Rainy days and Mondays got you down? Buck up your holiday mood with a bit of apocalyptic egg nog we like to call Monday Morning Box Office:

Che's "roadshow" engagement attracted capacity crowds in L.A. and New York over the weekend, with director Steven Soderbergh even making a special NYC appearance to take his audience's thoughtful questions and verbal abuse.

Remember this lady, Sarah Palin? She was famous for appearing every Saturday night on the tee-vee, saying cute things about Russia, gays, and Katie Couric. Or maybe that was her portrayer, Tina Fey?

Vandals have done well by Fox this year, but the latest defacement of the studio's marketing efforts — this time for its rambunctious-dog dramedy Marley & Me — breaks entirely new ground. (Warning: Spoilers follow.)

Tom Cruise reunited with Matt Lauer on the Today Show this morning, and fortunately for the audience, Cruise's strategy appeared to be, "Bring the crazy up front and as early as possible."

Your annual Oscar anticlimax is officially underway, with Heath Ledger, Penélope Cruz and Slumdog Millionaire — among other familiar names — once again dominating the weekend's awards news.

Defamer's Week in Review: Dong sings, Carrie Fisher transforms, T.R. Knight walks and we get a face-lift! And all those awards! Join us in reflecting after the jump.

· Kathie Lee riffs on two chicks who climbed into a KFC sink and photographed themselves bathing. That last zinger really earns her some kind of Get Out of Defamer Free card.

Bravo to the scribes behind this week's five best comments, for they each win a "party sheep" vetted by Zac Efron. We don't really know what that is, but kudos! So, what comments won?

Friday: · Von Iva at Echo, Los Lobos at HoB, Phantom Planet at Troubadour.
· Toph Eggers hosts Hal Ashby's The Landlord, part of The Forgotten Classics Movie Series. At 826LA's Time Travel Mart.

Look into the eyes of Inside the Actors Studio host James Lipton, and what do you see? A wild sycophancy that has led the man to the edge of a nervous breakdown, perhaps?

We'd like to thank the creators of betamaxmas.com for recreating with stunning approximation the experience of sitting around your parents basement circa 1985 and watching TV during the holidays.

Everyone celebrates the holidays differently, but within two hours you can see a pair of lesbian teens deciding their future and Tom Arnold profile redneck yuletides. Only on cable, kids, only on cable.

No flu shot can yet immunize us from the annual plague of Top 10 lists; the best you can hope for is a weaker, less-contagious strain than last year's. Stephen King gives us hope.

Royal Tenenbaums director Wes Anderson doesn't typically work with two-time Sexiest Man Alive winners (keep trying, Schwarzbaum!), so to imagine what the director could do with Brad Pitt doesn't come easily.

Back in the days before teen heartthrobs were photographed in front of baby penises at the local novelty store, Van Johnson was a wholesome young star America could stand behind. And now he's dead.

Call us 80's purists if you must (it's a fair charge — after all, these Betamax tapes of Space Camp aren't gonna watch themselves), but when remaking The Karate Kid, some things are essential.

· AMPTP sent a letter to Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, and Diane Feinstein, "excoriated SAG leaders." A bailout hearing could follow, should they produce "some facetime with Ben Stiller and that adorable Farrell fellow." [Variety]

The 1987 vampire classic Near Dark has been on the industry's equivalent of death row for a while, with Michael Bay producing a remake for Rogue Pictures. But Twilight just issued a stay of execution.

High camp has no enemies. Besides—humorless scolds (like Anita Bryant, or Chuck Norris) produce unwitting camp through their very opposition. But what happens when it's camp vs. camp?