Mexican authorities announced they have captured the leader of La Familia, the cultish cartel responsible for some of the most nightmarish acts committed throughout that country's ongoing drug wars.

Curbed, Pinboard and a host of other sites went down after the FBI raided a Virginia data center and carted off three racks of servers. The Feds were reportedly targeting just one individual user. Talk about heavy handed.

The SEC has announced that J.P. Morgan Securities will pay $153 million to settle charges that the bank sold $1.1 billion in mortgage-backed securities that were designed to fail. That's about what the bank makes every three days.

A 21-year-old Amish man was arrested in Connersville, Indiana, for arranging a sexual encounter with a 12-year-old via text message. William Yoder is accused of sending hundreds of dirty texts to a young girl, including pictures of his penis and "lewd videos."

I'm not sure if there's a Shoplifting Hall of Fame, but if there is, I'd hope there would be a place in it for Stephanie Moreland, 46, who pleaded guilty on Monday to one of the most ingenious — and tactically improbable — heists of all time.

A Chicago landlord called the cops on Sunday after investigating a leak and stumbling upon one of his tenants, covered in blood. But he shouldn't have worried! The guy was just performing a little D.I.Y. surgery on his dog. In the nude.

James Verone, a 59-year-old former truck driver, was having serious medical problems that he couldn't afford to get checked out or treated. If only North Carolina had a free, state-run health-care system!, he thought. Then he realized it does: in prison.

The trial of deposed Tunisian president Zine El Abidine Ben Ali begins today in absentia, since Ben Ali is yukking it up with Saudi royals on his extended vacation there. Today's trial is the first of many, but this one is pretty juicy. Ben Ali is charged with theft, as well as drug and weapons possession, and the case is built on evidence recovered from two of his palaces outside of Tunis.

A seriously disturbed bridegroom, upset over the tab for his wedding at Peckforton Castle in Britain, allegedly took matters into his own hands over the weekend by lighting the place on fire after everyone had gone to sleep. The Daily Mail reports that over 100 firefighters responded to the blaze that started at around 4:45 am. Some 70 wedding guests were sleeping at the time and a man, presumably the bridegroom, was arrested.

Perhaps trying to establish himself in a new neighborhood, a 30-year-old Brooklyn man got tough with a pair of teenagers who were kicking cars and trash cans on his block early on Sunday. After the kids mouthed off to Thomas Dunikowski and his new neighbors, Dunikowski decided that he just wasn't going to take it anymore:

The Manhattan district attorney's office yesterday filed a transcript of 17 statements made by Dominique Strauss-Kahn during and after his arrest on sexual assault charges last month. The Times has details of the statement, a voluntary disclosure form, that should be presented to defense attorneys. So, what were DSK's first hours in custody like? It took him a little while to really figure out what was going on:

El Brad Pitt was arrested on Wednesday in northern Mexico on suspicion that he leads the Juarez Cartel's armed wing. Pitt is accused of orchestrating car bombings and killing people on video. Oh, it's a different "Brad Pitt." Sorry!

There's little anonymity left in rioting these days. Thanks to cameraphones and tagging, police will be able to identify some of the Vancouver hooligans who set fires, smashed storefronts and overturned cars in Stanley Cup related rioting.

Last week, Citigroup admitted it had been hit by hackers in May who used a super-simple browser trick to make off with account information on more than 200,000 of the bank's credit card customers.

Manhattan socialite Beata Boman, a self-described self-described "former model and fashion designer" was arrested Tuesday afternoon for stealing a scarf that's possibly worth more than that clunker you're currently driving around.

Thanks to the tireless reporting of the New York Post's legal correspondents, we learned the vivid details of this one time that some rich people fought over the last Pad Thai in a Manhattan Trader Joe's frozen food aisle. And now we have the verdict: opera singer Marcella Caprario has been acquitted of all charges. In honor of this monumental verdict, let's revisit the Post's play-by-play of the January "fight" between Caprario and Dr. Catherine London:

You know how we're always remind you to update your privacy settings? Here's a great example why: If you try to hire a hitman on your Facebook wall, and your Facebook wall is public, you will get arrested.

In November of 1994, a bunch of unknown guys ran up on Tupac at Quad Studios in Manhattan, shot him, and robbed him. (Not the shooting that killed him! That was two years later.) That 1994 shooting was the spark that set off the East Coast-West Coast hip hop wars. And the assailants have never been discovered. Until now, maybe, allegedly!

John Edwards' vacant, deranged smile gets twelve orders of magnitude creepier when its flashed in the context of a booking photo after his June 6, 2011 arrest on rather dubious campaign finance violations.

Robert Ross, a former member of the Main Street Mafia Crips Gang in L.A., testified in court yesterday that seven other men from the gang abducted and robbed him in 2008 while trying to get their hands on a Shaquille O'Neal sex tape that Ross claims he has.