Sources: Britney Spears Drunk On Nothing But High-Grade Crazy And The Occasional Mimosa
Since being released after just one day from her 5150 Hold (a state-mandated suicide watch, and now also the latest secret menu ordering style at In-N-Out), People is reporting that the troubled™ singer was not in fact "under the influence" of a controlled substance, as believed by authorities, and wildly speculated about by us. Quoting a number of "reliable sources," it turns out the only thing Spears was mainlining was a candle-heated spoonful of black tar crazy:
"She tested clean," [a reliable] source says.
"This lady is as clean as clean can be, and has been for some time."
The source adds the pop star never threatened suicide during the four-hour standoff at her Studio City home Jan. 3, saying such rumors were "bull——." [...]
Two separate sources who are acquaintances of the family tell PEOPLE they believe the singer has an undiagnosed bipolar disorder. One of those sources says Spears has "suffered from a psychological disease for years."
Spears, meanwhile, made a beeline back into the swarthy, cardigan-sweater-outfitted arms of paparazzo/confidante Adnan Ghalib. Improbably outwitting the army of photographers holding vigil outside her home, perhaps through counter-paparazzi measures learned by Ghalib at the Finalpixx training camp, the two returned to the arid oasis of Palm Desert, where they were spotted brunching yesterday at a Daily Grill. Spears was described as being in a "really good mood," though indulged in a not-entirely-clean-as-can-be "champagne mimosa." More details on what the couple ordered, including the exact consistency of her home fries, as we receive them.
