Uh oh, big scandal the in the world of Le Bordeaux ("wine"): influential "wine collector" Rudy Kurniawan has been arrested by real live FBI agents and charged with fraud for attempting to auction off more than 100 bottles of wine (for more than $1.3 million) about whose provenance he lied. Can you imagine? Some unsuspecting wine collectors out there thought they were buying 1929 Domaine Ponsot, but actually it was some other wine in the bottle. Outrageous.

Trayvon "Trey" Martin, 17, of Miami was visiting relatives living in a gated community in Sanford, Florida. He had just left a local 7-11 after buying a snack and was on his way home around 7:00 PM on February 26. George Zimmerman, a 26-year-old member of the local neighborhood watch, saw Martin and called police to report a suspicious man in the community. He tailed Martin in his car. He had a loaded pistol on him. The police told Zimmerman they would handle it.

In an important decision that will have a drastic impact on court cases for years to come, a man accused of fondling himself on the train in England has been found not guilty after he told the court he was merely strumming a pretend banjo.

Barrett Brown, bubble bath webcam star and former spokesman for the hacktivist collective Anonymous was raided by the FBI on Wednesday. Authorities took his laptop, but not his relentlessly self-promotional spirit.

Dale Regan (above), headmaster of Episcopal School of Jacksonville in Florida, was shot and killed today by a teacher at the school. The teacher, who had been fired earlier in the day, then took his own life. According to Police, the unidentified man carried the AK-47 he used onto campus in a guitar case. No one else was hurt in the incident.

A five-year investigation by the Manhattan DA led to the arrest of 44-year-old Anna Gristina in late February, DNAinfo reports. The millionaire madam, as she has been dubbed, was also caught on tape boasting that she had made millions in the prostitution racket.

A Nigerian woman who claimed to be pregnant was actually hiding a whole lot of heroin inside her ladyparts. Afolake Awoyemi was detained at JFK Airport after flying in from France. When asked by a Border Protection inspector, Awoyemi said she was three months pregnant — but she must not have been convincing, because Customs officers opted for a pat-down search.

Get ready for the most adorable true crime story you'll hear all day. In Texas, a troop of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a Wal-Mart were robbed by thieves who took the girls' cash box. (But weirdly enough, no cookies.) It's actually kind of a sad story — they never got the money back. But the no-nonsense way the victims went after the robbers is pretty cute.

Tonight marks Lindsay Lohan's fourth time hosting Saturday Night Live — her first since a seemingly endless amount of legal troubles and rehab stints. In honor of her comeback, Lohan will be addressing everything that has made her tabloid fodder. Oh, and she'll be singing. Thanks, TMZ.

Nothing beats the New York Daily News headline here: "Her agony of de-feet!" Ah, puns.

Police in Los Angeles have arrested a man they believe to be behind the brutal murder of a 35-year-old Russian artist in 2008. Daniel Becerrill II, a financial consultant from Huntington Beach, has been charged with homicide, as well as a number of other crimes, in connection with the murder. Police believe that there were a number of people involved in what they are calling a murder for profit scheme.

What is undisputed is this: W. Bryan Jennings, an investment banker with Morgan Stanley, got a cab to drive him from his office in Manhattan back to his home in Darien, Connecticut. In Darien, Jennings proceeded to pull out a pen knife and stab the driver in the hands. Why?

A 42-year-old Philadelphian known as The Black Madam has been arrested after botching at least three butt injection procedures at "pumping parties." The Black Madam, whose real name is Padge Winslowe, is being held on a $10 million bail after being charged with assault, simple assault, deceptive business practices, and other charges related to injections performed on a 23-year-old woman.

A former Los Angeles City Commissioner, 63-year old Al Abrams, made his first court appearance this afternoon to answer to charges of possessing and distributing child pornography even though he totally didn't do anything wrong. The real culprit was his split-personality, which, coincidentally, also manifests itself as 63-year old Al Abrams.

In today's news that will take away any desire for procreation you might have been grasping onto, military and police trainers are now suggesting that the "Run, Hide and Wait" protocol be ingrained in students in much the same way they currently learn "Stop, Drop and Roll." Schools will soon be teaching children both fire and gunfire safety.

Two more Chardon High School juniors, Demetrius Hewlin and Russell King Jr., have died from wounds sustained in yesterday's cafeteria shooting, bringing the death count to three.

A high school student accused of shooting five students at Chardon High School in Chardon, Ohio, this morning has been identified as a student named Thomas "T.J." Lane. The attack this morning injured four students and killed one, 16-year-old Daniel Parmertor.

CNN reports that at least four students were injured in a high school shooting in Chardon, Ohio, this morning. The school has been evacuated and a suspect is in custody:

Douglas Kennedy, one of Robert F. Kennedy's sons, is facing misdemeanor charges after clashing with nurses at the hospital where his newborn son was born. Kennedy was trying to take his son outside when he was stopped by the nurses, who claim they were only doing their jobs. Kennedy, on the other hand, says the nurses totally started it.

Armando Bigo, a second grader, was struck by a stray bullet while in Papa Yali's Deli last night. The footage shows Armando browsing the chips selection when he was hit in the upper chest/shoulder area. According to his mother, who was in the store as well, he is recovering at Jacobi Medical Center, where doctors are treating him for a punctur lung, a fractured rib, and an injured spinal cord. No one else was injured in the shooting.