Though the lingering fear that the writers strike will render the Oscars nothing more than the most -hyped clip show in show business history caused many to breathlessly bill last night's SAGgies as Hollywood's Only Chance To Throw Itself A Proper, Self-Congratulatory Orgy, we watched the ceremony without any of that unpleasant baggage, choosing to enjoy the show for what it is: two hours of attractive people throwing themselves a big party to publicly celebrate how amazing it is to get paid millions of dollars to prove their disappointed parents and nay-saying high school drama teachers wrong.

In a desperate bid to strip dangerous "bloggers" of their growing influence, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announced this weekend a devious plan to legitimize internet scribblers by employing them in government agencies, thus ensuring that no one will ever take them semi-seriously again. In the attached clip, Hillary suggests the radical new blogger policy as a convenient means of avoiding a question about HOW THE CIA KILLED JOHN KENNEDY. [HuffPo]

Here is the 'In Memoriam' segment that ran at last night's Screen Actor's Guild Awards. Note the really, really famous death at the very end. Note how tacked-on and awkward it seems. Consider then that whoever puts this little montage together had nearly a week to re-edit the footage to seamlessly include Mr. Ledger. Instead, following an unnecessary From Here to Eternity clip, we get a brief, silent (no music even) shot of him and an abrupt cut to commercial. Not that these 'In Memoriam' bits are all that important, but this was just bad.

It's a busy weekend for the Anonymous, the group of hackers and Internet malcontents who declared war on Scientology last week, as they began a series of "raids" of Church of Scientology branches. The war, which Anon has named "Project Chanology," includes a mass media campaign (which the group tracks here), but the organizers do their best stuff online. That's why members of the anti-Scientology campaign have made these five videos over the weekend, including protest footage, manifestos, and an inevitable LOLcats parody.

· Wait a minute: Did Ryan Seacrest think he was giving Ellen a dildo in a fun little gift bag? Oh, that's just a bingo stamper, and not a Big Blue Violator? What a silly mix-up! An honest mistake, really.
· Mona Lisa with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher would've made a much better Rambo poster.
· Mary-Kate Olsen's thought process upon receiving that fateful call from the masseuse, in flowchart form.
· "Those pigs were about 400 pounds each, and there were four of them. I was tied pretty tight into that pigpen by my neck and my hands, and my mouth was gagged. At one point while we were filming one of the pigs broke through the fence and actually came right at me. I was freaking out, and they were rushing in to try to get me out, and of course Sly is in the background yelling, 'Keep the cameras rolling!'"

Yes, we realize that critiquing picket-line chants is so early November '07, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus's recollection on last night's Late Show of her time marching with her WGA brethren transported us all the way back to those early moments of the strike, when each day brought tales of the new and exciting ways writers were communicating their Guild's message.

Attached, Gawker videographer Alexander Goldberg and Defamer videographer Molly McAleer explore the murky limits of bad taste while discussing the coverage (of the coverage of the coverage) of Heath Ledger's death. You will be edified. There will be tears. [Previously]

We must admit, for a reality show we initially wrote off as being pointless and shamelessly derivative, Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel has us by the throats. We'll watch some episodes two, three, 17 times. It's also the rare reality show we insist on watching alone. Go figure! With that surfer/D.J. creep Dominic sent packing by America last night, mumbling something about how ill-fitting shoes have cost him his shot at male supermodel greatness, we could finally get down to brass tacks:

We hadn't yet had an opportunity to snuggle up to Oscar™ Nominated® Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody until David Letterman had her on his show last night, and dare we say the young scribe handled herself with admirable aplomb as she took late night's hottest seat. In a rack-flattering leopard-skin dress, Cody—offering echoes of Lisa Simpson, Bettie Page, and the chick who snatched that last red pepper hummus from us at the Hyperion Trader Joe's—self-deprecatingly relayed all the Oscar-morning excitement, and in the process helped to usher "the buttcrack of dawn" into the popular lexicon. (While "taint of night," sadly, remains fated to the vernacular fringes.)

So the login page might finally be live, but sorry fans, that's as far as you'll get. You still can't access Google Health. Further progress will likely to take at least a few more weeks of daily 90-minute meetings for Marissa Mayer. Even then, don't expect much.

You know what really cracks up Fox News host John Gibson? The untimely death of Heath Ledger! The one thing John Gibson knows about Heath Ledger is that Heath Ledger kissed a boy in a gay movie for gay gays, and therefore, he was probably a total gay himself, in real life. Therefore, his death is hilarious! On his radio program the other day, the hero journalist mocked Ledger's death something like half a dozen times, opening his show with a hilarious quip about Ledger quitting us and wondering if perhaps the actor killed himself after witnessing the poor performace of John Edwards in the last presidential debate. It's funny 'cause the authorities no longer suspect suicide! Even the guests joined in, with funnyman Tom Sullivan calling him "Keith Bledger" and the lady cohost whose name we didn't catch wondering, mockingly, if Keith was perhaps a "deep thinker." Can you believe that wacky morning zoo crew went there? They're saying what we're not really thinking, because what the fuck? Listen and sputter! [Think Progress, MSNBC, Previously]

Please help us settle the contentious debate that rocked the Official Defamer American Idol Cattle Call Show Viewing Party last night: Was San Diego hopeful Alberto Hurtado actually the touchingly naive, peace-spreading angel descended from Heaven's gentlest hippie commune he claimed to be, wanting nothing more than to step "outside his walls" to share a message of love with Simon, Randy and Paula?

If there's one double-edged curse/blessing plaguing us all, as a species, it's probably our capability to love too much: An overprotective parent's smothering love of a child. A neglectful husband's love of golf. And then there's that thing going on between Harvey Levin and his sippy-cup. Wherever Harv goes, the smooth black cylinder goes with him, its thin, green, periscopic straw peeking out, waiting to satisfy the TMZ chief tactical engineer's frequent thirsts.

Rough day! Heath's dead, we all feel bad for caring/not caring/profiting wildly, the stock market's still crazy, and Bill Clinton is shouting a lot. But hey, a guy turned his iPhone into a guitar!

Where were you when you found out about Heath Ledger? We were struggling with a dead MacBook battery, and about three-quarters of our way through a post on what could well have been one of the most pointless moments in the history of Western civilization: Clay Aiken visiting The View to talk about his new life as a Broadway gypsy. We quickly shelved that post, but one day later, it feels as if we now more than ever need to see Clay dropping to his knees, pulling Joy, Sherri, Whoopsters, and Elisabeth down with him, for a demonstration of the Diddler on the Roof-inspired Russian dancing required of him in Spamalot. Job have mercy, that seems like a lot of fun, doesn't it?

Who knew L. Ron Hubbard was such a superhero? In this recently unearthed clip from Orientation: A Scientology Information Film, two robotically-pitched Scientology mouthpieces claim that LRH singlehandedly unmasked "the government's" system of "mind control" using nothing but his creative genius (saving millions of Earth Human lives along the way). That is, when he wasn't busy being "fully professional" in 29 other fields. The video also includes cultish quippets from "Actress" Anne Archer and "Actress" Kirstie Alley, the latter of whom calmly explains that "without scientology, I would be dead." But it's not just popular-in-the-`80s actresses giving Hubbard praise; hear from opera singers! Fashion designers! Exercise physiologists! And the most flamboyantly gay chef we've ever seen, or heard, in our collective lives.