Here's a clip of John Legend creeping out Today Show fourth-hour co-host Hoda Kotb. Just because. Skip to the end (1:00 mark), when Hoda awkwardly pseudo-grinds with Legend and then he simulates going down on her. It's fun for the whole family, or at least the unemployed members.
With Andrew Morton's book on one of Hollywood's most controversial and misunderstood leading men, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography (the U.S. version, with all appopriate Ss replaced by Zs, releases simultaneously), now on store shelves, the heir to Kitty Kelley's loosely sourced, utterly shocking biographical exposé legacy has taken to the interview circuit to promote his work.
Conan O'Brien, still struggling to fill out a nightly talk show without his striking writers, came upon a cunning, time-wasting plan last night: forcing his guests to make it through a maze before sitting down with him. The first guest subjected to the cardboard labyrinth was venerated newsman Tom Brokaw. Brokaw was game, as you can see in the attached clip. SAG-affiliated actors across the entertainment industry are presumably thrilled the picket lines give them a better excuse to turn down Late Night than "I'm barely coordinated enough to intro a clip, let alone make it through a rat maze." [Late Night]
By "world news" I mean "the current favorite video being passed around online." And by that I don't even mean it's the most-watched video of the week, but that this video of an unapologetic Australian hipster ruffian is being passed around every pass-stuff-around site until it seems it's taken over the Internet. Below, a summary of the video and a timeline of how it spread (and of course the video itself).
· Was anyone else watching Vh1 last night from, say, 11pm to 11:06pm? They debuted a bite-sized pop culture rundown ("Best Night Ever") starring the lovely, talented and wholly underrated Jessica St. Clair. We've been repeating her hilariously awkward outgoing sign-off all day. Edward R. Murrow, eat your heart out.
· Speaking of Best Week Ever, their listmaster supreme (aka Dan Hopper) ran down the Ten Least Sexy Nude Scenes in Movie History. Yes, chubby chasers, Kathy Bates made the list.
· Rachel Bilson wearing a star-spangled bikini = newsstand gold. Mark your calendars, this will be the first time we've bought GQ this millenium.
· The Soup has a rare, behind-the-scenes look of how Harvey Levin's pitch meetings at TMZ really go down.
· Garfield sure had a bad day back on January 26, 1995.
· Our favorite line in the HD-DVD viral vid that made the rounds today was "BLADES OF GLORY? Are you FUCKING kidding me?" Also, in the context of this video, is Hitler supposed to be Bill Gates?
Wesley Snipes, the world's surliest vampire hunter, is about to go to trial on some SERIOUS tax evasion charges. Whoopsy daisy, seems that Blade forgot to declare and pay taxes on the $38 million that he made between 1999 and 2004 (we're thinking he made about $38 from 2005 until the present). But The Smoking Gun, being the document sleuths that they are, got their rubber-gloved hands on a document that Wesley filed with an Orange County (FLA, not CA) comptroller back in 2005. We used our computer's highly advanced Ctrl+Alt+Print Screen functionality to grab the image you see above, an image so confusing that it provokes more questions than it could ever possibly answer. First off, is that a hand-drawn self-portrait? It's like Van Gogh meets Rothko meets Rorshach! And second of all, that blood type! Does that mix with AB Negative? We must know. Lastly, that penmanship! We haven't seen so many swirls in a signature since Peggy Sue got married. But wait, there's more!
Dying to watch the poorly edited yet highly scandalous Tom Cruise indoctrination video but don't have nine minutes to kill? We understand. That's why we put intrepid Defamer videographer Molly McAleer on the case, and the 108-second compilation clip she turned in is bound to have the SPs roaring in the aisles (or, more accurately, cowering in a corner somewhere). We've gone through the tech and run our PTSSP drills, now it's your turn.
Yeah, yeah. The MacBook Air looks beautiful. And so does this ad. But it's missing something more than an optical drive, if you ask me. Until I get me some John Hodgman, I'm not sold.
