'Chav chasing' public schoolboys criticized [Telegraph]

Spend too much time online playing computer games (or, ahem, reading dumb websites)? Of course you do, you hideous geek. Thank your lucky geeky stars that you are not in China, where those who play for more than five hours a day are shipped off to a re-education clinic to be medicated, drilled, and, if we know the Chinese, tortured. We're not necessarily averse to this. CNBC has the whole chilling story.

Last week's deluge could not have come at a better time for WABC's avuncular weather hottie Bill Evans. As you'll recall, Bill's new novel, Category 7, imagines the effects that a hurricane might have if it hit New York City. And make no mistake: A hurricane WILL hit New York City! And soon! Probably right after Labor Day! Last week was just foreshadowing. But how will it play out? Evans put together a promotional video that is so adorably amateur—and frightening—that we had to share it with you. Batten down the hatches, people: It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

China is treating Web-addled youngsters the way they deserve — with medication and military-style training, CNBC reports. This is such a good idea. Such a good idea. And at $40 a day, the country's Internet-addiction clinics are a bargain compared to most summer camps. Offshoring, anyone? "Those bad behaviors, some can be corrected," promises clinic director Tao Ran. Parents, if you can't pry your troubled teenager away from World of Warcraft, it's time to pony up for roundtrip airfare to Beijing.

Continuing its award-winning series of segments on recent Britney Spears hit-and-run victims (both sexual and vehicular), Access Hollywood spotlights a CelebTV.com interview with the poor woman whose Mercedes was damaged when Spears decided to show off her parking skills to the throng of paparazzi waiting to assail her on a routine Petco run. She's clearly not as excited about her brush with Spears as the guy who had his fender bent in the Standard's hot tub, but maybe that's because she only got a glimpse of Spears' overexposed ladyflower instead of the little seen, intricately tattooed breasts she only flashes in more intimate settings.

Meet Kim Rifkin, whose car was yet another automobile to suffer from Britney Spears' inability to properly park. Ms. Rifkin, interviewed by "Access Hollywood," is miffed at the snatch-showing celebrity, and raises a chilling question: "If she can do this when she is photographed, God knows what she does when she's not." We're thinking meth and three-way sex, but that may just be wish fulfillment on our part.

We still feel terrible about the cheap shot we took at Bea Arthur yesterday, a legendary actress who, for all we know, deserves placement on the controversial list in question no more than Golden Girls castmate Rue McClanahan.

You know, sometimes we worry that exhibiting the classic singlefier of being a lady who lives alone with two cats will make people think we're some kind of a nutcase. And then we see this MSNBC video of a lady who lives in a two-bedroom apartment with 130 cats. In Siberia but still.

Meet Matt Encinias, video extra and 21-year-old "boy toy" to pathetic cougar Britney Spears. Matt shares the full details of their hot makeout sesh in this very special edition of "Access Hollywood."

This parody video pokes fun at Microsoft Paint, the aging art software included with Windows. YouTube commenters already point out that Vista Paint, the latest version, isn't much of an improvement. But that's not what makes it so funny to me.The real humor in the clip is its reminder that no one gets this excited about desktop software anymore. Take Apple's announcement earlier this week of iLife '08: The only real selling point of Apple's newest iLife software, used to manage photo collections, edit movies, and so forth, is that it's integrated with Apple's .Mac Web service. Yes, Microsoft Paint seems hilariously out of date. But to today's Web generation, it's not Paint that's outdated — it's the entire field of programs written to run on a PC instead of on a website. If you're in your 30s, this video will make you laugh out loud. If you're in your early 20s, I'm betting it will just bore you.

NBC News blows the lid off the depravity on YouTube. No, not swinger housewives gone wild: There's a rash of videos being uploaded of kids tossing drinks back at the faces of drive-thru workers. Aren't you glad you live in New York, instead of America? Still kind of wish we had drive-thru fast food though, for late night gypsy cab snacks and stuff.

• Nut Shot Japanese Show [YouTube]

You know how everytime there's a tornado or a hurricane in some godforsaken flyover state you sit there and chuckle as the newscasters venture into the trailer parks to interview their toothless inhabitants for pithy insights such as, "We was just sittin' there when the wind started to howlin' something fierce. I says to little Mayetag, Honey, you best get inside before that mean ol' storm grab aholt of you and carry you away!" Well, stop feeling so goddamn smug: We are all Red America now.

• Olivia Munn's Hot Beef Injection [Fleshbot]

Big media companies like Viacom, constrained by the limits of copyright law and Google's recalcitrance, are forced to pay companies like Los Gatos-based BayTSP, which specializes in snooping file sharers and protecting copyrights, to slog through YouTube's bloated index searching for infringements. That makes for a solid eight-hour day for BayTSP's "video analysts." Contracts prevent employees from discussing their tedium with friends and family, but they were allowed to open up to a Wall Street Journal reporter in the clip above.

• Lindsay Or a Look-A-Like? [The Insider]

"I want to apologize to all the black tech bloggers. It could have been any ethnic group. It could have been gay guys, could have been Jews, could have been micks, skinnies, chinks, any of them...It was just your guys' bad luck that it went down that way...I'm a fucking idiot comedian and I did this." When PodTech promised to sign on more "professional producers," did it mean a white guy putting on a blackface minstrel show? Because that's what PodTech talent Loren Feldman has been up to, as part of a freakish little "opera" this videoblogger has engineered over the past week. Here's the story as told in videos, from "TechNigga" to Loren screaming, "No balls on any of you, you're just fucking sheep."