year is just thankless. Especially when those movies are fraught with the kind of violence and distress saturating the work of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the latter of whom walks us through the delicate duty of parsing real brutality and war from the pop-culture pugilism of Mommy and Daddy's films:

Not going to tie yourself down to a couch and watch the results trickle in? Well, no one said you had to: · Election Night Music Round-Up: Jagermeister Music Tour featuring Hinder at the Wiltern, HoneyHoney and The Sweet Hurt at the Hotel Cafe, and Diplo, Abe Vigoda (?), Telepathe, and Blaqstarr at The Echoplex. · The Edison hosts the Cause On The Rocks: 'I Voted!' Party. Dress is "upscale casual," the most hopeful of all dress codes. · It's Hockey Night in California at the Staples Center as the Los Angeles Kings take on the Anaheim Ducks. Prepare for Elisha Cuthbert to boo when necessary.

Ghetto Fabulous Out The Vote! 11/4 — Eve & Lil' Kim, walking their dogs and voting together in Hollywood, possibly after a hike. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Sure, there are other things on TV tonight, but the election is not like the Super Bowl. Bragging about how you didn't watch the results to catch up on your Netflix as some sort of hipster protest will not win you any friends. Our Founding Fathers are already spinning in their graves because a minority could be President. Don't make them spin faster with your apathy. WATCH Election Night in America [3 PM, CNN] - You have a lot of choices for election coverage - Couric, Williams, Hume, some dude with white boy dreads on MTV - but CNN is where it's at. From John King's interactive map to Anderson Cooper's perfection in all aspects of being, the network is pulling out all the stops tonight. If this election is as lopsided as we hope, you'll want to be awake to watch Wolf Blitzer climax in his slacks as he excitedly tallies the electoral map when someone reaches 270.TiVo

Hollywood PrivacyWatch UPDATE: Monica Lewinsky Spotted! Our tipster who earlier spied Intern Hall of Famer Monica Lewinsky waiting to vote outside the LA Tennis Club was just corroborated by another operative who preserved the moment in pictures. The tipster writes of delays pushing two hours, but let's face it: Waiting all morning to cast her ballot is the least Lewinsky could do for the American political process. Literally. Click through for a blurry cellphone glimpse of today's local milestone in democracy.

There comes a point in every cable network exec's career when they stare long and hard into a bathroom mirror, and ask, "I've already greenlit a show called Hurl! that pits players against each other in a battle to retain the contents of their stomach. Where is there left to go from here?" Well, if you happen to work at G4, the answer lies outside the box—or the home, car, hotel room, airplane fuselage, or any structure brothers Craig and Paul Pumphrey are willing to destroy using nothing but their own bodies. We'll let the Human Wrecking Balls press release take over as we gingerly step out of the way:

How do you know when campaign season is over? Maybe when the boldest idea of the week comes from film and TV critic Marshall Fine, who argues today for the termination of TV series after one year. Even the hits! (Especially the hits, in fact.) And we might even sign on — with a few exceptions.Fine's logic is exactly that: literal and emotionally detached from the enduringly riveting qualities of shows like Mad Men, 30 Rock, The Simpsons, Grey's Anatomy and a handful of others. But wouldn't the outrage following those and other great programs' predetermined self-destruction after 12 or so episodes would be preferable to their having eventually squandered their legacies on so-called stunt-casting and/or firing controversies? Doesn't going out gracefully a la Rome or The Wire allow for a better fan memory (and presuppose a bump in DVD sales)? Can't we avoid syndication hell with Friends and Two-and-a-Half Men? Yes, yes, and yes, writes Fine, who points to the UK as an example of doing things right:

Animal Magnetism: Seth Rogen's had to make some mainstream concessions to get in fighting shape for The Green Hornet, but they're nothing compared to how he responded to the threat of a Zack and Miri sex scene. "I shaved my back just in case," he told WENN. "I went fully bare, like a two year old. I was ready. I didn't want to be too real for the world. I don't think the world is too ready for a hairy back in a love scene." We'd make an easy Robin Williams joke here, but Rogen beat us to the punch: "Has there ever been a sex scene with Robin Williams? People don't want to see that. That would border on bestiality." [OK!]

Hey, all! Just a friendly message from Defamer HQ, reminding you to get out there and vote—if not for a brighter future for your children and coddled pets, then at least so you can send in a steady stream of primo celebrity sightings from your local polling stations. Let your voice and stealthy eavesdropping skills be heard! [Defamer Decides]

An internet report from a self-proclaimed "McCain strategist" claiming Joe the Plumber got busy with Kristin Wiig following the SNL afterparty—and also discussed becoming the next Bachelor with Ben Affleck's agent, Patrick "Something"—is now looking more and more to be a hoax, hoisted upon a gullible and Wiig-hungry gossip nation. The report came from a man calling himself Martin Eisenstadt—the proprietor of his very own, very-hard-to-come-by website bearing that name—and was picked up by the likes of Slate before internet skeptics and lovers of Sue the Surprise-Loving Lady alike started poking holes in the story:

A Gawker tipster brought word this morning that liberal firebrand/trail mix smuggler Tim Robbins caused a scene at a Manhattan polling place today, accusing the poll worker of voter intimidation until a volunteer called the police. Now, Robbins has done what's expected of every responsible citizen whose democratic rights are in peril: he's blabbed all to a TMZ paparazzo!According to Robbins, the polling place he's used for the last decade didn't have his name on the register, and he certainly wasn't about to fill out a provisional ballot like a common plebe! Sadly, Robbins handled the issue not with pleasant, Bob Roberts-style folk songs but with a high-octane argument that brought the NYPD (though they couldn't prevent him from decamping for City Hall to find a judge who could prove his case). Was the actor simply listed on voter rolls under "Tom Ribbons," or is this a Susan Sarandon-aimed revenge from jilted New York senator Hillary Clinton? Developing!

