We're still feeling a little guilty for posting that photo of fake naked leopard man earlier today, which we readily admit was equal parts nauseating and underwhelming, and utterly devoid of any of the charms that made the authentic Naked Leopard Man such a timeless classic. To make it up to you, we have what we consider to be a very special treat: Lucky and Flo, the two highly trained dogs who can not only sniff out pirated DVDs, but then engage their handlers in a vigorous match of Frisbee Fetch with said contraband, paid a visit to The Today Show this morning.

In last night's episode of VH1's "Academy of Douchery,"pick up artist" "Mystery" instructed his douchelettes in the art of "kiss tactics." Demonstrating on his almost certainly gay wingman "J. Dog," our Venusian master sets the stage for a challenge in which his charges must kiss a girl—with her permission even! Pay attention, you might learn something. About being a douche.

Lauren Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen USA contestant whose fumbling inarticulacies in response to a question about American ignorance captivated a nation (and if you haven't seen the clip, go now), showed up on the "Today Show" this morning to explain that she "misunderstood" and "drew a blank." Matt Lauer and Ann Curry give the plucky youngster a second chance to respond to the query, but, frankly, we prefer the original response. (Clip courtesy of Slut Machine.)

Last night on The Hills, Heidi took Spencer to visit her parents in Colorado. They live in Crested Butte, in the middle of nowhere, in a pretty small house, and own a restaurant in "town," which is like one street. At one point, Spencer calls his best dude Brody and is all, "She is from a different world." Heh. Throughout the show, Heidi's parents try to figure out what went wrong between her and her former best friend Lauren (this was filmed after the allegations that Spencer and Heidi had leaked Lauren's sex tape had come out, and Heidi's new nose and boobs had been plastered all over the tabloids), and gently suggest that maybe spending all her time with Spencer isn't such a good idea. But it's the scene where Heidi's parents take Heidi and Spencer out to dinner at their restaurant that let them see his true colors for themselves. Which is to say: He's a crazy, possessive maniac!

We were curious about the Fuck Yeah Fest the second we heard of it, imagining an orgy of hipsters joyously screaming — a la Team America's famous anthem — their blue approval of everything from skinny jeans on dudes (FUCK YEAH!) to t-shirts with ironic slogans about how stupid t-shirts with ironic slogans are (FUCK YEAH!). So Defamer videographer Molly McAleer vowed to get to the bottom of the Fuck Yeah ethos, and here's what she found: a disconsolate fanboy crushed that he didn't get a warm embrace by the band leader he is stalking traveled hours to see, and two dudes discussing not only their feelings... but their feelings about Kathy Griffin. For an underground fest that allegedly makes Sunset Junction look like Wango Tango, that's pretty fucking disappointing, actually.

Trying to stop a California ballot measure that would make filing class-action lawsuits harder. What that has to do with Decker, or Intel's ill-thought-out ad, escapes me. But it's telling that tactics from political campaigns are now entering the realm of business — and smearing one of Silicon Valley's highest-profile executives in the process.

We realize what many of you might need on this gloomier-than-normal Monday is some cheering up. Whether or not this clip from A&E's The Two Coreys provides that really depends on how you feel about artfully staged confrontations between two lovable 1980s heartthrobs who are forced to cohabitate, for various economic and drama-heightening reasons. For us, nothing washes away the darkness buried beneath every successful actor's shiny facade than watching two fallen stars fake-fighting over the woman who came between them. (If you're still not feeling the sunshine, take a moment to consider just how far Corey H. has come since the episode in which he learns he's been shut out of the Lost Boys direct-to-video sequel. The kid is back!)

This week's installment of our non-New York look at the fashion of New York finds Richard Blakeley in Union Square, where he encounters a classy, urban, chic, retro high school student from Queens who will tell you exactly how much you need to pay for socks. We kinda think she's adorable.

• Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina Answers a Question [YouTube]

Here's Miss Teen USA contestant Lauren Caitlin Upton answering a politically-charged question about American's inability to locate their own country on a map. Her answer more or less directly proves the validity of the question. South Carolinians must be beaming with pride right now!

In this clip from CNBC, a Playboy executive describes his company's new social network, PlayboyU, as a place where college students can "commune" with each other. Right. If that's what you want to call it. My take? "The bunny's not going to get much of a bang," I told CNBC.

We thought this CNN video of a big old Rottweiler nursing a teensy kitten might be a way to finally bring the dog and cat people on staff together. Also, doggie nip slip!

We missed this the first time around: Virgin founder Richard Branson, touting the new San Francisco-based airline Virgin America, drenches Colbert Report host Stephen Colbert with a bottle of water. Whatever it takes, Sir Richard, as long as you keep provoking United and American into suicidal fare wars on the SFO-JFK route.

Meet Larry Richette, a Philadelphian accused of assaulting his mother, a judge in the city of brotherly love. When a reporter arrived to interview the motherbeater, he offered a succinct yet articulate opinion of television news which, while somewhat blunt, is more or less commensurate to our own view. [Via MSNBC]

"Entertainment Tonight" ran some terrific footage of the late Leona Helmsley last night. It comes from a pre-incarceration era interview Helmsley did with "60 Minutes" living vampire Mike Wallace. You really get the sense of why Post scold Andrea Peyser was such a big fan of Leona's.

The above-referenced alternative programming "zag," as you may already have figured out by watching the embedded clip, is NBC's just-announced plan to resurrect early 90s reality competition American Gladiators to caulk one of the inevitable cracks in its midseason schedule.

If you hate women, men, Texas, Los Angeles, television news and any of the social progress made by Americans in the 20th century, then "Anchorwoman" is the show for you.

Remember Joel Comm's "The Next Internet Millionaire"? Of course you do. It's hosted by an Internet entrepreneur who promises a $1 million prize and vague hints of a venture "partnership" to whomever can prove he has the chops to be ... well, you get the picture. Who could forget the cheesy charm of his casting call?Comm has now found his twelve contestants and released the first episode. It's a comical cast: a giant, a soccer mom, and Internet hipsters. They're lovable and laughable. Charles Trippy is annoyed by the words vlog and blog. "They're stupid and should be stricken from the record." We concur, Charles. Laura Martin proudly professes that she's "very single." There's even a Republican! For California, that counts as diversity. Click through for the clip and a plot summary.