The Dermatologist-Sunscreen Industry cabal is trying to kill us all! They want us to be pale, shivering closet cases, scared to venture outside for fear of being melted by the sunlight, like bloggers. Luckily, the fearless Indoor Tanning Association is here to bring the truth to light, ha. The group, which represents the major industry of Long Island, is running an ad in USA Today decrying the health nuts' attempts to "wrongly scare people out of the sun." They point out that a little sunlight gives you Vitamin D, which protects against many cancers! Except the skin cancer you got from being out in the sun. After the jump, the Indoor Tanners' press release [via AgencySpy], with the type of foolproof logic you would expect from those who spend hundreds of hours under artificial radiation lamps:

Actor-turned-entrepreneur Robert "I call him Bobby" Deniro is planning to open a "Nobu Hotel" in the Financial District. It will be the second one—he already has a Nobu Hotel in Israel (who knew?). The plan is to, you know, make it a nice hotel, and also have a Nobu restaurant in it. Branding a hotel with a restaurant's name, and not vice versa, is an interesting concept. If it becomes popular and widespread, it could help prominent chefs and restaurateurs to have greater leverage in their partnership deals, rather than being treated as ornaments for the hotel centerpiece. The brand drives the business, so it's a bit of a gamble on Nobu's international appeal. One partner says of the hotel, "Instead of a mint on the pillow, you could find a sushi roll." Well, that actually sounds disgusting. [NYP/ pic via Curbed]

This billboard simply appeared one night last month in Orange County, Florida, and greatly upset passersby, as well as the owners of "the popular Straub's Seafood Restaurant," who feared that they could be mistaken for the billboard's owner. Straub's business was nevertheless down by two-thirds on the Sunday after the sign went up. "When you condemn all religions and say they are a fairytale, that is wrong," explained one business owner. The sign ended up being taken down—turns out "someone put it up illegally in the middle of the night." Satan? Click through for a bigger picture.

In an apparent response to a crazy, shrill right wing campaign by the "Parents Television Council" to get companies to pull their ads from hip hop TV shows like Rap City, Procter&Gamble—the world's biggest advertiser—has set up a hotline for consumers to call and weigh in on whether they're offended by seeing ads for Tide detergent on 106 & Park, or whatever [AllHipHop via MultiCultClassics]. This campaign goes to the heart of the controversial question: should corporate America give money to things associated with black people?

Larry Winget: bald person, financial guru, Hyundai pitchman. He's one of several financial authors who appear incongruously in Hyundai's current ad campaign, which features some "normal" people who, upon seeing an anonymous man in a tie pop up behind them at a car dealership and offer advice, react by saying excitedly, "Hey! Aren't you [financial author] of [personal finance advice book]?!" Whereas a real person would probably kick them in the nuts. The funny thing is that bald financial guru and Hyundai pitchman Larry Winget now says he doesn't necessarily want people to buy Hyundais at all!

Last week we showed you the supremely artistic "Darth Vader Meets Murakami" work of the anonymous vandal whose canvas is poster advertisements in the New York subways. But as impressed as we were by that, new photos—purportedly by the same vandal—have surfaced that, conceptually, make the earlier work look like a quickie plaything. This anonymous person has messages. All with only the ad posters themselves to work with. We're told these are all genuine, and not Photoshopped. Well, anonymous vandal: You are really fucking good. The six new photos [via And I Am Not Lying], after the jump.

Not content to simply line the subway station entrances, station walls, station signs, and interior of buses and trains with advertisements, New York City transit is reportedly set to enter the final frontier: ads on the outsides of subway trains. They're already testing out the idea with Continental Airlines ads on the 42nd St. shuttle [NYP]. Subway officials think this idea will go great with their existing "brand cars," where one advertiser takes over the interior of a whole car. As terrifying as this practice sounds, we know they need the money. So we'd like to strike a compromise: they're allowed to sell every last inch of the trains to advertisers, but in return they have to bring back this practice:

The high-end liquor market is crowded these days, so Belvedere came up with an idea so crazy that it just might work: an advertisement that implies that drinking their brand of vodka could get you a blowjob from an attractive woman. And they even got sexpert and James Frey collaborator Terry Richardson to do the photo! Might this radical notion of using an image to subconsciously connect their brand with the idea of sexual conquest in the minds of consumers actually serve to boost their sales and, consequently, their revenues? Stranger things have happened. [Copyranter at Animal NY]

Amnesty International, well known whiners for freedom, released a new anti-torture ad last week. And it's really good! The ad, not torture. At the very least, it's the most stylish portrayal of waterboarding America has seen since it became the hot new YouTube trend. There's also a nice, subtle nod in here to overblown bottled water ads; both are bad things that will kill you. Through economic paralysis and environmental degradation. Oh, the waterboarding will also kill you by drowning. The ad, which Dick Cheney doesn't even realize is supposed to be disturbing, is after the jump.

