Splash News snapped this sad picture of Mel Gibson on a beach in Costa Rica, contemplating his impending divorce and, no doubt, $480 million-ish divorce settlement. Also: Which musical Oksana he'll end up with.

That's an "Uncomfortable Plot Summary" for the first Star Wars movie. And, hey, it's pretty accurate! It's a fun game to play, and one that postmodernbarney has played exhaustively. What are some others?

Forget you, Sasha Frere-Jones. The hip hipster face of music appreciation is now Quentin Tarantino. The onetime Idol guest judge was a Mentor to the kids last night. With, you know, predicatably disastrous results.

Now that the Project Runway Wars are over, it's time to get on with the business of casting for the fashion show's seventh season. The application is due April 24th. Which isn't much time!

There is a correction to that Times article on Die Hard auteur John McTiernan's movie about how Karl Rove is the reason he is being prosecuted for lying to the FBI about Anthony Pellicano.

Two Elisabeths get cast in movies, a playwright and a theater actress walk into a pitch meeting with HBO... Law & Order: Sex Police will continue on in its sexy way.

Today we have a sarcastic bodyguard, a TV star buying stolen goods, a downtown club—gasp!—staying open later than it's supposed to, and a soon-to-be-nasty divorce.

Sometimes it's much more firm to watch the Late Show host squirm and make half-hearted self-deprecating jokes than to watch him go on a hilarious tear against someone. (If you're impatient, skip about two minutes in.)

Woody Allen uses the word "tragic" four times in his front-page interview with the New York Observer. Also, "nihilistic," "dreadful," "sad," "malcontent" and "embarrassment." And that's before he gets going about the "appropriate police."

Mel Gibson has his own $42 million ultra-traditionalist Catholic church near Malibu. And the "other women" behind his divorce? Well, the tabloids are still sifting through at least four ladies on three continents.

Who is Lindsay Lohan turning to after her breakup with girlfriend Samantha Ronson? Patrick Aufdenkamp, her stylist pal, looks to be making his move.

Updated After longtime Variety editor Peter Bart was eased out of power last week, the conventional wisdom was that major staff changes could be in store. And here they come, at the entire company. Layoffs!

[Johnny Depp drives a teeny tiny car while filming "The Rum Diary" in Puerto Rico; image via Splash]

Junk-haus auteur Quentin Tarantino is a guest judge on American Idol tonight, for the second time. He's an unabashed, earnest fan of the show. It got us thinking. What kind of people watch Idol?

Russell Crowe, who's playing a hero journalist in his next movie, was on the Today Show bashing reporters, but, to tell you the truth, his description of the people at movie junkets is pretty apt.

What drama! What intrigue! What mystery! What emotion! Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about my trip home for Easter. Now where were we? Oh, right. The Hills. Yes. Spencer and Heidi are no more.

Did you know that the prosecution of criminal Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano was an attempt by Karl Rove to derail Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign? It's true, if you're crazy!

A comedy gets a major cast, an HBO movie gets majorly political. A skater gets a reality show, as do many, many fashion people. Because they're so interesting! Everyone watches TV on the internet now, especially Lost.

[Dina Lohan, terrific mother of Lindsay, arrives for a family dinner; image via INF]

Today we have a young chanteuse getting slightly odd plastic surgery, a celebrity mommy who goes skiing way too often, and a big time star trying to come back down to Earth.