Whereas the opening day of the Mubaraks' trial on August 3rd was all about Hosni picking his nose and the general sense of shock felt by Egyptians who watched their longtime leader sit in a cage, today was all about appearances. Again, Hosni's conveniently devout sons Alaa and Gamal clutched Qurans. But this time around, Hosni traded in his prison pajamas for what looked to be a zip up track suit. He also looked like he's visited a taxidermist.

So now the American Kennel Club's saying that dog theft's up by 32 percent this year. Apparently their special database recording animal thefts has recorded 224 reports since January 1. That's almost as many thefts recorded in all of 2010 (255, if you're keeping score).

Althea Ricketts says that where she comes from, hitting kids with computer cables is a "common" way to discipline them. This is ostensibly why she allegedly she beat her son with a computer cable for having a Facebook page.

For allegedly stealing a 24-ounce can of Steel Reserve, Victoria Hill of Boise, Idaho now faces up to ten years behind bars. Officers charged her with felony burglary, because she stuck the beer in her purse and walked by some cash registers—thereby indicating "intent."

Remember Susan Burns, the woman "from the American CIA" who in April tried to beat up a Gauguin hung at the National Gallery of Art? Well, she got back inside the gallery somehow, and this time allegedly went nuts on a Matisse.

Just when the stripper-led Dougherty gang was beginning to make us like Florida and its statewide rejection of "decency" and "morality" and "laws," along comes allegedly abusive defense lawyer Terry Lee Locy and his naked, sword-dueling style of courtship.

The fall premiere of beloved rape variety hour Law & Order: SVU will be based on Dominique Strauss-Kahn's hotel maid rape case, TV Guide reports.

The SEC has charged a 26 year-old named Toby Scammell (HEH) with insider trading, after he made nearly $200K on stock deals after learning from his Disney-employed girlfriend that Disney was going to buy Marvel. How many objectionable things do we know about Toby?

Scotland Yard says that out of over 1,700 arrests made over the nationwide riots, around 600 people have been formally charged with crimes such as looting and disorder. Courts have stayed open overnight to handle the cases.

Ah, the amazing Dougherty Gang — born about 80 years too late, with another 80 long ones ahead of them to ponder that fact. The trio of bank-robbing, bunker-living, machine-gunning siblings made their first court appearance on Thursday in Pueblo County, Colo., where they are being held on bonds of $1.25 million each.

Marvin Lane Ussery, a 48-year-old parolee and former inmate at New Folsom in Sacramento, was caught by thermal imaging cameras late Wednesday night sneaking around prison grounds. Asked what he was doing there, Ussery said, kind of touchingly, "reminiscing."

A Mexican drug kingpin who left behind a trail of 600 bodies, many of them dismembered and decapitated, has been arrested. Oscar Garcia, 36, was the leader of The Hand with Eyes — a brutal drug gang responsible for bringing the extreme drug-war violence typically found in northern Mexico into Mexico City and its suburbs.

After similar incidents this summer in Florida and California, now Connecticut is the latest state to fall victim to hidden cameras placed inside Starbucks bathrooms by overcaffeinated voyeurs.

The British Home Secretary will meet with the companies behind Twitter and BlackBerry to discuss whether they can help curb the nation's riots. It was only a few months ago that cracking down on social networks was considered the province of despots. Now the British government is making it sound like an essential step for safety.

Perhaps you've heard of former Luzerne County, Pennsylvania Judge Mark Ciavarella Jr., an objectively evil person who took bribes to send kids to private prisons. The good news is that he's now going to jail! Sadly, he'll only be there for 28 years.

Playboy Playmate Shanna McLaughlin—also known as "Miss July 2010" and the winner of PlayboyTV's Shoot Out reality show—was arrested at Orlando's airport today after TSA found a loaded .45 Colt revolver in a duffel bag that she intended to bring on airplane.

For months now, innocent shoppers in Virgina—the state that is, incidentally, "for lovers"—have been terrorized by a Serial Butt Stabber. Now, it appears that his reign of booty assault is even worse than previously suspected.

William Boyland Jr., a Democratic New York state assemblyman from Brooklyn, was driving his Yukon down Sutter Ave. in Brownsville last night with his seven year-old son. Then—hello!—somebody started shooting, and a bullet blasted out his back window.

There are epic Taser incidents and then there's this: An R&B singer and former candidate for one of Alabama's U.S. Senate seats, Simone De Moore, up until last Sunday was the music director at New Welcome Baptist Church in St. Elmo, Alabama. He was fired by Reverend Riley and, according to Moore's mother, Agolia, "They owed him. He asked them for his money."

The now 20-year-old Barefoot Bandit, Colton Harris-Moore — famous for stealing rich people toys like airplanes and boats while shoeless — has reportedly signed a $1.3 million movie deal that includes the young criminal's life rights as part of a plea deal agreed to by federal prosecutors. All of the money will go toward repaying his victims. In a statement obtained by The Herald, the Bandit said: