· Disappointed by the delays facing Steven Soderbergh's brain-melter Cleo? Elton John to the rescue with Pride and Predator, featuring Jane Austen's characters taking on a bloodthirsty space alien. Can't. Wait. [Variety]

A tipster tells us billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle (and his model wrangler!) was "lurking around" Justin Timberlake's William Rast show at Fashion Week last night. Time for a listicle of creepy old ladies' men!

So tonight marks the premiere of The Real Housewives of New York City's second season. No, that strange ache you felt near your heart wasn't indigestion. Never watched before? Here, let me introduce you.

China refuses to import bloody new Jackie Chan film. [NYT]

The vagaries of both Megan Fox's streetwalker opus and IMDb's weird STARmeter calibrations have intrigued us for a while now, but never quite the way they have since recently merging.

Why do Scientologists hate psychiatry so much? Who cares, it just makes them look amusingly craz(ier). In this clip from a cheapo Scientology TV show, a real Scientology doctor proves that psychiatry caused 9/11!:

Lost faces a new villain: permanently rescheduled American Idol. [THR]

Whenever Mickey Rourke makes a PR gaffe on his road to comeback semi-redemption, at least we can be assured that he'll go overboard trying to rectify it. So how is he course-correcting his homophobic slur?

Entertainment Weekly continues its embarrassing plunge into Twilight blowjobbery. They have yet another cover this week featuring the vampire movie's be-shagged leads. This one's a lame stretching-it story about a book about the movie.

While its writer denies he's reviewed anything, the unofficial first take on Watchmen is live at Time. The verdict: It's destined for fanboy greatness. Who knew?

Sometimes this city is sad and cold and lonely. So too, sometimes, is The City, MTV's blotty watercolor reality show about lightbulb fairies that live, for the time being, in gray old New York City.

Because the Jackson Family's collective behavior apparently isn't bizarre enough on its own, Marlon Jackson is backing a slavery theme park and resort in Nigeria. Doesn't this sound fun:

Wow, Nadya Suleman really is radioactive: Yet another agency has distanced itself from the mother of 14. How is she going to sell her story now?

The Oscars are in six days, and while only a very few ever win that statue, the stars have your Academy Awards after the jump. Time to buy a gown.

For all the e-ink spilled over whether 30 Rock gave the McFlurry too much product placement last week (even Jane Krakowski is unsure now!), we think there's a different, far bigger case to be made.

It's a shame that someone went to the trouble of hacking Miley Cyrus's Twitter account, then eschewed the imaginative vagina prose of his forebears to merely imagine X-rated episodes of The Miley and Mandy Show.

"Gayle King Rejects Chris Brown's Apology." Duly noted! [Us]

NY Times parted the Swarovski-crystal-studded veil of secrecy surrounding this Sunday's Oscars: The stage will be a rhapsody in blue, with a thrust as impressive as any we'll see from Hugh Jackman's powerful dancer's loins.

The spot now makes little to no sense in glorious HD — polished sound, picture and Shia. The product placement is sharper, and when Megan Fox shrieks, it's just like the night before she slapped us with our restraining order. It's uncanny. And anyway, if Bay doesn't deserve at least three minutes of your consideration on President's Day, we really don't know who does. Enjoy! Again!