If you wanted to hear Katie Couric say "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit," Harry Shearer has the video for you. With the cameras sending live feed directly to Shearer's magic satellite, you are there as Katie preps for her New Hampshire primary election night coverage, bitches about the mic, repeatedly adjusts her top, announces the death of America's mayor, and says, of John McCain's wife, "she looks like a husky." Watch the whole clip below and fall in love with Katie all over again. [MyDamnChannel]
Didn't get a chance to watch the terrifyingly creepy Tom Cruise video yesterday before Scientologists pulled it off YouTube? Well, we've managed to get our hands on a copy and now we'd like to invite you to watch in all its technicolor glory. Nevermind the orgs, nevermind the SPs and nevermind David Miscaviage, Defamer won't hesitate to put our ethics on ANYONE! Don't miss out, over one billion earth humans have been served. KSW and KFC forever (or something). This is must-see. Do not pass go without watching this video.
The publicity engine for lady-empowering heist flick Mad Money (Without Jim Cramer) rolled on this morning with an appearance by the lovely and talented Diane Keaton on Good Morning America. Diane Keaton spent her segment making Diane Sawyer very uncomfortable. After admitting she'd stolen belts from Bloomingdales 35 years ago (when she was already kinda famous?), Keaton spent a couple minutes expounding on how impossibly hot she finds Sawyer. If Keaton had had lips like Sawyer's, she explains, she never would've needed to work on her "fucking personality." Someone secretly switched Annie Hall with Mary Wilkie—let's see what happens!
Lately I've been watching Web Drifter, an online show that takes the Daily Show's practice of interviewing yokels and crackpots with a straight face, and applies it to the weirdest people on the Internet. Host Martin Sargent visits people like the infamous Peter Pan cosplayer, Hollow Earth believers, and a wizard. There's little of the cloying deadpan voice-over that weakened some Daily Show segments; the show just relies on the subjects' relentless weirdness. By not wrapping up the show in flashy gimmicks, Web Drifter deeply satisfies my need for a freak show. Below, Sargent interviews a man who plans to sail to the North Pole into the Hollow Earth.
· Wondering how Tracy Morgan is spending his downtime from "30 Rock"? Dave Letterman asks the tough questions, the audience gets the uncomfortably honest answer.
· Honest to blog, we can't wait to see Juno Jr.!
· LAist has a strong to very strong interview with our longtime friends/cohorts, The Fug Girls.
· The terminally boring Harry Potter saga may have just gotten one film longer. We're going out on a limb here, but we're going to guess that Voldemort doesn't end up defeating Harry in this one, either.
· Now we know what Justin Timberlake sees when he wipes the sleepy crust away from his eyes each morning.
· We almost ralphed just typing this. We can't imagine what will happen if you actually watch it. That's right, it's the Tiffany "New York" Pollard sex tape.
· And to close the day on a bit of unfortunate but necessary news, tomorrow's Ben Silverman Prom has been postponed. Not cancelled, mind you, just postponed.
We can think of no better way to cap off this splendiferous Monday than with a ribald discussion among the ladies of The View on a topic the French might call a ménage à trois, but Americans more commonly refer to as a delicious McThreeWay. Things quickly get ugly, as family values traditionalist Elisabeth Hasselbeck declares a threesome witchhunt, fingering audience members she suspects of concealing group-sex-tainted pasts.
In lieu of Golden Globes awards speeches, our East Coasted sibling site posted a memorable video package, via Hollywood Interrupted, fêting messianic Scientology mouthpiece Tom Cruise as he accepted their 2005 Freedom Medal of Valor. Like most of Scientology's sacred babblings, the text was never meant to reach outside eyes; the video quickly disappeared from YouTube, soon to shake off from the temporary effects of the tranquilizing serum plunged into its neck and find itself buried alive beneath a patch of carefully attended petunias on the grounds of Gilman Hot Springs HQ.
Let's pretend to talk business for a moment. DVD sales made up only 30 percent of porn publisher Vivid's revenues last year. That's down from around 80 percent, Vivid cofounder Steven Hirsch told the Sydney Morning Herald. He blames the YouTubes of the porn world, free sites offering low-res video. It's a tragedy. It's a shame. You likely don't care.
