In an effort to help advertisers beat you and your god damn TiVos, the Jimmy Kimmel Show is about to start selling live ad segments that will be integrated into the episodes, rendering you incapable of skipping them. Still possible for you to skip: the Jimmy Kimmel Show. [Adweek]

A tipster in Hell's Kitchen writes in to say that marketers for allergy medicine Zyrtec have been tearing down fliers in her neighborhood and replacing them with fake guerilla-style advertisements for their product. The worst part? "Yesterday there was a flyer for a missing kitten here, apparently they took it down and put this ad up." They are endangering kittens in order to make money. Simply despicable. Below, a picture of the fiendish ad—do not be taken in by its similarity to a flier offering guitar lessons.

Ryanair, the cheap European airline that you used that one time you got drunk on vacation in London and said "Dude, let's just go to fucking Dublin RIGHT NOW," is in a spat with regulators over the quality of its ads [NYT]. Well, not exactly the quality—they suck, obviously. The ad pictured got Ryanair in trouble with the UK advertising authorities because it "appeared to link teenage girls with sexually provocative behavior." Maybe true, but it also appears to link Ryanair's advertising department with one guy who has only a pair of scissors, a book of clip art, and a Xerox machine. And when the regulators tried to crack down, the company responded: hell, all these newspapers are dens of iniquity themselves! Our ad fits right in!

What exactly is Starbucks doing? They came out with their revolutionary, game-changing, not quite as burnt new house coffee last week, which pairs well with chocolate marble loaf. But along with the new $11,000 machines to make said coffee, the Death Star-like chain has introduced new coffee cups, and they're... brown? Was the design consultant who knows how to appeal to yuppies sick the day that decision was made? And now the company has bigger problems: McDonald's is determined to kick Starbucks' ass right where it lives. In Seattle!

The American Apparel ad spoofer is still at large, and he or she has been following the news. The newest posters to appear in downtown Manhattan feature a simple Woody Allen face, along with a cute little slogan. No porn this time! Allen is suing AA in real life for using his image without permission; now his lawyers have another target to hunt down. Click through to see a large version of the other Allen ad spoof [Stereohell via Copyranter] after the jump.

I know I know I'm posting an ad as a "thing we actually like." But I figure it won't move the product anyway, which I can't elaborate on for fear of ruining the joke. So here's the clip.

Skyy Vodka belatedly saw a good opportunity for some free PR with this whole Absolut Mexico ad brouhaha, which really hit its zenith a week ago. But the second-rate liquor company came lumbering in today with a faux-cheeky press release about how they support the Treaty of Hidalgo, which ended the Mexican-American War in 1848. Oh they don't want America to be Mexico. We get it! And Skyy has now reaped some added benefit by drawing the public support of the flag-waving xenophobe crowd at BoycottAbsolut.com! Full press release, with choice patriotic quotes opposing invasion of the US, after the jump.

The New York Sun, the little neocon paper we glance at so you don't have to, has a provocative question: what if Absolut, instead of making ads about Mexico taking over America, made an ad about TIBET? It's as if Matt Sanchez has surreptitiously landed a job on the Sun's editorial board, a scenario which is quite possible. The paper's reasoning, as it were, goes something like this: Tibet is tiny. But the IDEA of Tibet, under the "ice of Communism," is "a vast land extending deep into what is claimed by the Chinese communist party." Also, Tibet has been in the news lately with the Olympic torch protests, and so has Absolut. Makes perfect sense!

The Anti-Advertising Agency is a project led by artist Steve Lambert to FIGHT BACK against all the god damn ads. They're everywhere! The AAA does all types of clever little guerilla projects, but one of the most basic things they do is give out free stickers to you, the consumer. Stickers that FIGHT BACK. You put them next to annoying ads, in order to send the message: "You don't need it." It's true! After the jump, a few photos of the stickers in action [via AAA], and where to get your own. They also work as a duct tape replacement.

This is an admittedly very cool new ad for Audi, in which a whole bunch of "powerful Hungarian gymnasts" run through an impeccably choreographed routine of flips and, uh, other gymnastic moves that are meant to symbolize the inner workings of the Audi RS6's engine. The car costs over $150,000, so it better have some damn fine inner workings [Guardian UK]. Our only issue with the ad is that they could have gotten the break dance crew in Washington Square Park to do this entire routine for about $87, so if they paid the Hungarians more than that, they just got ripped off. Click to watch the automotive performance art.

Designer Marc Jacobs has an eccentric ad designer, Juergen Teller, who likes to do things like stuff Victoria Beckham into a custom Marc Jacobs bag and insert himself, in a wig and striped sweater, into a ad with model and photographer Cindy Sherman. The Cathy Horyn story on this in the Times Style section is as long and loopy as you might expect, but if you make it almost to the end, it's hard to miss the part where Teller, wearing silver underpants and having put on an extra 15 pounds for the occasion, artistically propositions the English actress Charlotte Rampling:

Prodigy, Mobb Deep's lead rapper and avid blogger, is currently locked up in Fishkill, NY. With all the time on his hands, he's been reading, writing, and philosophizing. And doing a lot of thinking about how racist the entertainment industry is. And making long, long lists of examples of racist cartoons, movies, TV shows, and advertising, and sending those lists out to be posted on blogs [VIBE]. He has a point! Can you add anything to this rundown?

Unlike the Good Old Days, when the only thing you had to fear from an advertisement was a scary photo of a possessed-looking child, marketers in this modern era have given into the temptation to cuss motherfuckers out. The New York Times uses a surprising amount of non-cuss words to get to the bottom of the trend that is advertisers who purposely put bleeped-out words into their ads. Sometimes they're real cuss words; other times, they're mundane things like product names, bleeped out in an attempt to be clever. Fuck that. After the jump, the true balls-to-the-wall prototype of ads that bleep real cuss words: "Swear Jar," a famous viral Budweiser commercial in which I honestly think the guy in the meeting room says "We're gonna fuck some ass!" and "We're gonna suck some big cock!" Still, don't drink Budweiser.

In this competitive publishing environment, you need book promotions that are really HOT. So to hype up Charles Bock's heralded new novel about the underbelly of Las Vegas, "Beautiful Children," his PR team is using fake, barely legal porn! They set up a site with a video (SFW) of a teenage girl auditioning for her first porn shoot—then, just before she gets naked, it redirects to a site for the book! This is truly forward-thinking strategic marketing. Either that, or Charles Bock is just a big perv. [SlinkyFoxVideo.com via AgencySpy]

The competitive high-fashion t-shirt market is divided into those who believe their clever t-shirts mean something and those who don't. And, of course, those who don't care, but cultivate an aura of meaning as a marketing tactic, and also those who act too cool to care, but really do. Australian label Goat Boy sells its Princess Di t-shirt with the slogan "SHE'S DEAD, So get over it" for $49.95, so you know it's special (somebody buy one for Tina Brown, quick!).But they market that t-shirt with the slogan "IT'S JUST A FUCKING T-SHIRT." And with this "very violent" video, after the jump [via AdScam], of a guy wearing the shirt getting beaten up by an old woman. Which is appropriate on so many levels.

International safe harbor for violating copyrights The Pirate Bay has signed up with Adphilia to broker a portion of the advertising on the site. Adphilia bills itself as an "invitation only" ad network "that reaches technology professionals and geeks alike." Guess the Yahoo search marketing and sexy personal ads currently running on the site just weren't working out — maybe visitors to The Pirate Bay would prefer a date with a hot moose?

Global liquor conglomerates, take note: a hastily constructed website is calling for a boycott of Absolut. Run a humorous ad in Mexico and face financial ruin, Pernod Ricard corporation! "Absolut vodka is trying to sell liquor to Mexicans that aspire to control the Southwest United States," reveals boycott organizer William "Yosemite" Gheen. Now if he can only get Matt Sanchez on his side...Despite its insistence on spelling the company's name "Absolute," the website has already attracted more than 120 visits and nearly 7 comments. But its visual and documentary evidence of the brewing Mexican separatist movement that threatens American freedom may be its most powerful tool:

The American Jewish Committee wanted to run a pro-Israel ad on classical radio station WQXR in New York. The ad's opening line is "Imagine you had 15 seconds to find shelter from an incoming missile." The station decided not to run the ad, despite the fact that it has plenty of Jewish listeners. The reason, according to the station's GM? "First, the opening line . . . does not make clear that the potential target of the missile is not our listening area, and as a consequence, runs the risk of raising anxiety in a misleading way." Good to see the radio industry has learned its lesson after that whole "War of the Worlds" fiasco in 1938! This is also why old people should not be allowed to listen to the radio. [NYP]

We mentioned that the ad campaign for the revolutionary new backless bra came with a promise from the male ad execs to model the product themselves. But we didn't think that such a spectacle would ever come to pass. We were wrong. After the jump, three pictures [via Adrants] of the male VIA advertising team striking thoughtful poses in bras. Jesus Christ.

Absolut ran an ad in Mexico showing the pre-1848 map of that country with the tagline, "In An Absolut World." The ad agency explained to the LA Times, unnecessarily, that "The campaign taps into the national pride of Mexicans." Now I see! Well, true patriots in this country aren't about to stand for some Mexicans reconquering the American Southwest via a liquor advertisement. Some internet users—even Long Islanders!—are calling for an Absolut boycott [LAT via Drudge]. That's fine with us. Xenophobes don't need to be drinking in the first place. The full version of the treasonous ad is below.