The Internet just imploded: HBO, television's supposed savior, has paid "six figures" for the rights to a Second Life "documentary" titled "My Second Life: The Video Diaries of Molotov Alva." For the uninitiated, machinima, short films recorded entirely within the game world, is a rather popular genre among the videogaming set and usually parodies of the originating property.
Vint Cerf, founding father of the Internet and Google's underemployed Net evangelist, has a theory: The Internet will kill the television set. The problem is that online-video initiatives are focused on streaming media. Cerf proposes a shift towards downloadable, Internet-delivered content — called "IPTV," after the Internet Protocol Cerf helped invent. IPTV would work more on the TiVo model of record now, watch later. According to him, it would then be possible to serve content faster than real-time — it would take 16 seconds to download an hour's worth of video on a 1 gigabit-per-second connection — which would eliminate strain on service providers and placate consumers seeking videos without jagged images and distorted sound. Or we could all just use BitTorrent.
Whether you're a disgraced United States senator forced to resign by your deeply homophobic political party or simply a curious, closeted straight man wondering about the rules of the road, you'll be sure to learn something in this instructional video on picking up dudes from Rod "Momo" Townsend. Warning: You will not be able to contain yourself from attempting "The Jazzhand Jizzdown."
The good news: Burning Man is over. The bad news: The burners are back in town. Once a year, the Bay Area's most troublesome pyromaniacs head out of town, leaving Silicon Valley cubicles deserted and Mission barstools empty, as they fill up Black Rock City, the temporary site in the Nevada desert for the now-ended arts and counterculture festival. Despite Caltrans's best efforts to block their return by closing the Bay Bridge, they've come back — except for one sad suicide. It's never the ones you wish would off themselves who do, of course. Take Paul Addis — please. The man accused of prematurely setting fire to Burning Man's giant wooden statue was one of the first to return, beating a hasty retreat after spending time in a Pershing County jail. At a Labor Day barbecue, blogger Scott Beale taped Addis in a pseudoconfessional rant.
We recommend that you steel yourself before viewing this YouTube clip of an obviously crazed fan bum-rushing universally worshipped movie star Brad Pitt at the Venice Film Festival, as the footage demonstrates how easy it is for virtually any deranged admirer to penetrate a celebrity's defenses and attempt to embrace him in thanks for the urchin-collecting good works that have alleviated overcrowding in a variety of Third World orphanages. Make sure you watch the the video all the way to the end; most chilling is the moment where Pitt's Italian assailant cheerily waves to the camera, a gesture clearly meant to signal a fresh wave of hug-based attacks on Hollywood's goodwill ambassador by a legion of smiling stalkers emboldened by the fact that one can lay hands on the actor without so much as a tasering by his permissive security detail.
Last night on MTV's The Hills, some stuff happened with regards to the neverending fight between girl-star Lauren and former BFF Heidi and her BF Spencer. (The contextual details are getting too mundane, even for us; and don't worry, you don't need them.) But we also got a glimpse of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's domestic bliss—or lack thereof. We don't take it as a positive sign that she can't even get him to look up from his computer to help her fold a couple of towels! Then Spencer has to make sure that when he lets Heidi out of his sight she's not dining with the enemy. Chauvinist control freaks are the best!
We admit that our knowledge of the choreography world is extremely limited—we cite So You Think You Can Dance finalist Danny Tidwell's ode to a Grecian goddess and the "Thank You For Being a Friend" Dancers as some of our major influences—so we'll just have to take Defamer videographer Molly McAleer's word that the attendees of The Carnival "Choreographer's Ball," held last night at the Key Club, are some of the biggest figures in the hip-hop dance arena. If you've ever wondered where the latest, outrageously named dance crazes are launched, apparently it's right here at this star-studded showcase, where even K-Fed has been known to make an appearance, showing off his ridiculous Toe Wop, Aunt Jackie, and Chicken Noodle Soup games.
Robert Scoble, ostensible PodTech videoblogger, is at it again: Armed with magic marker and whiteboard, he plots the "blog of the future" — on video, alas, not in an actual blog post. His dream features for the uberblog boil down to two categories: First, visual elements and themes readily available today, no time machine required, but Scoble, not "a pretty expert HTMLer," can only draw imaginary boxes to represent them. Second, a utopian merger of Facebook, blogs, and desktop apps that we've already heard about before from Scoble. Along the way, Scoble uses a few books from his desk and swooshing sound effects to simulate Apple's popular Cover Flow media-browsing technology. And from this, we learn that PodTech hasn't gotten him an eraser for his beloved whiteboard. We were spared the hour Scoble could spend "just talking about comments" — thank you. Oh, and his readers are still complaining about his use of video and Kyte.tv. The full, and fully unwatchable, video after the jump.
LimeWire, the file-sharing software maker that's attempting to go legit, is starting a "Better Know A Blogger" series on its corporate blog. The first victim is Anthony Volodkin, founder of the music blog aggregator The Hype Machine. Never mind that the Hype Machine was cool, like, a year ago. Volodkin briefly discusses his inspiration for the site, which gathers up links to currently popular MP3 files on music blogs, as well as plans to roll out some social media features. Heads up: volodkin is the guy with the long hair in the Firefox shirt. his interviewer fails at introductions 101.
On the "Today Show,", T.V. hostessess Ann Curry was forced to revisit a girl who had hiccups for like five weeks, because it is August and apparently there is nothing to put on the T.V. about Iraq or bridges falling down or quarterbacks named Michael Vick who kill puppies. But the best part is when the girl starts crying and Ann Curry clearly wants to die or cut her own face off to get away from the horrid display.
We feel we do our best to nurture a lesbian-supportive environment here at Defamer, as well as to promote our city's lively and burgeoning underground music scene. But when staff videographer Molly McAleer stumbled upon Box Rock—the titillatingly titled new Sapphic rocker night at Safari Sam's that merges both of these worlds—well, all bets were off. The footage very nearly made us want to climb the Y on the Hollywood sign, and, perched atop the massive, yonic symbol, shout as loud as our lungs could muster, "WE LOVE PUNK DYKES!" to the twinkling city lights below.
Comedy ensued on MSNBC last night when pundit Tucker Carlson happily admitted that when a guy hit on him in a men's room in Georgetown, he went back with "someone I knew and grabbed him... and hit him against the stall with his head." Then the cops came and arrested the gay dude. But not Tucker! The laughs just keep coming; MSNBC top exec (um, and lawyer) Dan Abrams and chatshow host Joe Scarborough were besides themselves with giggles. We're no lawyers ourselves, but didn't Tucker just confess to an actual crime on air?
Former Queen of Mean Leona Helmsley cut her two grandchildren out of her will, but left "probably" hundreds of millions of dollars to charity. Also! $12 million for her dog! On the the "Today Show," the gang puts it in context: "That's a lot of Kibbles 'n' Bits." Right. Actually, it's 9.6 million pounds of Kibbles 'N' Bits. Also, it's unendingly stupid.
