Bill O'Reilly just aired the much-hyped but apparently very brief video Fox News has of civil rights leader Jesse Jackson saying he wants to "cut [Barack Obama's] nuts off." It sounds like Jackson is upset over the Democratic presidential candidate's position on faith-based federal initiatives. But that's beside the point. First off, what left-wing political activist worth his salt whispers sensitive, private thoughts like these while fully mic-ed at a Fox News affiliate? More to the point, did Jackson learn absolutely nothing from the "Hymietown" fiasco in 1984, when he tried to make off-the-record remarks about Jews in New York to reporters on a campaign airplane flight? Anyway, Jackson has already apologized, and the two guests brought on by O'Reilly didn't think it was a big deal (one because Jackson already apologized, and one because he argues Jackson's not taken seriously anymore anyway) . Video of Jackson's comments and text of his apology are after the jump. UPDATE: O'Reilly also said Fox News has audio of Jackson that is "more damaging that what you heard" but won't air it because it's not relevant and the sensitive network is not out to get Jesse Jackson. Video after the jump. UPDATE 2:

Oh hey look everyone, Jesse Jackson said terrible things about Barack Obama while a microphone was on, and now, oddly, Fox News has this tape! Sean Hannity talked about it on the radio today, and Bill O'Reilly will be playing the tape tonight, on his show. OMG they are creaming themselves. Drudge already has the apology and no one has heard the tape yet! Reportedly, the Reverend is upset that Obama "talks down to black people on matters of faith," and then, more colorfully, he says he wants to rip Obama's nuts off. Maybe? "Hannity would not say 'nuts,' but based on his description (portion of the male anatomy beginning with an 'n') I believe that's the word he was going for." So this is basically great news for everyone!

Barack Obama, his wife Michelle, and his daughters Malia Ann and Sasha all sat down for an adorable interview with Access Hollywood. They are sitting in, perhaps, some sort of backlot western town set. Someone named Maria Menounos is being all Access Hollywood-y at them. But still, in the 30s seconds of interview available so far, we have to admit that we don't hate Barack Obama's kids. They're making fun of his ratty old clothes, all sitcom-like! This celeb media offensive seems to be paying off. Maybe Michelle should become a Best Week Ever talking head or something next? Hooray for no substance! Clip after the jump.

Look, it's easy to make fun of Maureen Dowd. We do it all the time! Talk about nothing of substance, psychoanalyze pols, imply that male Democrats are effete and female politicians of all stripes are raging harridans, bash the Clintons, toss in some increasingly out of date pop cultural references, and stir with occasional tired Bush-mocking. What you shouldn't do is pretend Maureen wrote a column exposing the secret fact that all of Obama's donors are Muslims and Communists, or something. Which is what one enterprising Obama critic has done!

Yesterday, the plane carrying presidential candidate Barack Obama was forced to make an unscheduled landing in St. Louis. The plane, an MD-80, experience pitch problems after an emergency slide in the tail cone inadvertently deployed in the tail cone. Which we have never ever heard of happening before. We're not saying it was sabotage but, you know, we just saw this:

Looking to spend some quality face time with Barack Obama? Got some spare cash sitting around? Good news: Barack will be spending the next couple of days in New York and he'd love your help in filling up his campaign war chest! After the jump, details on where the Democratic nominee will be raising funds in Manhattan, and exactly how much loot you'll be able to stuff into his pockets at the events if you so desire.

Bill Clinton's labor secretary, Robert Reich, gave an interview for the Times magazine this weekend focused largely on economic and political issues. But he also recounted a college date he had with Hillary Clinton, apparently before she moved on from 4-foot-10 Reich to barbecue-fed, 6-foot-2 Bill. Reich, who publicly repudiated the Clintons starting in December, of course used his memory of the date as yet another chance to shiv the couple, by painting Hillary as a budget-busting glutton for grease:

The stifling corporation that serves as government in the year 2700 is a composite of McDonalds, Wal-Mart and Halliburton; the bloated humans in their floating barcaloungers represent the evolutionary destiny of a species sedated by automation, fast-food and electronic displays; and the call to save the planet could have come from Al Gore, had he the wit and computer graphics skills. Rich is not the only commentator to tease out Wall-E's political agenda: some conservatives have even called for a boycott of the movie and its merchandise.

Last week Russell Simmons was in the news after his divorce settlement with Kimora Lee Simmons was made public. Simmons didn't comment on the settlement, which revealed that Kimora is getting sole custody of their kids and Russell will have to cough up half a million dollars a year in child support, but today he offers up the heartwarming tale of how he met his current girlfriend, 25-year-old model-turned-yoga instructor Porschla Coleman:

While political pundits gasp with awe at the amount of money Barack Obama has been able to raise online, the leftist wonks at Alternet are ringing the alarm bell over the candidate's support of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act amendments pending in Congress. The bill would broadly expand executive powers to conduct warrantless wiretaps, as well as grant immunity to telcos which voluntarily participated in the illegal surveillance of American citizens at the current administration's request.