As loud as the uproar over Miley Cyrus' too-racy photo shoot gets, she of course is not the first young star to be packaged as a sly sex symbol. The American print media, and its advertisers, have a history of getting into trouble for this sort of thing. The two common methods are to either portray an underage girl (or, less often, boy) in an overly sexualized light, or to use "barely legal" girls in a way that evokes underage taboos with a wink and a nod. It's really a standard form, at this point. After the jump, we've compiled some of the most famous ad campaigns and media spreads that play the slick jailbait game. Does this stuff work? Apparently so.

From a 1932 ad for the Automat in London: "Dialing [the] number of soft drink or wine delivers a shot from the spigot, thus eliminating customary bar tenders." Well, that can't possibly have been good for the wine. [Modern Mechanix]

Wow! As a nerd on the PR and marketing beat I find this to be absolutely astounding and heartening: the UK is about to make it a crime for companies to misrepresent themselves as consumers in their online marketing. That means, for example, that a company setting up a fake blog to hype its own products could be prosecuted, fined, and jailed. Free speech? Whatever. This is an awesome development. And bloggers can be locked up, too!

From 1962 to 1972 adman George Lois created some of the most iconic magazine cover art of his era. Thirty-one of them are part of a new exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art, and the New York Times is offering a handy preview. My faves after the jump.

Ad agency Leo Burnett put this poster up in its offices this week, announcing a new company dress code. Even the creatives would have to wear collared shirts and cotton trousers! And the ladies! It's obviously a big ol' joke designed to help Leo Burnett seem "cool" and "with it" even though they are a huge and ancient company. But it freaked out all the ad bloggers! Ad Age's Adages blog points and laughs at those duped. Meanwhile, ad agency creatives are still allowed to not dress like assholes despite being assholes. [Adages]

A new Bud Light ad campaign was blatantly stolen from a 1989 Rob Schneider stand-up routine. Crawling Madison Avenue bastards. How far do you think that European Gigolo money is gonna go? See the shocking thievery for yourself after the jump.

· By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine]
· Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson's Oscars. [Variety]
· Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood's latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe's Organic Vodka Sauce. That's our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut]
· And since we've clearly got sex on the brain, here's video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man's James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic]
· And lastly, Amy's Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): "Are you aware that Tina Fey's husband looks like this?" Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous]

What could be more mind-numbing than checking out someone else's groceries? No, you have to press yes. No, the green button by the red one. So sometimes checkout people call their friends to pass the time at the most listless job ever. Sure, it's annoying, but who could blame them? Fortunately, checking out free-range beef is a completely different professional experience at Whole Foods. Their checkout "team" is so engaged with their work, they don't need to make personal calls. Whole Foods actually hires only friendless orphans to ensure that nothing stands between you and your organic arugula. [via Racked]

I have two major issues with this disquieting viral ad for Hot Tub meat snacks [via Adrants]. First, the name of the product. Disgusting (and real? evidence is spotty). Second, the fact that this faux-documentary by the ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi is an overlong, too smart by half, stereotyped riff on hillbillies who keep an apparently retarded freak girl tied up in the basement. Somehow it just doesn't make me run out and purchase Hot Tub snacks. It can't be helping them in the crucial hillbilly demographic, either. And if it's all an attempt to show off the cleverness of the agency, well, Kentucky has ad clients too! You can watch the strange ad-thing below. Prepare to be offended, Appalachian stereotypes!

Ever since Mean Girls became a runaway success back in 2004, Tina Fey has been riding a wave of near universal acclaim. Her ability to ride that tasty wave of popularity for the last four years without succumbing to any nasty wipeouts has arguably turned her into the Laird Hamilton of the Writers-Turned-Performers circuit. But when Baby Mama hits theaters this weekend, all of that cred that she has built up will be put to the test. Not only has Variety's Todd McCarthy gone on record calling it "exceedingly predictable", but Videogum has been trumpeting the notion that "Tina Fey-Tigue" is about to set in for the last week and some change. Recognizing that this film doesn't exactly fit the mold of traditional studio comedies (namely, in that it stars two female protagonists), Universal has been throwing a bunch of dollars at Baby Mama television advertising over the last few weeks, alternately positioning the film as a Tina Fey Vehicle, a film In Which Amy Poehler Steals The Show and, gasp, as something that even sports-loving, beer guzzling men will dig (specifically, by scoring the spots with The Cars' dude-friendly power pop anthem "Just What I Needed").

While all three of these spots appear after the jump, we thought it would be fun to enlist Defamer's videographer par excellence Molly McAleer to cut a commercial for the film that would play to all the thrill-seeking teens who have made Prom Night one of this spring's surprise B.O. hits (above). Feel free to use our cut, Universal marketing team — all we ask for is a link in return. Enjoy!

Iron-fisted Adweek editor Alison Fahey has been promoted to publisher and editorial director of the brand, and the magazine has brought in Mike Chapman, a veteran of eMarketer and The Economist Intelligence Unit, to oversee the newsroom. But Chapman will report to Fahey, meaning she's still ultimately in charge of the beleaguered reporters' lives. Theory making the rounds: Nielsen, which owns Adweek, wants to make the magazine more data-heavy (which is Nielsen's forte, and perhaps more palatable for a company coming off a round of layoffs), as opposed to journalism-heavy. [Adweek/ Adverganza]