We thought we'd set a record when we made it past the police cordon at 133 East 64th Street and into Bernie Madoff's lobby with a delivery of Chinese food. But it looks like the New York Post can now lay claim to the title of having gotten closest to the penthouse of the Ponzi mastermind. A Post reporter posing as a real estate broker made it to the hallway just outside Bernie's apartment before he was arrested by cops on Saturday for trespassing. If anyone wants to pose as a refrigerator repairman, please let us know. [NYDN]

Barry Diller turns 67 today. Gossip columnist Liz Smith is 86. Christie Brinkley is celebrating her 55th. Shakira is turning 32. The Food Network's Ina Garten, better known as the Barefoot Contessa, is 61. Veteran actress Elaine Stritch is turning 84. Marissa Jaret Winokur of Hairspray fame is 36. Farrah Fawcett is turning 62. And Dog the Bounty Hunter's Duane Chapman turns 56 today.

• President Obama is expected to push for tight restrictions on executive compensation in order to improve public perception of the bailout. [WSJ]
• A group of angry Bank of America shareholders will demand that Ken Lewis get the boot at the bank's upcoming annual meeting. [NYP]
• Lehman Brothers is still hiring people to help wind down the firm. And it's receiving a ton of resumes from out-of-work Wall Streeters. [WSJ]
• Weill-gate continues: Now it turns out Sandy Weill used a Citi jet to go on a Mexican vacation, although he may reimburse Citi for some expenses. [NYP]
• Deutsche Bank plans to cut bonuses by an average of 60 percent. [BN]
• Fortune explains why Merrill had such a disastrous fourth quarter. [Fortune]
• Consumer spending fell in December for a sixth consecutive month. [BN]

• Kate Moss has been telling friends that she wants to branch out into acting so she can become a "Hollywood star," and that she's already lined up an agent in New York. [Showbiz Spy]
• Michael Phelps has issued an apology after photos appeared this weekend in the News of the World showing him smoking weed. [NYP, NOTW]
• Bernie Madoff's grandkids are considering changing their last names. [P6]
• John Thain was hardly the first or the last: Clive Davis, Martin Bandier, and Rolf Schmidt-Holtz have all spent obscene amounts in recent years to redecorate their offices, too. [R&M]
• Despite the fact her magazine is losing millions and has laid off dozens, Portfolio's Joanne Lipman insisted on flying first class to Davos. [P6]

• The Max Azria dress that Angelina Jolie wore to the SAG Awards? She wore it backwards. [NYM]
• Marc Jacobs is slashing the guest list for his Feb. 16th show. [WWD]
• Target has a temporary McQueen shop planned for next month. [Racked]
• The backstory on why Fabien Baron was pushed out at Interview. [WWD]
• Jane Mayle's store isn't closing; it will be around through April. [Pipeline]
• Two brands doing well despite the recession: H&M and Mango. [WWD]
• Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat is Smithsonian-bound. [SW]

Bernie Madoff has a new legal foe to contend with. Jonathan Lee Riches, who is currently in prison in South Carolina for wire fraud, has submitted papers to a judge in which he claims he handed over money to Madoff, but then lost it when Bernie put it in a "Swiss account Ponzi." The best bit: "Riches claims he met Madoff in 2001 via the online dating site eHarmony.com and the two had an intimate relationship." Before you get too alarmed, you may want to keep in mind that this is the same man who sued Michael Vick for $63 billion in 2007 for stealing his pit bulls and using the proceeds to buy missiles from Iran. [Dealbook]

Diane von Furstenberg is branching out yet again. In an interview with the Florida's Centre Daily Times, DVF let it drop she's been dabbling in interior design, and now plans to design a few rooms at Claridge's, her fave London hotel. We're going to chalk this up to a little payback considering Andre Balazs' new Standard Hotel in the meatpacking district now shadows over DVF's "diamond-shaped glass bedroom." [Centre Daily Times via HC]

• A list of bars and restaurants where you can eat and drink (and watch the game, of course) on Super Bowl Sunday. [Gothamist, TONY, Citysearch]
• The Spotted Pig will be closed on Sunday. Please plan accordingly. [DBTH]
• A list of the 13 restaurants that closed this week. [Eater]
• How Chloe 81 went from buzz to backlash in a few short months. [NYO]
• Cafe Select's back room now has its own separate entrance; you'll have to go through a sidewalk grate and utility tunnel to get there. [GS]
• Suba's new owners are turning it into a Mexican food restaurant. [TFB]
• Unemployed? You qualify for a free drink at the Delancey on Mondays. [UD]

A bevy of models turned out on Wednesday night to celebrate Australian photographer Russell James' new book at the Stephan Weiss studio. Host Donna Karan and guests like Alan Cumming, Desiree Gruber, Ally Hilfiger, Douglas Hannant, Veronica Webb, and Josh Bernstein mingled with models like Alessandra Ambrosio (left), Angela Lindvall, Erin Wasson, Doutzen Kroes, Brooklyn Decker, Noemie Lenoir, Julie Henderson, Zuzana Gregorova, and Oluchi. [PMc, Wireimage, FWD]

Clusterstock got its hands on the floorplan of Bernie Madoff's penthouse at 133 East 64th Street, which the Post reported today is expected to hit the market in the near future. (There are two penthouses in the building; we understand Bernie's is the one on the left.) Expect tours of the apartment to be very awkward: Since Bernie can't actually leave the place, he may have to hang out in another room while prospective buyers take a look around.

Looks like things have taken a turn for the worse for the ladies of DABA (or "Dating a Banker Anonymous") who made such a splash—and created such controversy—this week thanks to an absurd story about them in the New York Times. Following yesterday's revelation that the whole thing might have just been an elaborate hoax to score a book deal, today comes word that one of the site's founders, Laney Crowell (left), has been fired from her job at Stylecaster for "being on the phone with her new agent."

What's a tabloid to do when there are no C-list celebrities willing to talk about Jessica Simpson's weight gain? Talk to the woman who designed her wedding dress in 2002, of course! Unfortunately, Vera Wang doesn't actually know much about what Jessica has been up to as of late—and you thought they gabbed on the phone every day!—which is probably why her answer comes off as a little bit vague: "Weight is a very personal issue. I think it has to do with a lot of other conditions. And, you know, I don't know what's going on in her life. I certainly can't comment, but she's a very good girl, so I'm sorry to hear that." Thanks for weighing in anyway! [Us]

Mort Zuckerman's foundation lost $30 million when he handed over funds to money manager Ezra Merkin, who in turn invested the money with Bernie Madoff. So has Mort had any words with Merkin, who he's publicly promised to bury in a legal avalanche? Indeed he has! "I had one brief conversation," he tells the Financial Times. "I would describe it as intense." [FT]

• A round of staff cuts at the Journal may come next week. [Portfolio]
• CBS and David Letterman are negotiating a new deal to keep him on the network after his contract expires in 2010. [B&C]
• Is The New Yorker in trouble? [Gawker]
• Gannett, the largest U.S. newspaper company, is writing off $5 billion. [E&P]
• Dreamworks and Pepsi have a 3D commercial airing during the Super Bowl on Sunday. You'll need special glasses to watch it, however. [Time]

A Queens restaurant has a novel way to appeal to penny-pinching diners. The Daily News reports that beginning February 3rd, Tierra Sana in Forest Hills will offer customers a "Pay What You Want" special, and patrons will get to decide how much to pay for their meals. That sound you just heard? That was every restaurateur in town gasping at the prospect the horrifying idea catches on. [NYDN]

Marisa Noel Brown has been keeping busy. Despite the fact her father and husband have seen their reputations go up in smoke the last few weeks, face a slew of lawsuits, and will probably never live down the shame of having enabled Bernie Madoff for so long, the society fixture has made it to two events over the past week or so, including the Gilt Group's anniversary party last Thursday and yesterday's Junior Collector's Night at Doubles. Unfortunately, her peers haven't been quite as thrilled by her presence, at least judging by the look on Jennifer Creel's face, who'd probably rather be sticking pins in her eyes rather than stand next to Brown, but who manages to put on a brave nonetheless. Commenters on the socialite blog Park Avenue Peerage haven't been any kinder: "Marisa get out!!! You should have be in jail!!! Take all you family with you!!!!" says one. But at least Marisa was thoughtful enough to wear black, no?

As Wall Street's recklessness brings the country to its knees—and as the nearly $20 billion in bonuses claimed by bankers after the crisis began triggers mass outrage—is it time for the return of the bank robber as folk hero? The FBI is seeing a significant leap in bank robberies in many U.S. cities, including New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, and just as the real life Bonnie and Clyde were cheered on by the public during the Great Depression, one reporter suggests that it's now "proving hard to keep the public on the side of the law when banks are the only victims and the average haul is just $10,000, chump change on Wall Street." On a related note, Faye Dunaway is said to be unhappy that Hilary Duff will reprise the role of Bonnie in a remake of the 1967 classic, but we're guessing she'll be pleased that robbing banks for a living has never been more fashionable.

Carolyn Gusoff covered the Long Island beat for WNBC until the station let her go in December as part of a round of budget cuts. It's been a rocky transition for the vapid TV reporter—or so she says in a Newsday opinion piece—as she details the "harrowing and debasing ordeal" involved in filing for unemployment, and the challenge of paying for gas, parking and phone bills when you don't have any income coming in. Even tougher? Just looking for a job is more expensive than keeping one, since job interviews require that her nails "be perfect" and her hair has to be coiffed just right. It's a good thing she won't have to worry about paying out of pocket to keep up with her plastic surgery habit. Her husband—as she neglects to point out amid all the worries of mounting phone and cable bills—is prominent plastic surgeon Jon Turk.

At the annual Sidaction AIDS benefit dinner in Paris last night, Carla Bruni, in purple strapless satin Yves Saint Laurent, did what she does best: reveled in the spotlight and upstaged every other dolled-up female—Mischa Barton, Vanessa Paradis, Diane Kruger, Dita von Teese, Milla Jovovich, Laeticia Casta, Dasha Zhukova, Virginie Ledoyen—in the room.

Have you been laid off recently? Are you so depressed about the state of the job market that you find yourself sleeping all day? Have we got a job for you! The New Museum says it's looking for women ages 18 to 40 to take sleeping pills and sleep on a bed in the middle of the museum from 12pm to 6pm daily as a part of a new exhibit by artist Chu Yun. Even better: The museum is paying $10 an hour for the gig, which is a lot more than you're getting for sleeping in your own bed. Insomniacs and people with a fear of exhibitionism need not apply! [New Yorkology]