The great myth of every presidential campaign since 1996: This is the year that the Internet changes everything. The Valley would like to take credit for Barack Obama's coronation as the Democratic contender — after all, didn't Facebook cofounder Chris Hughes leave the hot startup to run Obama's Web operation? Obama did milk his tricked-out website for much-needed publicity, it's true. But now that he's hit the big time, he's spending his money on television, not the Web. Obama, McCain, the parties, and other political actors are expected to spend a record $800 million on television ads between now and the November election. Why spend money online? Targeted advertising means that Obama's just preaching to the converted, who persist in the delusion that inbound hyperlinks tracked by Technorati are as good as votes. They're not, and Obama knows it — which is why he's using the Web to take money, not spend it. As ever, Washington sees Silicon Valley as good for only one thing: its pocketbook, not its ideas.

Accel Partners' Joe Schoendorf has asserted in the past that betting against venture capitalist Vinod Khosla is a good way to lose money. One reason why is because Khosla covers his bets — in the primary election cycle, Khosla donated the maximum amount allowable for an individual, $2,300, to the campaigns of Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Barack Obama. Since 1986, the India-born venture capitalist has given a total of $63,800 to Democrats and $19,400 to Republicans. But now that the primary season is over and Obama and McCain are due to be coronated by their parties at the summer conventions, which horse will Khosla be riding?

"Did Google use its network of online services to silence critics of Barack Obama?" asks New York Times reporter Miguel Helft today, in what reads like the Gray Lady's attempt to do Valleywag-style gossipmongering. There's something very wrong with the post: Read it and see if you think Helft believed for a minute that any Google employees deliberately and maliciously turned off a few Google-hosted blogs supporting Hillary Clinton and John McCain.

So, the other day on Fox News, amidst a rant about Obama's support from the liberal Hollywood elite, the decidedly un-elite Stephen Baldwin told Laura Ingram that he'll leave the country if Barack gets elected. Obviously, the knee-jerk reaction here is to say, "Then we'd better do our best to make sure that happens." You can see it on Baldwin's face right after he makes his statement. He knows he's gonna get murdered in the blogsphere. But that's not happening here. Not today. I like Baldwin, and I'd be sad not to have him as a citizen of our country.

Garen Thomas, author of Santa's Kwanzaa and Let's Go: The Budget Guide to Rome (1995), has written a biography of Barack Obama targeted to young adults, and it seems to imply that he's the messiah. The Wall Street Journal's review characterizes her writing as "hagiography", "worshipful", and anything but even-handed. Clearly, this is an attempt to propagandize to the key bookish middle-schooler demographic.

At the Personal Democracy Forum last week, Barely Political sent correspondent Amber Lee "Obama Girl" Ettinger to ask attendees what they though about technology's role in politics or something. Hobbyist pundit Craig Newmark, however, took the opportunity to show off some of his dance moves in a self-deprecating but probably less than insincere attempt to be Obama Boy. Newmark, however, will have to get in line — Obama's campaign has inspired more bromantic overtures than yesterday's pride parades.

Oh, honestly. Slate and editor Jacob Weisberg stumbled onto a great thing back in 2000 when they began collecting George W. Bush's various verbal slip-ups and mistakes. The complete "Bushisms" was not only a great writes-itself regular feature for the site, it also made a nice book. But now, the Bush era is drawing to a close. How shall they replace their beloved Bushisms? With some bullshit that still makes no sense to us at all, months after they introduced it. Obamaisms. Which are not actually things Barack Obama has said (or even things that anyone, anywhere has said), but... words and phrases that Slate writers have clumsily wedged the candidate's oh-so-funny name into. For no reason. It upset us when it launched in February, and now they are pimping the book. Lord save us, this is the first time we've prayed for a McCain presidency. We're going to re-embed the "widget" below so you can see how mind-bogglingly pointless it is for yourself!

Before he's even gone down in history for doing anything, Barack Obama is enjoying the company of the likes of Che Guevara and Bob Marley as a "statement" t-shirt. "Young people are acting like it's some kind of revolution," says a Union Square vendor who sells T-shirts hand-painted with images of Obama. "He's in demand right now. He's selling better than everybody." Naturally, Urban Outfitters is selling a bunch of Obama-slogan shirts—but we wonder how many of the hiptards snapping up "Obama for Yo Mama" and "Barack 'n' Roll" shirts have any idea that their money is going straight to Urban Outfitters' billionaire owner Richard Hayne, staunch conservative and frequent contributor to Republican causes and candidates like Rick Santorum. Ah, the irony: For every Barack t-shirt an idealistic kid buys at UO, a few pennies drop in the campaign coffers of Republicans like John McCain.

Now even Matt Lauer is doing it! In a report on a forthcoming report on how George W. Bush forgot to capture Osama bin Laden for a couple years and is now trying extra hard to finish that up before finals, Lauer called the terrorist mastermind—three guesses—"Obama." He quickly corrected himself, of course. Look what Fox has done to us! This is why everyone should just call him "Barry Hussein" like we do. Because this makes it official: everyone who is on television regularly has now made The Slip.

Visiting Barack Obama's social network is like taking home the nice, all-natural hippie deodorant you know is better for you. Only it's on the internet, and they want you to invite your friends, and his campaign is really damn proud of it — and all of their "social media" efforts — having only cost them $1.1 million but raised $200 million and thousands of volunteers. But if Blue State Digital's electioneering effort was so successful, why has no one pointed out the hilarity in naming the destination site MyBO? We would have been using that punchline for months now.