Today is one freighted with fateful questions for America, perhaps none more so than, "Where's Kirsten Dunst?" But after being tipped last month to her early-voting rendezvous in Norwalk, which she fled after doing her civic duty to both cast her ballot and urge the paparazzi to do the same, we turn to KiKi's pursuers at the Associated Press for the must-read follow-up from... North Dakota?Dunst is tagging along with filmmaker/real estate scion Jacob Soboroff as part of his Why Tuesday? campaign — videotapes of which are to be fashioned into their documentary about America's lag in voter participation. In other words, what she really wants to do is direct:

· Election Day is finally here, and celebrities are pulling out all the last-minute stops: "Patricia Heaton was on the trail in Indiana for McCain, [while] Hank Williams Jr. started the National Anthem at a rally for Sarah Palin in Colorado Springs, Colo., by saying, "You know, I’m usually at ‘Monday Night Football’ tonight, but Colorado, this is a lot more important tonight. Join me now in our national — you know, that, uh, Mr. Obama’s not real crazy about, we’re singing it right now." Should he win, Obama's first order of business is replacing "The Star Spangled Banner" with the Subway $5 Footlong jingle. Too bad there's nothing you can do about it, Colorado! [Variety] · Charlize Theron will star opposite Tom Cruise in The Tourist, playing a female Interpol agent who's always standing in a 12-inch-deep ditch for some reason. [Variety] · Iron Man helps nudge Marvel comfortably into the black in its third-quarter, but the company warns that 2009 should provide less robust dividends. And that's even factoring in the money they'll save on Terrence Howard's personal moustache groomer and fresh fruit requirements! [Variety] After the jump: Who is Jack Falcone, and why is Steven Soderbergh making him?· The busy, busy Steven Soderbergh, when not making Dogma fleshcore [NSFW] or Liberace biopics, and 3-D Cleopatra extravaganzas, is also planning Making Jack Falcone, an undercover mob story for Paramount. [THR] · Ron Livingston will star in Defying Gravity, an international co-production about "eight astronauts from five countries who take on a mysterious six-year mission through the solar system." If the distance between Earth and the nearest star system is 2.7 million light years, how long would it take Astronaut Livingston to get there and back, assuming he's traveling in a vacuum during a non-Leap Year year. Use the space below for scrap. [THR]

When producers for the Eva Longoria Parker ghost comedy Over Her Dead Body went looking for a male lead, we're sure that even they expected to settle for a "Paul Rudd type," not Rudd himself. Yet the actor turned up in the movie anyway, a decision that puzzled many after Rudd finally broke through this decade with woolly, improvised performances in Wet Hot American Summer and the bulk of Judd Apatow's cinematic oeuvre. Now, while speaking to AICN's Capone on the promo tour for his new film Role Models, Rudd admits that he'd rather leave Body off his body of work:

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Election Day Interns Hall of Fame Edition! 11/4 — Monica Lewinsky waited in line for 2 hours to vote at the Los Angeles Tennis Club. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Hope For The Hill? The recently canceled King of the Hill may yet live on, as a Fox rep has confirmed that "another network is interested" in the long-running and consistently solid (but terminally unbuzzworthy) series. The show is still averaging at about a 3.4 rating—the same numbers CBS's "breakout hit" The Mentalist is getting—and reached as high as a 4.3 after last Sunday's Simpsons Halloween special. Fun fact: Did you know Bobby is voiced by Pamela Adlon, aka Mrs. Louie from short-lived Louis C.K. sitcom Lucky Louie? [THR]

We were a little surprised to find out a while ago that actor Dennis Hopper is a longtime Republican — sure, he appeared in the right-wing satire An American Carol, but so, too, did he make Meet the Deedles. Today, though, during a hushed, absorbing two-and-a-half minute monologue on The View, Hopper detailed the Jefferson-led conversion that led him to become a Reagan Republican, as well as a deeply personal story that eventually led to his unlikely presidential vote for Barack Obama. If this clip somehow ends up getting taped over the "Crash series" part of Hopper's reel, we can't say we'll be surprised.

If you had "feminist Web series" for the win in your What's Next For Amy Poehler? brackets, congratulations. After ditching Saturday Night Live for maternity leave and months of lingering attachments to a rumored Office spinoff, Poehler will officially be back onscreen in less than two weeks with her online effort Smart Girls at the Party.Kind of like The View, but skewing much younger, funnier and less dramatically hormonal, Smart Girls was announced in September as Poehler's paean to "girls who have unique talents and interests." ON Networks originally planned an October launch, later a casualty of Poehler's maternity leave that has since been pushed back to Nov. 17. Expect the last of special guest Tina Fey's Sarah Palin sketches to appear here as well, casting the Alaska governor as a heartening symbol of what American girls can accomplish with even the most modest flute and firearms skills. Until then, the trailer is below. Click to view

While her rendition of "Bound For Fun" at the 1985 Little Miss Shayna Maidel pageant was an undisputed triumph, Sarah Silverman's more recent performance in London was slightly more controversial. The press was ruthless, calling her "overhyped," "as funny as Tay-Sachs disease," and "the worst thing to happen to England since Princess Margaret discovered Pilates." Shortly after, we located some audience video and posted it; while the audio was muffled, it seemed to us that there was genuine affection for Silverman in the room.Asked about the incident by the NY Post, the comedian insisted the show was a rousing success, a reciprocal love fest between performer and audience that was unfairly spun by the media into a public relations disaster. As evidence, Silverman cited Defamer's own post. (She knows we work in our boxers out of that giant laundromat/Starbucks thing in Echo Park, right? OK—just checking.) She explains: