Matt Damon unpacking luggage with his wife and daughter in front of his apartment building on Lafayette Street ... Britney Spears arriving at JFK ... Cameron Diaz walking in the Village with boyfriend Paul Sculfor ... David and Victoria Beckham making an appearance at Macy's in Herald Square for the launch of their new fragrance ... Taylor Momsen on the set of Gossip Girl in Queens ... Katie Holmes carrying Suri and then later heading to dinner with Tom at Il Valentino on East 56th Street ... Anne Hathaway leaving the premiere of The Class at Avery Fisher Hall ... Jennifer Hudson at the airport ... James Franco looking at his Blackberry ... Brooke Shields leaving NBC after an appearance on Conan O'Brien's show ... and Michelle Williams leaving the premiere of her new movie, Wendy and Lucy, at the Ziegfeld Theater.

Fresh off her VMAs victory and rumored reunion with Kevin Federline, Britney Spears continues to pound the comeback trail like it was a naughty windshield in need of a good pummelling-by-umbrella. Her latest salvo is the new single "Womanizer," the first track off her upcoming album Circus. According to Us Weekly, Spears started shooting the video this week in Los Angeles under the guidance of "Toxic" helmer Joseph Kahn, donning a wig (another reunion!) and straddling a businessman in what's being called "erotic" choreography. In the meantime, we have the single right here — have a listen (and a Cheeto). [Us]

♦ Charges will not be filed against Shia LaBeouf in connection with his car accident in LA in July. He may still lose his license, though, for failing to submit to a blood-alcohol test after the crash. [E!]
♦ Lindsay Lohan is so scared of her dad that she may take out an order of protection against him. [P6]
♦ Last week it was rumored Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli had split up. Now it's rumored they're back together. [OK!]
♦ Robert De Niro is a giant pain to work with who makes "weird midnight phone calls." Or at least that's what Harvey Weinstein and Quentin Tarantino said in a taped phone conversation from 1997 that's just now been leaked. [P6]
♦ Julia Roberts left the Waverly Inn covered up in a pashmina, which means it's time for a fresh round of rumors that she's secretly pregnant. [The Sun]

And by “hit,” we mean go to “couples counseling with.” You heard right: hot on the heels of Britney’s triumphant/manufactured MTV comeback, the National Enquirer is reporting that she and K-Fed are “undergoing couples counseling to rebuild their relationship in the hopes that they can raise their two sons as a family.” What’s more, “part of their therapy involves going on formal dates and Britney is so excited. She’s never stopped loving Kevin or hoping they’d get back together.” While we appreciate any occasion for K-Fed to wear his "fancy" trucker hat, and further, are pleased for young Sean Preston and Jayden James, we still think getting back together might be a mistake.Remember several years ago when Britney was fairly normal and we were all horrified that she hooked up with a total douche like K-Fed? Well, Britney is the most normal she’s been since then—she’s in good shape, she’s hard at work on a new album, she’s kind of got an acting thing kinda going—and getting back with Federline could derail all that. In fact, it could be argued that her relationship with K-Fed is what sent her into a downward spiral in the first place, so we just hope this therapist knows what he’s doing. In the meantime, we’re gonna hold out hope for Justin Timberlake to dump Jessica Biel, kick K-Fed’s ass to the curb, and get back with Britney so they can regain their crown as the king and queen of uptempo-R&B-flavored teen dance pop. Thank you. [Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Star magazine claimed Lindsay Lohan quit Alcoholics Anonymous an has been drinking, doing cocaine and cutting herself as her life spirals out of control. Lohan already called the story "ridiculous" and slammed Star's track record in a pre-emptive MySpace strike Friday.

The Lynne Spears Redemption Tour continues, with the mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn sitting down with Newsweek to discuss her new book, Through the Storm (also known as The Lynne Spears Guide to Fucking Up Your Children). Talk turned to vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, whose daughter Bristol supposedly received a gift from fellow teen mother Jamie Lynn. Now, though, it seems like Lynne is having second thoughts about that show of solidarity — in fact, she wants to know why Sarah Palin is attracting so much more support than she is:

• Angelina Jolie supposedly threatened to leave Brad Pitt because he was never home at their filthy French chateau with the six kids. God knows why. [Sun]

♦ You probably heard the news yesterday that Clay Aiken is coming out of the closet. We thought we'd remind you again since you're undoubtedly still in a state of shock and disbelief. [P6, People]
♦ Anna Wintour took the trash out of her West Village townhouse wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and slippers. [R&M]
♦ Olivia Palermo's role in Whitney Port's new Hills spinoff will earn her $12,000 an episode. [P6]
♦ In response to her father's recent rants, Lindsay Lohan says her dad is out of line and "obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods." [P6]
♦ Jude Law was spotted with protestors outside the UN this week, although he was acting like "more of an observer than a protestor." [MSNBC]

♦ Samantha Ronson refused to DJ an event at Rubyfruit, allegedly because she doesn't spin at gay or lesbian bars. Her rep, of course, denies this. [P6]
♦ David Spade didn't turn up at Eric Trump's charity golf tournament in New Jersey last week because he thought it was taking place at Trump's LA course. [P6]
♦ An Atlantic City monsignor wants his name added to the list of Raffaello Follieri's victims. He says he gave the Italian playboy $110,000 because Raffaello said he needed the funds to pay some nuns. [NYDN]
♦ MTV has finally confirmed Whitney Port's Hills spinoff. It will begin airing in early 2009. [E!]
♦ How exciting! Mike Bloomberg will become an honorary citizen of Tbilisi, Georgia tomorrow night. [P6]

Adding one more scandal to Wal-Mart's long list of corporate infractions, a federal criminal investigation is underway after photos of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding her daughter, Maddie, have leaked. Jamie Lynn's boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, apparently dropped off his camera card at a Louisiana outpost of the store, where an employee may have made extra copies of an image in which Jamie Lynn's underaged left breast is exposed. The employee is now peddling off that picture, as well as others, including one of her in a negligee. Wasilla Wal-mart workers, take note. In other Spears family body news, Britney's weight fluctuates yet again:We know we're not the only ones who heard the"I'm Mrs. 'She's Too Big, Now She's Too Thin'" lyric in Britney's song Piece of Me and wondered: 'in the age of idealized anorexia, who ever thought Britney was too thin?' Now we have our culprit: the Daily Mail said BritBrit looked "unbelievably svelte" while grabbing her nightly frappucino this weekend before catching My Best Friend's Girl, in which her vagina starred as the left side of Dane Cook's face. [Photo Credits: X17, Getty Images]

♦ Martha Stewart has been busy wielding the ax. First she fired one of her show's directors; now she's cut her longtime hairstylist/makeup artist, allegedly because the staffer was spending too much on makeup and hair dye. [P6]
♦ The doctor who has been treating DJ AM and Travis Barker since their plane crash on Friday says both men should make full recoveries. Four others died in the wreck and investigators now suspect a blown tire was the cause. [People, LAT]
♦ Ron Perelman and Pat Duff are still fighting in court over their daughter Caleigh. It seem the teenager is still skipping out on those court-ordered visits with her mom. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan will be a judge on the first episode of next season's Project Runway. [NYDN]
♦ Tina Fey was a big winner at the Emmys last night. You can check out a full list of winners here. [ET]

It ain't easy being Lynne Spears: sure, you can live off the wealth accumulated from your daughters' hard work and sell their teen pregnancy secrets to OK! for a million dollars, but occasionally, people will think you're a bad parent! That's why it's important for Lynne to set the record straight, and the Today Show gave her just the forum this morning. Hawking her book Through the Storm, Lynne discussed the perils of overexposing your children, something that will surely be nipped in the bud by her incredibly revealing tell-all about daughter Britney's loss of virginity. Congratulations, Lynne: here's your celebratory Cheeto. [Today]

• Alec Baldwin hates TMZ's Harvey Levin, who made famous Baldwin's abusive voice mail to his 11-year-old daughter and who, Baldwin writes, "seemed to be that breed of tabloid creature that realized an almost sexual level of pleasure from ruining other people's lives." Previously, the voice mail had been the fault of the daughter, then the media, then the entire family court system. Oh, also, his ex-wife, who "reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." Sounds familiar!

♦ In his new book, Alec Baldwin goes off on TMZ's Harvey Levin, and says that the fallout from his infamously leaked voicemail made him want to commit suicide. [R&M]
♦ Barbra Streisand sang four songs at an Obama fundraiser last night. Attendees included Leonardo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen. [Fox News]
♦ Anne Hathaway acted like a bit of a diva at an event in Toronto. She also smokes, which her publicist doesn't want you to know. [OK!, R&M]
♦ Sarah Palin's "secretive circle of stylists" dressed her in a $2,500 Valentino jacket for her big speech at the Republican convention. [P6]
♦ Bad news: Hugh Hefner says all three of the Girls Next Door are getting spinoffs. [E!]
♦ Even worse news: Heidi Montag and her sister Holly are "developing a top-secret project" together. [LAT]

Click to viewBoomp3.com A bodyguard in charge of protecting Hollywood’s latest comeback queen, Britney Spears, appeared to be in the midst of a rather intense game of cops and robbers at Starbucks yesterday. Justin, Spears’ main bodyguard (and the robber in today’s adventure) said, “Every day is pretty much a slow day since the conversatorship. So, a couple of the other guys and myself run around the neighborhood playing cops & robbers. It helps us focus and stay alert just in case she has another meltdown." Another bodyguard, Bobby, fondly recalled an epic game that took place last week and involved virtually the whole neighborhood. Bobby said, “It was like that movie Heat. Everybody running around. Making the sound effects with the mouths, hiding behind flipped over red wagons. It was great.” According to Justin and Bobby, Monday’s game was partly inspired by the Sylvester Stallone classic, Cobra. [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

• Jennifer Lopez competed in a triathalon in Malibu, then flew to New York to throw Marc Anthony a birthday party at the Bowery Hotel. It's unclear, though, if she ever had an injured foot, which was the reason she gave for pulling out of the Project Runway finale last week and now some are wondering if a fight with Harvey Weinstein over a movie role was the real reason she cancelled. [People, NYDN, MSNBC]

After a long history of exclusively dating poseurs and paparazzi, comeback-adjacent singer Britney Spears may be taking on her biggest romantic challenge yet: Russell Brand. Though their first meeting at a VMAs commercial went poorly, with Spears recoiling from the comedian and calling him "Russell Brown," the Daily Mail reports that the two hooked up this week (noting, in their helpfully British way, that Brand is "an ex-drug and sex addict"):

• David Letterman had his second-highest ratings of the year last night thanks to Barack Obama's appearance. [THR]

• More on NBC's decision to drop Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews from covering the election on MSNBC: Olbermann got a raise out of the deal, Matthews didn't, and NBC chief Jeff Immelt may or may not have be behind the move. [P6]

• Today host Ann Curry moved during the national anthem at the Republican National Convention, because NBC hates freedom. Then she pointed at a nice lady from Alaska and yelled, because she is a terrorist. The Virgin Islands were also terribly offended. [P6]